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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

HELP! VERY FUSSY EATER (4yr old)....

26 replies

milosmum · 25/08/2005 18:16

ok.. when my ds was small he used to try anything but then develope a bit of a "phobia" for "wet" food... such as gravy, custard, anything in a sauce/mayo... basically anything he could nt pick up with his hands. HV said this was normal and just to ignore it. Howver hes now 4 and this has just gotten worse... his diet is now basically cheese sandwiches and bananas. he really will not eat anything else. breakfast- cheese butty, lunch- cheese butty, dinner- cheeese butty!!!! its really starting to annoy me and mealtimes are becoming such a battlefield.

i will give hima very small plate of what we are having and straight away he will gag- like hes going to be sick! we have tried everything to get him to just try a little piece but no, he will continue to gag until hes sick!

this is really getting me & dh down and we are sure it cant be good for him just eating cheese bloody butties! please help!- all ideas welcome

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

spursmum · 25/08/2005 18:22

I saw a programme about a child with similar eating habits. He would only eat dry crisps and jaffa cakes!!
He saw a doctor who discovered something wrong with his throat which prevented him from eating properly. After an op he was eating jam and biscuits and getting better every day.
What I am trying to say is it might be an idea to see a doctor to make sure there is nothing preventing him eating properly.
HTH

WigWamBam · 25/08/2005 18:24

It does sound as if he's got a food phobia, and I think it's time to involve the GP and get professional help on this one.

Original poster

milosmum · 25/08/2005 18:29

the thing is- hes been at school for a year on school dinners and i ve asked if he has any problem with the food- they ve told me no, he does nt eat all of it but hes fine.....

OP posts:

WigWamBam · 25/08/2005 18:32

So he's giving you the runaround because he can? In which case maybe you should just persevere with giving him what you're having. If he gags and is sick then clean it up without comment, and give him the food back. If he won't eat it take it away, again without comment, and don't give him anything else until the next mealtime. He won't starve himself.

Blu · 25/08/2005 18:41

He actually eats school dinners? You're sure? Double check this, and that he isn't just pushing it round his plate, and they're not noticing, and then just persist.
Maybe find out from the school exactly what dinners he has been eating, and give him the same thing at home?
But keeping it low-key and relaxed, not confrontational.

Tiggiwinkle · 25/08/2005 18:44

Are you concerned about any other aspect of his behaviour?

Original poster

milosmum · 25/08/2005 18:46

with everything esle hes fine- the odd tantrum but no problems- hes a good boy....

At school there is a dinner lady who is a friend of my SIL and shes been watching him. she says he wont eat beans, gravy etc... but tries others things and eats quite alot...

OP posts:

Blu · 25/08/2005 19:09

So he really doesn't like 'wet' food.
maybe it does remind him of sick, and that's why he gags?
Did he ever have a bad experience, being sick after certian foods?

Introduce other 'dry' foods? Will he eat other sandwich fillings? But dry ones, like maybe a slice of roast beef?

'Dry' chips?

Pizza?

Ask your SIL friend what exactly he eats, and try that.

Original poster

milosmum · 25/08/2005 19:13

thanks blu- he wont eat meats for sandwiches- just takes them off and eats the bread. he will eat chips but, obviously, he cant live off them either.. he ll even have chips with sauce?!?

im just so confused- we did gt him to try those childrens spaggetti shape things but when we gave them to him next time we had the same problem....

dh says we should stop making concessions for him- only serve what we have and if he doesnt eat it- tuff- do you think that overly harsh- i oviuosly dont want to starve him

OP posts:

cori · 25/08/2005 19:14

My DS is a bit like this. He will gag and has made himself sick in the past on food he doesnt want to eat... mostly vegetables TBH.
DS diet was terrible mostly eating sausages, chips, pasta, rice not much else. A couple of months ago I went on to health kick and abolished all processed foods from the house, we found that we had been giving in to DS too much and giving him alternantives just to get him to eat something. We stopped this and he started to eat things like vegie lasange and Fish Crumble ( with leeks and carrots in it)etc. Our table rules are that he must at least try some vegetables every meal, (usually washed down with lots of Juice). We also used bribery. He really wanted Lofty ( from Bob the builder) so we set a star chart. One week of eating proper meals equals new toy. It worked for us.

Original poster

milosmum · 25/08/2005 19:20

i do have a star chart and he does loose star for not trying food or refusing to eat but he now just seems unaffected by it...i know if i offered him mcdonalds he bloody eat that.....i try not to offer alternatives but sometimes i just cant handle another battle so instead of him having lasgna i do him fish nuggets.. i guess that just doesnt help

OP posts:

Original poster

milosmum · 25/08/2005 20:18

ive just found a website that states he could be doing it as food is the only thing a 4yr old can have control over...that does explaint the gagging though

OP posts:

cori · 25/08/2005 20:49

The star chart only worked for us when found out what toy he really wanted.
He actually said to me one day 'How do I get lofty?' So I based the star chart and meals around that. Before this it didnt really work.

Pob71 · 27/08/2005 23:39

The thing that Tanya Byron (on Tiny Tearaway's) did with getting the child to touch the food seems to work well.
Ie: if ds1 doesnt want to eat something I ask him to just touch it (doesnt have to eat just touch),then praise him if he touches it and quite often he then spontaneously eats it anyway.
Worth a try!

Pob71 · 27/08/2005 23:49

Just to explain further the touching the food thing seemed to work especially well when the child was afraid of wet or sticky foods.
They made it a bit of fun encouraged parents to be more relaxed around the child at mealtimes eg having a picnic for fun and not only touching the fod but allowing them to put some yogurt or whatever on Mum or Dads nose for a laugh. Parental anxiety about mess seems to be connected to food phobia.

Good Luck

mumtosomeone · 28/08/2005 07:40

just scaned this thread so sorry if I am covering old ground!
I wouls stop worrying..if he eats other stuff at school then I fear he is playing you!! I might be being harsh and misreading things. but I would give him a banana at breakfast and maybe toast. If he doesnt it it then just say ok never mind. Dont make a fuss,just take away what he wont eat.Lunh give him his sandwich and add bits maybe as a side some carrott sticks cucumber etc, again if he leaves it fine. I think eventually he will try them. evening meal give him a jacket potato maybe and if he likes cheese put cheeso on it maybe a littl diced ham as a side. Only make a comment if he eats it! I really dont think he will starve himself, if cheese butties arent on offer then he will have to change his eating habitts!!!
By all means get him checked out if you are worried!
Good luck!!!

Ameriscot2005 · 28/08/2005 07:46

I think it is really normal for a small child not to like gravy and sauces. That's certainly been my experience.

I don't tolerate fussy eating (can't with five kids), but what I find the least stressful way to eat is to serve food from the table and to let the child choose what they want on their plate. When they see rest of the family eating things they wouldn't choose, they eventually get curious and want to try it.

If you don't want your child to eat cheese sandwiches, don't buy any cheese for a while.

mumtosomeone · 28/08/2005 07:48

I have 5 too..maybe thats why we are harsh..'there's your dinner..eat it!!'

Ameriscot2005 · 28/08/2005 07:50

If anyone doesn't finish their food in this house, someone else will.

mumtosomeone · 28/08/2005 07:51

usually me!!!!

Ameriscot2005 · 28/08/2005 07:52

Sadly the case here too

mumtosomeone · 28/08/2005 08:00

how old are yours?

Ameriscot2005 · 28/08/2005 08:01

13, 11, 8, 6, 3

mumtosomeone · 28/08/2005 08:03

14,12,11,2.5 and 11 months(today)

Ameriscot2005 · 28/08/2005 08:03

Looks like you have a good set of babysitters there!

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