Do I really have to change my meal time?

[Novascotia33]

Hi everyone, I've been accustomed to putting DS 2.5 and DD 6mnths to bed, and then nice food and wine with my OH, and a bit of grown up time.

In order to eat at the table with my DS We'd have to eat at about 6, then put him to bed at 7ish.

What does everyone else do, I'm not of course saying I dont want to eat supper with my kids ever, and as they grow they'll stay up later, and that'll be great. But my mum says if I don't eat with them each evening in general, they'll have bad table manners. Is she right or is that just rubbish. A friend said, I'll have to cook two suppers etc. But to be honest, I wouldn't mind that at all.

I'm interested in what everyone else does, or how it works for them.

We do enjoy lunches at the table all together at the weekend (is that not enough when they're this little?) Am I just being difficult for not being able to sit and eat at 6, it seems so bloody early to me.

Most nights I eat with the children, about 5.30. I tend to have a smallish portion then something else later, either proper food or rubbish depending on mood!

DH doesn't eat with us due to shiftwork. If we are having something nice later on I would sit at the table and pick at a few bits of food and have a drink.

I do find they eat better with you, dull as it is

I only find it too early because I will get hungry again later, but I have lunch with them too and that tends to be earlyish, 11.45-12.15 approx. So I am ready to eat again by their teatime.

I don't think it necessarily means bad table manners. But it is good to learn from your example.

Also, it is good to eat with children, as it helps them try different foods. They do learn from watching others.

FWIW I don't think 6pm is terribly early.

We eat later, they both get cooked lunch at school. When they are older they will eat with us. we eat together at weekends. We sit at the table when they are having their food.

Eglu, yes sure 6pm not early for a lot of people, it's just is for me. We've currently got Grandparents staying and they like to eat early, so we've all been eating together at 6 and i don't like it much, plus keeping 2.5 year old sitting at table for longer than 20 mins is proving difficult - but I expect that's normal.

moaningminniewhingesagain that sounds quite good, trouble is I'd be the size of a bloody house if I did two sittings haha.

Five go mad, how old are your kids, if you don't mind me asking, your plan sounds good.

We starting eating at 630 rather than 7 when our son became old enough to eat at the table. It was a nice compromise and allows us to eat together as a family. He is then in bed between 730 and 745 most nights.

I do think eating all together is important.

We all eat together at weekends

Evening meals during the week the DC eat about 5.30

I like to wait for DP (he's not home until about 7, far too late for them to eat

Before I had dcs I used to eat about 8-9. Now I eat at 4-4.30 and have a big slice of cake and a coffee at 9ish when they have all gone to bed. Your body gets used to it.

On weekdays I eat with dcs around 7.30, dp comes home later and eats the rest, we have some wine, talk etc. On the weekend we all eat together around the same time. DS goes to bed at 9 and DD(18 m) around 8.30- I find then she sleeps til 7.30-8 in the morning, which is great.

Tee2072 that is a compromise I thought of. When did you consider your son 'old enough'?

We used to eat at 7:00 before ds's and continued until DS1 was 2 or 3 I guess.

Now we all eat together at 5:30pm. It took a bit of getting used to but cooking twice in the evening was a pain and I do like eating together.

I do think children learn by example and sitting at a table eating a meal together is a good habit to get into if it's possible.

My dh gets home regularly at 8.30, so after the dc bedtime! Sometimes I eat with the dc, sometimes with dh (and sometimes both!). I don't see why dc would necessarily have bad table manners if not eating evenings with parents. If they see you eating at the table at weekends, rather than in front of the tv, they'll learn.

OP, is your mum getting at your dc? Or just predicting trouble ahead that won't happen?!

I'm with notnowbernard. Eat together at weekends but, during the week, child ate at about 5.30pm & I sat with him and had a cup of tea and maybe a slice of toast. When he got to about 7 we moved to a post-school drink and biscuit snack at 5pm and then family dinner at 6.30-7pm. No problems with table-manners I'm pleased to say.

I have a small portion of whatever my DD is eating at about 5.30 or 6. Then I have a proper meal once she's in bed. I do think that eating together is important, but my DH can't get home from work early enough to eat with DD, so I'd rather have my 'proper meal' later with him.

I make dinner for the kids around 5/5.30pm and then dh makes our dinner later on when he is home from work. He gets home between 6.30 and 7pm so its too late for the kids to eat then. I eat with them at breakfast and lunch and we all eat tigether at the weekends so they get to practice their table manners then

We also only eat together on weekends. On my days at home I eat breakfast and lunch with them which I think counts for something too.

The DDs eat their dinner at 5pm which is far to early for me (they're 1 and 2.5). DH and I both work (tho' I'm part time) and during the week we split the "early shift" to make work bearable. Generally the "worker" only gets home around 7pm/7:30pm . We generally eat around 8pm - tbh I wouldn't like to eat earlier than that. Plus I agree it's important to have DH, wine and grown up talk time. It's often the only time we have together and I think it's important for the two of us.

BooKangaWonders no not getting at current manners, just predicting a possible senario. He eats anything and everything now, so, so far so good. I think I'm feelign reassured that we can eat together on the weekends and table manners wont suffer.

Chil1234 Yeah when he's 7 that would be great. Right now he's 2. When he has his lunch now I sit at the table with him and never with tv on.

Maybe I'm just overthinking it.

Novascotia I can't remember for sure, although he's sat in his high chair with us at the table longer than he's been weaned. He's 13.5 months now and has probably been eating with us from about 10 months. Before that I thought even 630 was too late for him to have his 'last' solid meal of the day, although he wouldn't necessarily be in bed at 630, just not really eating anything, IYSWIM.

We used to eat at 8ish pre kids but now eat at 5. If DH is on a late shift then I make him tea later but eat with DD's, if he's on an early then we all eat together and DH and I have a snack later in the night.

We eat breakfast adn lunch together as well.

The kids eat tea at 5ish, they have a hot meal at school
I eat lunch with them in the holidays
only ate with my parents at weekends and never did my siblings or me any harm

compo music to my ears

We always have supper at 6.15-ish and dd (14mo) eats with us then goes straight to bed.

We eat just after 6 when dh gets home, kids too (3yo and about to turn 1yo).

My parents eat really early (used to have tea at 4.40pm when I was growing up so 6 seems late to them.

Until recently the children ate at about 5 and we ate at 8. At the weekends we ate together. As they are getting older (they are now 5 and 2.5) we are having more family meals at about 6. This is largely because eating as a family is now more enjoyable, and less about me trying to feed myself with one hand and sorting out everything else.

I think it is something that evolves naturally if you are open to it. You could try it for one night a week (we have a "slow-cooker" meal once a week) and see how it goes.
One thing that it has meant is that my evenings now seem longer because I am not putting them to bed, then cooking, and then eating. Now when they are in bed I can completely relax.

yy clement, when they were small I cooked twice for them and us and it drove me mad, nw I do all our tea, put it away while they watch some telly/play with dh before bed and then after they have gone all I have to do in MN and drink wine.

DS has eaten with DH and I at 6pm almost from the start of his sitting at table eating adventure. I have no wish to cook 2 dinners and don't want DH to always be having re-heated what ever. In the very early days I'd give DS a hefty mid afternoon snack to make sure he wasn't famished and grumpy before 6.