Should I drop the dummy?

[curlytoes]

I have always disliked dummys/pacifiers/soothers. The sight of a toddler walking around with a lump of plastic in their face, and worst of all trying to talk with it still in their mouth, irks me. However, my DC3 was a very colicky baby and after trying all sorts of ways to comfort her we resorted to the dreaded dummy. It worked like magic,not just making her quiet but actually calming her. Now she is nearly four months old we seem to be out of the woods with the colic and I would like to be rid of the dummys. I have just tried putting DC to bed with all her usual routine except the dummy. She has screamed enough to wake the dead and nothing I did comforted her. After half an hour I popped her dummy in and she fell instantly to sleep! So what do I do? Is it worth upsetting her in the short term to be rid of the dummy or should I relax and go with what makes her happy?

I wish I had used a dummy with dc1 as he still sucks his thumb and dc2 and 3, who did have a dummy, don't. I got rid at 6 months and ime it is the best age to do it. Took 4 nights with dc3.

A lot of people will disagree with this and say put up with it, but personally, I think she's too young. She won't understand why she can't have it, only that she can't. If it soothes her, what's the big deal?

My son is 13.5 months and I am just starting to think about restricting his dummy use to naps and bed, but am waiting until he settles a bit better into day nursery first.

I also like the idea of waiting until they understand and sending it to the fairies or to Father Christmas.

I felt exactly the same way with dummies and was starting to worry about exactly the same thing when DS was 4 months. I gradually weaned him off them; took him down to dummies only during naps/bed time. I then used to wait till he was asleep and remove the dummy so he wasn't sucking away on it throughout a sleep. Then at about 6 months I just didn't give it to him. I think he grizzled a bit, but was fine on the second night.

We introduced classical music as a sleep cue whilst he was still using the dummy and continued with that when we stopped with the dummy.

I'm sure some people would argue that if it's a comfort to her you should let her continue. I felt like I'd rather be rid of it sooner than later - have the 'battle' while his memory span was still fairly short.

Thanks. A friend also mentioned the thumb sucking thing. I wondered if I was latching on to this argument because I wanted to though.

Agree with Tee, she is too young to understand.

I have 2 DDs

DD1-sceamed like a banshee, very hard to settle, My Mum persuaded me to give her dummy. Result- v happy baby, who slept through the night(well 11-5!!) at 2 months.

She kept it till she was 3, from about 6 months I only let her have it at bed time, she NEVER took it out in daylight! She knew it had to stay in her bed so it didnt get lost and so she never expected it to be around during the day.

At 3 we sent it to Father Christmas and he sent her a special Thankyou note!!

DD2-sucked thumb from about 4 weeks, I thought this was wonderful, but she is still sucking it now, she is 16!!!! You cant send a thumb to FC!

That's my big fear, Quicklookbusy. The few times we've been out without it, he's just sucked his thumb. I can bin the dummies! I can't cut his thumbs off!

And since he was given the dummy while in SCBU, to help him associate his full tummy (feeding tube) with sucking, I am loathe to take it away now! (not that he has trouble swallowing, I mean he's had it since day one!!!)

My son was given a dummy when he was in the childrens hospital when he was 2 weeks old as he was nil by mouth. I didn't like him having it but it helped him when he was not able to feed. When we got him home 3 weeks later he was used to it so we went with it for sleep times.
When he got to 6 months old we changed it to one that was a different shape (for his teeth), he wouldn't even entertain the idea of using it so he gave up in the space of a day and didn't even cry.
I'd say your little one is too young to understand why she can't have it so I'd let her have it for another couple of months and then try and wean her off it.

I thought it'd be easier to do it now before she got too attached to it but it seems she is really keen on it already. It's reassuring to hear it might actually be easier in a few more months, not harder.

I was totally anti soothers. However DS1 had one and he slept like a dream (DS2 refused point blank and was always a poor sleeper). Apart from when he was really tiny he was only allowed it for bedtime and it was no problem.

In fact I believe the use of soothers is now recommended as another thing to reduce the risk of SIDS so I think the tide is turning generally and the positives outweigh the negatives.

I have 3dcs the third (ds) is also 4mths and i am wondering whether to get rid of the dummy to.
Mt dd1 had one until she was two and we sent them to the dummy fairy..posted them in the postbox and everything..thne when we got back the fairies had left her a taggy blanket on her pillow (she only had a dummy to )

She was completely fine with it.

DD2 refused a dummy or any teat and sucks her middle two fingers and still does now she is 28mth..but cant see her stopping anytime soon. I thought if was fab at first as i never had to go into her as she would always self settle and sleep so well. But now im worried about her teeth etc.

So long term the dummy is prob a good thing apart from when they get to that point where you have to keep going in everytime they lose it..my ds has just got to this point now!

We gave one to ds1 as he was a colicky thing and we also wanted to follow the guidelines for reducing the risk of sids.

He had it whenever he wanted until 3months, after which we only let him have it at night. He spent a day crying for it but then seemed to cry less - perhaps because he wasn't 'asking' for it anymore.

When he turned 6months we took it away altogether. It took 3 nights of sitting with him and comforting him and then afterwards he slept better as he wasn't forever dropping and then crying for his dummy.

Dd (newborn) seems a much calmer baby so we haven't needed to give her a dummy yet but she has started sucking her thumb so we might well try to tempt her with a dummy instead!

Hadn't heard of the SIDS/ dummy link so it's good to know.

The info i was given on safe sleeping said to give your baby a dummy for all sleeps!

My daughter is 5 months and we threw the dummies away on Sunday night. I was dreading it but she had become completley dependant on them and was waking 5/10 times a night for it.

However, Sunday night she cried for 45 mins (I soothed her throughout) and then she slept the best she ever has. Last night was even better, and for all her naps since Sunday she has rolled around the cot and got herself to sleep. So for me it was the best thing to do as she is young enough not to remember it but it soothed her when she was little.

I would stop dummy during whilst awake, but allow for sleeps, then when she seems ready, drop it from day time sleeps, then eventually night times. That's what I did with both mine and it worked by the time they were 1.

Hi,

Dummy issue is a tough one. I don't like seeing babies/children with dummies.

That said we ended up giving DD a dummy when she was 6 weeks old. It was after 2 of my friends admitted that they still sucked their thumbs (both mid-thirties) every night (or when relaxing or watching tv) despite many attempts to stop. Neither were given dummies as babies and with the current SIDS advice of dummies being helpful, we gave one to DD.

She now 12 months and from the very beginning she's only had it for sleep time and still only has it for her nap and bedtime.

In many respects its excellent. She's a dream sleeper and settles so well and loves going to bed. The dummies are tied her comforter.

We've never had any sleep issues with DD at all and from she was 6 months and I stopped BFing and stopped milk during the night, she does not wake and she does not call for us.

If you can tie the dummies to a comforter, your LO can always find them during the night and it prevents them falling out of the cot etc. And your LO can settle him/herself again without you having to get up.

We're getting towards the time where DD will have to give up her dummies. I am in the process of weaning her off the bottle for milk so dummies have a reprieve until that its sorted and has settled down.

I don't think you need to take the comfort the dummy provides away from a 4 month old. They're only small and clearly enjoy the comfort from the dummy. You may also save yourself a lot of sleep issues by keeping the dummy.

There will inevitably be tears when the dummy goes, whatever age the baby is, but I'd rather DD was old enough to understand most of the explanation given (the smaller babies need it, they're all broken etc etc), than have a small one howl and howl for comfort when they're too little to understand why.

i would keep it for now, maybe try again every few months and see if she seems any more ready to sleep without it? but if not then let her keep it for now..
i have similar thing with my ds2 now 7 months, i wasnt thinking to let him keep dummies til this age (ds1 gave it up by himself by 3 months) but he really likes it, so for now he is keeping it. if it keeps them happier and makes your life easier, then i dont think its such a crime to just let them have it. try to keep it to a minimum in the daytime and gradually get them not soo dependant on it, and hopefully the dummy fairy techniques will work when they are old enough.