Controlled crying and MIL - FGS!!

[Havingareallyreallybadday]

I've just spent the last six days doing a routine (yet again) to get my lovely 18MO DD to sleep thru the night. It took a few days - strict naps at 1pm, bed by 7pm and letting her cry but only going in when she calmed down etc etc - but by Sunday we had got it.
She wen with her dad to grandparents for the week and last night - despite me telling MIL not to pick her up - she ended up in grandparent's bed.
I work full time, have just been told I have a stress-related blister on my retina (left eye) and know I'm going to have to do this all again next week. I did explain that to my MIL that if she could give her a cuddle in the cot and then let her cry - she would go to sleep in 20 minutes. Short term pain, long term gain. Now it looks like this week all my hard work will be undone. I don't know why am posting because there's nothing I can do except look forward to trying to manage a team of 20 and commute into London on no sleep next week. Is lovely MIL is looking after her though. Oh, feel so bad...

If it was my grandchild, I couldn't do CC either. I know it works for other people, but don't ask me to do it.

I suggest Don't let MIL look after her again for a very long time.

(I'd give an eye tooth for a MIL willing to take DC off my hands for a night)

It won't undo all your hard work. Don't be too worried about that. Unfortunately, when you delegate the childcare to anyone, you have to go with the flow a little and then go back to your own methods when you get them back. Once children have got the knack of resettling themselves, they don't go back to old habits so quickly. Ask MIL to leave her alone again but try to relax otherwise.

Yes ragged you are right, I should be grateful, I just think we probably needed to do the CC-ing for a couple of weeks rather than a few days before going away. Feel a bit mean now, although I am in a stressed mood because was sent to A&E by my optician this morning.

Once again MNetters are so wise. I do really need to chill out, but that is another thread/post entirely.

Don't worry, if it helps, your MIL isn't the only one... My MIL (before the boys were born) swore by routine and leaving babies to cry. She claimed to have left DH to cry from two weeks old! So when DS1 came along, I refused to let them have him when he was very little. I was all worried for nothing. DS1 is now 2.5 and DS2 is 9 months old and she is the softest grandma there is! All her parenting advice have gone out of the window. When DS1 stays with them, he ends up going to bed late. He eats chocolates/sweets. When he wakes early, she can't bear to leave him. I told her countless times that if she just leaves him, he will sometimes just go back to sleep but no, she just can't do it. So I've given up, when DS1 is there, I just let her do her own thing (and I have to deal with an over-tired screaming toddler the next day of course!). Still, they love him (and vice versa) and I should thank my lucky stars.

My mum is exactly the same...my son is 2 now and she gives in to whatever he asks. A few weeks ago he asked for Granny to sleep in his bed, so she did....the next few nights all I got was tears, and requests to sleep in his bed!! This has been a regular theme since he was young-I just weigh up each time whether the night off is worth the couple of terrible nights we always have getting him back into his routine afterwards!

i feel very lucky as both my parents and my in-laws do the same routine as us. i agree though that one night shouldnt undo all your hard work - by 18mo the longer term memory should be there of what is normal at home. but it sounds like you need to have a bit of help at home and get some decent sleep - could anyone stay over and help out if you do have a few nights of re-adjustment?
good luck - you'llget there x