DS laughs at my very best no-nonsense voice! How to discipline?

[bondgirl77]

When I use my stern voice, my DS, 2.9, often just laughs at me. I don't over-use it, I don't think. If I use a very shouty voice, I get tears as a response! Ideally I'd like to get somewhere in between. I see other mums with their DCs who take notice when the stern tone is used. Has anyone dealt with this highly irritating response?! How do I get him to take me seriously without unwittingly scaring him with angry mummy??

My DS has been known to do the same - frustrating isn't it!

Now I try to say something like 'if you keep doing that, Mummy will get cross and shout at you'. It doesn't work all the time but it does help.

Will be interested to hear what other answers you get.

My "stern" voice is also ignored by DD (2.10). I now usually say something similar to BlueChampagne ie "Do you want mummy to get cross and shout at you, Sweetheart?". Usually, she doesn't and so does as she's asked.

I do find the speaking to her in a calm, clear voice at her height works but, unfortunately, I'm not always in the right frame of mind for that...

And, if we're being honest, sometimes I do shout at her and I hate myself for it.

Really frustrating! It's up there in the frustration stakes with people trying to make you laugh when you are angry with them. And it sometimes sends me straight to angry mummy, which I also hate . that is a really good idea actually, both, thanks. Although sometimes he will say, expectantly 'are you going to get cross?' I think I have a bit of a drama king on my hands, I actually think he does things to get an extreme reaction sometimes. He gets that twinkle in his eye and I just know he wants me to rise to it! Oh dear, I sound like a right ogre, don't I?!

A quiet voice, getting down to his level and looking him straight in the eye.

I train teachers in behaviour management, and this is the most common behaviour which winds people up...

One exercise we do is a roleplay where one person sits on the floor and another one tells them off. Without exception, everyone who is being told off laughs, smirks or giggles. It's a completely natural and instinctive reaction, especially when you know the person doing the telling off well.

You have to ask yourself if it actually matters if he laughs? Does it really stop him listening or does it just wind you up? Be honest!

If you have used a stern voice and told him off, as long as he does what you have told him to, isn't that a success? If he doesn't, then that means the technique is ineffective, but laughing is probably not the problem; it just pushes our buttons.

Ignore the laughter- the message will still get through

I would use your stern voice and up the volume. Obviously he really doesn't like it when your voice is louder.... so use that fact to your advantage but use it sparingly. No shame in making a kid cry occasionally.

tethersend that is interesting and very true. I see it as a sign of defiance and that he is not taking me seriously. I can't really think at this moment whether he takes notice or not when he giggles (usually because it is swiftly followed by me losing my temper!) but I will try and monitor that. He has done it ever since he was little and at first it used to make me giggle too as it was such an infectious, genuine giggle. Maybe that is the effect he is still going for, except now it winds me up instead!!

My children laugh when I tell them off, too. But then I start counting.... They soon stop smiling. If I get to 3, whatever I've said will happen, happens. I rarely count past '2' because they've stopped/done whatever it is they were meant to do.