Ds hates having new shoes or clothes....

[Decorhate]

He is 6 so not just toddler awkwardness....

He needs new trainers & school shoes but won't even look at new ones in the shops because they are not exactly the same as his current ones.

He is ok with school uniform but holiday time is difficult as he will only wear a couple of pairs of shorts/trousers (t-shirts slightly better as he will wear 4-5 of the many he has). It's not too bad when we are at home as I can wash & dry them quickly but don't look forward to washing every day when I am away.... plus the ones he does wear are getting very worn looking...

Any tips to improve things?

What doesn't he like about them? Is it lables? The stiffness of new clothes?

My DS will only wear jogging bottoms, and hates clothes shopping. Can you buy some cheap shorts and make him wear them? Washing them several times first. Say you've run out of clothes.

I wouldn't worry about new school shoes yet, work on him accepting the idea he will have to have new ones by the end of the holiday. Get him something cheap he will wear, for now.

(Is he as infexible in other areas of life?) Do try talking to him, and find out why he is the way he is.

I think he just doesn't like change when it comes to clothes, it's not the colours or pattern or anything like that. We have loads of hand-me-downs from his older brother which are soft (he also prefers jogging bottoms!) but he won't even try them.

I do try saying that all his favourites are in the wash, he is happy to wear them dirty! He is very stubborn - issuing ultimatums tends to make him resist even more so I need "tricks"!

Hurrah! Have just returned from shoe-buying expedition for all dcs and got him to agree to a new pair of school shoes and trainers. The trainers are hideous but at least they are the right size now.

Next move is to throw out the old ones when he's not looking so he can't wear them anymore!

The throwing out is a whole new kettle of fish. I have one DD with AS and one being assessed and they get appallingly upset about throwing things out or passing them on to younger children. DD2 screamed to 2 hours on Sunday night because I insisted we recycled an old torn magazine. There wasn't anything special about this particular magazine she wants to keep everything.

So do I do as you do Decorhate and throw things out when they're not looking or do I make them face up to it because it's a life skill and they have to learn to deal with it?

It's so much easier to do it behind their back but is it the right thing?

I think many children have trouble with giving things away even if they don't have SN... My ds doesn't like to give things away even if they are clothes that he refuses to wear!

Personally I don't think it is worth causing upset by getting them to give their agreement to it - far easier to get rid of things when they are not around and then say, "Gosh I haven't seen that for ages, no idea where it might be" if they ask for it later.

If you think there is a chance they will be really distraught you could put the items away where they can't find them & wait to see if they are missed before getting rid of them altogether?

I could do that but my DH is as bad as my girls and I think it's because his parents never made him throw anything away. Their flat is crammed so full you can hardly even find room to stand.

I worry that if I don't help them to learn to deal with those feelings now they'll end up living in a similar way.