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2yr old anxiety, nightmares - possible or too young?

2 replies

Hadeda · 03/08/2010 14:28

DD1 is 2.5 and is usually a very cheerful little thing. Recently however she's been really quite difficult and it feels to me like it's because she's anxious.

She has a black and white cat which she tells me at night is scary. For a few nights it worked if I told it not to scare DD1 and made it face the wall but now the cat has to leave the room at night.

She has woken up at night a few times crying quite frantically. Yesterday we were looking at a book and she told me the dog in the book had a bad dream. In the dream the dog was crying and dog's daddy came into the room but his mommy didn't come at all. Now at night when she wakes up DH tends to go and fetch her because his side of the bed is closest to the door, but she comes straight into bed with both of us. So was she was describing what happens when she has a dream, or did she actually have a dream where that happened? I just don't know.

The other thing to happen recently is that DH went away for a week on a cycling trip. We explained about daddy being away and she spoke to him on the phone every day but she was clearly annoyed with him when he got home (said hello very happily but then "remembered" to be cross and ostentatiously went to read her book) and was very very clingy with me while he was away and ever since.

So, I think she's anxious - but is she too young for these types of emotions?
And how best to deal with it? e.g. I took the scary cat out the room and told it off for making DD1 scared. DH dealt with it by making the scary cat into a crazy cat who bounced all over her bed and then went to sleep at the end of it. Are there any big dos or don'ts with this?

It's quite weird in a way, because until now all my worries about the DDs have been more physical (e.g. wakes up crying because teething/has a cold) and this is the first time I've had to deal with a mental issue that I can't take practical steps to "fix" (e.g. give teething gel, spoon of calpol).

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Chil1234 · 03/08/2010 16:29

If you've got an imaginative child there's no reason why it wouldn't have vivid dreams. I used to be a lucid/vivid dreamer as a kid, less so as an adult, and there is actually a technique you could teach her. Which is that if she sees the scary dog/cat/whatever in the dream she simply has to say to it 'this is a dream' and then decide what happens next.... obviously something nice! And if she wakes up dreaming and can't shake it off (it's still there when you close your eyes again) then - rather than getting into your bed - tell her that if she rolls over and faces a different direction, that will make the dream go away.

As for other emotions, children are 100% emotion .... they are programmed to communicate that they are happy, sad, hungry, distressed and pre-language, all they've got is raw emotion. Rationality, social conventions and boundaries we learn as we grow up to keep those emotions in control and shape them. So the fake anger at dad for going away for a week is totally normal. What you've got is 'an actress'

Hadeda · 06/08/2010 14:26

Thanks Chil - sorry I haven't been back to this for a few days. I definitely do seem to have an actress. This week we have had the scary cat (she insists the scary cat is on her shelf during the day so we have a nightly issue with it!), Wee Willy Winkie was after her and the crocodile was comming to get her.... And we watched Charlie and the Chocolate Factory which I thought would be fairly benign but the girl who blows up like a blueberry and the OompaLoompas made a very big impression. Guess at least it shows her mind is working!!

I've tried talking to her about the "dream trick" you mentioned. She's probably a bit young to manage it yet, but if I talk about it at least it's there if she can use it...

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