No routine whatsoever for 16 week old!

[varmit]

Am I mad to have no routine yet? DD is only 16weeks and I have a very lively 3 yr old DS to deal with which is partly the reason.

DD is BF on demand and sleeps whenever she wants for as long as she wants! She hasn't fallen into a natural routine like DS did, partly because she's had evening colic since the early days, and is awake every evening from about 7pm till I go to bed about 11pm. I hope this starts to improve soon, but wonder if she's in the habit of being awake in the evening now, as she's asleep so much in the day!

I am going to try and start more of a bedtime routine so that she has a bath and a feed and then goes into her cot, rather than being up with me and DH with the telly on, as I'm sure that must make it harder for her to settle. But getting a daytime routine seems impossible when I've got DS running about like a mad thing, and TBH if she sleeps alot it is easier!

My question really is does is matter if you have no routine at this age, will it cause problems a few months down the line, is winging it and hoping it all works out just asking for trouble? I'm sure there will be two camps on this, the routine lovers and the go with the flow lovers! I'm not sure where I stand, because I had it relatively easy with DS and never had to try too hard, I'm not sure if I'm pushing my luck second time around!

Any thoughts welcome!

Varmit - are you me????? I have DCs exactly the same age and also no routine for the little one. For 3 yr old I was in a routine very early, but I've found it impossible 2nd time round with demanding 3 yr old.

However, my youngest seems far more chilled than my eldest ever did and I really wonder if this is partly because of not stressing so much about nap/feed times etc I must say I also feel a lot more relaxed this time as well as it all feels more intuitive (no time for it to be anything else - ha ha).

So I don't have answers I'm afraid but I'll be interested in what anyone else says.

How funny Kitty! It must be quite a common scenario to have a very different system, or lack of, for the second baby. I think my little one is pretty chilled too, but so was DS to be fair, and he always settled in the evenings, which DD hasn't done to date. I just wonder if the colic has now passed, and the reason she's awake now, is that it's what she's used too! New tactics start tomorrow anyway, and she'll be having a bath and bedtime, so I'll see how it goes. The other tricky thing is she will not take a bottle, so I can't have any time off at all. Just ordered some Breast Flow bottles, rave reviews on Amazon.

I have an 11wk old DS and 2.8 DD and we have no routine either, if that's any consolation. With DD, I thought it was some sort of law that we had to have a certain number of naps at set times. But really, who cares? It's more stress to try and force that sort of thing than it's worth, IMO, especially if they're not falling into it naturally

The only thing we do is put them both to bed between 7 and 8 every night. Everything else just sort of happens. And anyway, what's the point of trying to get a nap routine going with the little one, when the big one just makes noise and wakes him half the time anyway?

I do find it lovely to have a set bedtime, though. I feed and feed and feed him (BF) until he's practically unconscious and then he goes until about 1am. Takes a good 45 minutes to an hour, but well worth it, to be able to put feet up in front of the telly

That's encouraging, thanks Kitty and Pinata!

I did get DD into her cot asleep by 9pm last night, so a bit of an improvement, and I'll keep at it, until we've cracked a 7pm bedtime!

Glad to know I'm not alone!

(smile)