please tell me if i am being stupid

[feddup]

Hi, i have three children dd just turned 4 ds 2.6 and dd 8 months. This post is about my eldest dd, she just EXHAUSTS me, she CONSTANTLY wants attention (and yes its not because iv got three and the other two get it the other two are both really laid back baby is v easy sleeps lots and ds close to his dad and v easy going sometimes i think he isnt getting enough attentionfrom me!) anyway eldest dd really really tiring (has always been like this) she constantly wants to do six trillion things everyday and im exhausted setting up activity after activity after activity, which shel do for ten mins and then shes 'bored' thats the other thing that worries me, she can cpncentrate for abt 15 mins max and then shes 'bored' and finishes off wtever shes doing in a rushed way (i noticed this more in the recent taster sessions at the school shes going to go to). I dread waking (not because iv got three, but because i no shes constantly going to be on my back telling me shes bored and doesnt no wt to do and im ashamed to say it but when she goes on and on and on like that i end up shouting at her sometimes and feel really crap afyerwards. So help! Can someone tell me if this is all normal for a 4yr old n im just stupid and unreasonable mum for thinkin its not, or whether i should do something else to stop her behaving like this (after all i do have 3 and the other 2 deserve some time aswel!) she doesnt eat lots of e numbers and crap things i make sure both older two have at least 4 fruit n veg a day etc so its not her diet. She is clever i would say (she can read small words and write most of them out) however she constantly wants entertaining and gets bored v quickley. Help!

Oh and the ONLY time she can sit still is in front of her fav tv channel but i hate sittin her in front of that so i limit it to 2 programmes a day. Help

Anybody help please!! Im desperate!!!

Sounds like a normal 4 year old to me. Don't feel guilty about using TV as a babysitter to give you half an hours peace! I've got a 6 year old and a 9 month old - I have the greatest respect for anyone who can cope with more than 1 under 5 at a time.

im not sure if normal or not all children are different maybe mentally she needs more challenging things to do does she express what she would like to do if she is bored

or could you draw up a daliy rota of tasks and she has to follow that routine and structure maybe she will follow the routine and accept the tasks and times etc

also you could try omega 3 capsules or liquid this helps with concentration but try schedule and then she has to follow this maybe reward with lots of praose if she sticks to the tasks and maybe she may start to enjoy the routine and settle down slightly for you good luck

i am interested to see other people's opinions here. i have a 3 yo who sounds very similar to this...

My 2p worth is probably actually worth less than that as my DS is only 2yrs but it sounds like she is a bright spark who is really ready for school! I'd hope the teachers will know all the right ways to engage her so she can complete tasks as I suspect most 4 / 5yr olds are like this as they start their academic life. I guess it wouldnt hurt to maybe try a reward system for completing tasks you think are important but then I'm sure loads of people will say it should be expected behaviour and not the stuff of rewards.

I really feel for you as the whinging / moving from activity to activity must be so incredibly draining, with only one DC to entertain that would annoy me too, I think you deserve a big ((hug)) and dont be too hard on yourself, it sounds really frustrating and I for one dont think badly of you for showing your frustration every now and then.

I really hope someone with practical advice comes along soon!!!

All children have to learn to amuse themselves.

Setting up activity after activity isn't doing her any favours. She has to learn to entertain herself, to use her imagination.

Her behaviour does sound normal for her age btw.

She either needs to fit in with whatever you're doing (chores around the house-helping)
Or tell her to go find something to do. Ignore the whinging, it will stop when you stop running around after her.

When my Dd1 did this (about same age) we took away her toys and rota'd them, that way she didn't get bored of the same old toys (all of them) because she hadn't played with the farm in ages as we'd shut it away in the cupboard.

could you try doing a toy swop with some friends, i know my daughter gets board/fed up playing with her toys even though she has far too many! when ever we go to friends house to play she always plays better and for longer with the 'new' toys. or you could scan ebay for some different things....might only entertain her for a few weeks??? The best toy she ever got was a dolls house from toys r us, its got millions of bits and it keeps her occupied for hours...or one of those cheap craft boxes from wilco....could you leave her on a messy mat in the kitchen/garden to just make a mess?? depends what kind of things she into. I might be totally off the mark with this but maybe worth a try??...anything for a bit of time out (for you!!)

Thanks for the replies, yes she has trillions of toys and she brings a selection down whenever she wants n plays with it (then i take them back to her room and again shel pick a selection to play with. Also have big plastic mat put all sorts of crafty things on it glue paint glitter sponges paper pom poms shapes u name it and it lasts abt 20 mins if its got all that on it. She cant just play or occupy herself and when i tell her to she gets so annoyed and stroppy and has a fit!!! Aaaaaaaggggghhhhhh!!!!!