Any thoughts on why DD may have started screaming at night?

[2cats]

DD is nearly one and has never been a great sleeper but used to settle well. She is screaming as I type and has been for nearly and hour. She is an ok temp, has had calpol, teething gel, water, cuddles, been left but won't settle.

I don't think she's unwell but is teething. The last few nights she has started crying about 4 am and not stopping until 6am. If I cuddle her she's fine but will not settle alone until she's sobbing and exhausted.

Any thoughts? I'm out of ideas

any one please? I'm really at the end of it now

if she's teething and unsettled why not cuddle her? surely not worse than hours of screaming?

Give her a cold teether/let her suck an ice cube as you hold it for a bit and take her into bed with you, it is only a phase so if it means you both get some sleep then it will be worth it, she will get back into a sleeping pattern once these teeth are out. DD (13 months) is pushing out four molars (and already has 8 teeth) at the moment so I can totally sympathise. If she is screaming even after Calpol (which can take an hour to start working fully sometimes) it must really hurt (they can get headaches, earaches, bad bellies and all sorts when they are pushing out a tooth) so give her some TLC, you can get her back into sleeping on her own once the worst is over.

Not quite the same thing but when dd2 was about 2 she suffered from night terrors for a while. She would settle as normal and then wake up screaming in the middle of the night for no apparent reason. A quick cuddle and she'd go straight back to sleep.

But...it was exhausting and in the end I took her to my gp who actually prescribed a sedative for her for a week to get her back into a normal sleep pattern. He admitted it was an old fashioned remedy but it worked for us.

Might be worth getting her checked out.

Thanks everyone! Had a slightly better night last night as she only cried for an hour. Did cuddle her more but it's really hard as I'm exhausted and DH and I can't sleep with her in the bed.

Sandstorm- was thinking a GP apt might not be a bad plan, wish I could speak to my HV but she's rubbish and will just tell me to let her scream.

Am struggling to get the balance between letting her cry and not, when to cuddle and when to be firm.

Allsheep- That's a really helpful point this just being a phase. It's amazing how quickly I seem to have lost sight of that.

Thanks again

Just a thought but have you tried baby nurofen/ibuprofen? If inflammation causing pain it may help reduce it and you can alternate with Calpol.

I think it could be that she is turning one. My DD is 14mths today and until a month ago was a great sleeper - 8 till 8 just waking up to get her dummy back occasionally.

However, it has all been to pot this last month. She is now in our bed for half the night as we are too tired to spend ages settling her! She sleeps fine then, so think it is separation anxiety plus she has just started walking which lots of mumsnetters say is a big moment for them developmentally which often makes sleep go haywire. She has got two teeth coming too so that just adds to the mix.

So we dose her up with Calpol and if she won't settle after 15 mins or so she comes in with us and is then fine.

She'll grow out of it, as she has done all the other phases we have been through. (She says in hope! )

PS

When DD comes in with us DH goes into the spare room so there is only me and DD in the bed.

PPS

I don't think you can be firm with a 12 month old who has separation anxiety. I tried it with DD but they are too young to get it. I think they are programmed to protest at being separated and you can't do much apart from ride it out.

Its easy to forget how little they are. My DD is very chatty, you can really interact with her, she walks, she uses cutlery well. The danger is you start thinking of them as much more advanced than they are.

EG I did the "mirror" test with DD the other day (put a blob of lippy on forehead, look in mirror, see whether they touch the blob on the reflection or on their own head - its an indicator of whether they have a concrete sense of their own bodily parameters etc). I thought DD would be able to do it no probs, but she didn't - showing that I was imagining her to be much more developed psychologically than she really is.

I stopped trying to "be firm" after that and instead just tell myself that she is still a very small person. If she doesn't understand that the reflection is her, she also doesn't have enough sense of time and space to understand that Mummy is only downstairs when she wakes up in the dark in the middle of the night.

This screaming - horrible as it is - is very common. As everyone has said, it could be teething, it could be developmental. When learning to walk, a lot of babies suddenly do this waking-up thing even when previously they have slept well.

It is gruelling. We got through it on a mix of Calpol, cuddles, coming into our bed, small amounts of crying (15 mins maybe) etc etc.

It took about 3 months with us, but we are through it and back to the (mostly) godo sleeping baby we had before.

Good luck!

Bumpsadaisie & OP, there is a sleep regression around 13 months ish: see here. This may be contributing.

Have you tried a bit of music? My nearly 1 year old can be screaming blue murder but his cot mobile music calms him down.

AngelDog that description of sleep regression is exactly what DD is doing!
She is trying to walk at the min so that could also be a factor.

Bumpaside- hadn't even considered separation anxiety as she's just started nursery which hasn't on the surface bothered her and she does not get upset when I leave the room or with other people etc.

Allsheep am trying the neurofen stuff but does not seem to be doing much.

Our bed is big and we can all fit in I just can't sleep as I worry about her falling off or getting stuck under the covers etc.

Noblegiraffe- have tried singing.... may be that's why she's so upset! That is a good suggestion and something that used to calm her down when she was newborn.

tablefor3- thanks for your thoughts.

After all the fab posts from you lovely ladies think I need to just go with cuddles and soothing and keep in my mind that it will pass, thanks so so much everyone

Glad it was useful! Quite a lot of people know about the 4 month regression, but not many have heard of the subsequent ones.

My DS is certainly affected by developmental things - his sleep went haywire when he was learning to roll.

Echo AngelDog - my DD had what I subsequently realised was prob sleep regression around 4 and 12 months and I think is just getting over (or maybe having a quick break from ) 18m regression.

Nothing seemed to work and nothing will stop you being exhausted but I think I would have felt a lot better (esp with this recent one) had I known that she would go back to her previous sleep pattern in the end.

Touch wood, at the moment things are good here and she is back to her usual self (even though she is definitely teething so I would have expected more problems). I couldn't leave her screaming as it didn't seem to subside and was different from 'normal' grumbles before getting to sleep. Your call how you handle it but I just ended up doing lots of cuddling/patting/ssshhing etc.

Good luck, hope it doesn't last too long!

Thanks teatowel, I put her down then she started crying earlier so I stayed with her until she fell asleep on me then i put her down.

Know what you mean about the screams being different to normal grumbles. Think I struggle with cuddles etc being ok as have lots of Mummy friends who never pick their babie up at night just rub on teething gel and shut the door, which isn't me!

This sleep regression info is so interesting, i never knew about it until now.

Fingers crossed tonight is better, thanks again everyone

Think you just have to adjust.

DDs teeth have now come through and she has gone from doing a couple of steps to walking across a room in a week. Plus we have had visitors and she has been turfed out of her room. Poor child must be all of a muddle. She is very whiny, cries as soon as I am out of sight, nothing is quite right.

Tonight I just said to myself, right, I'll just sit here with her till she is good and fast asleep (I had got used to putting her down awake as she used to be happy to settle herself!). But it only took 15 minutes tonight and not a peep since, fingers crossed! If she can just go through till 4am at least I will get 5 hours unbroken which makes a world of difference. Its when she wakes up at one and then five that it is a killer!

So for the future I'll just do what I did tonight, till she';s out of this phase and able to settle herself again. It makes bedtimes much longer when you are desperate to get downstairs for your supper and pint glass of red wine, but it's not long in the grand scheme of things!

I am trying to adjust but am on my knees to be honest. Had a shocking one last night as even cuddling wouldn't get her off to sleep, have been up since 3:40

Have a GP apt today so am hoping that may shed some light on things.

thanks as ever for your post, am keeping my fingers crossed for tonight as am at work all day tomorrow so need some sleep!

Am more than happy to sit and cuddle when it works

Oh no, that sounds rough. Why don't you get out all the weapons in the armoury simultaneously (calpol, bonjela, milk, cuddles, soft music!)

Mine had a pretty good night last night, thank god!

That's my plan for tonight!

Glad you had a better one last night, am going to be so upset when she starts loosing her teeth after all the pain we're going through to get them!

Hope you have another good one tonight

1:30 and she's crying already... have tried all ideas discussed but no joy :-( i really need some sleep now, hope ur all having a better one!

Oh dear 2Cats ...

I really think it could be developmental.

I don't want to rub it in when you must be feeling awful.

In the last two days, my DD has

(1) turned 14 months
(2) started independently walking for periods rather than just two/three steps then fall down.
(3) after months of teaching her and her not getting it at all, decided to come downstairs on her own on her hands and knees ((I had the shock of my life when I ran to the stairs to see her almost all the way down! She normally sits at the top and cries for my to help her!)
(4) Two teeth that have been bulging in ger gums for ages have come through properly.

And lo and behold, last night we seemed to be back on track with the sleeping!! She had her story and milk, and then I gave her a cuddle and put her down. In the last month or so I have had to sit with her for ages as she had her eagle eye on me to make sure I didn't leave her. Last night, she rolled onto her side away from me and wasn't at all bothered about checking I was there (I stood there gobsmacked, waiting for the wailing!)

She slept through till 8am, in her own cot, just waking once to get her dummy back (after which she went right back off to sleep - whereas in the past month I have had to sit with her for ages again).

It is as if something finally has clicked, and she is now carrying on as before. I can see it in her face - she is chuffed with all her new skills and so bright and sparky too now she has had a couple of nights of decent sleep.

No comfort to you now of course, but I am sure your DD will come through this and it won't be like this for ever.

Have you tried getting your DH to vacate the bed and just having you and DD in bed? You must be knackered and when you are in the middle of a phase like this it is just "whatever works". It really was a classic regression for us - it was like DD was 2 months old again and needing to be with me all the time (and poor old DH in the spare room again!)

When DD wouldn't settle at bedtime I often just lay her on our bed (which she associated with me) until she drifted off. Then I'd go downstairs, and move her into her cot when we went to bed (by which time she would be out for the count).

Sending you courage and hoping that this phase will pass soon.

Thanks bumpaside it is a huge comfort to know it will pass I just hope it won't take another three months!

DH was on nights last night so it was just DD and I in bed but I still couldn't sleep. It was positive however as she went off on her own in the evening but just didn't do the same later on! I was up until 3.30 with ehr

DD has however just been sick all down me so maybe there is something physical going on even though the dr said she was fine.

DH is off nights now and been asleep all day so going to try sort DD out tonight when if she wakes up I can stry in bed as working again tomorrow.

Your continued support is really helping me, hope you have another good one tonight Thanks x

Oh, well, Hang in there!

Mine had another absurdly easy bedtime and slept through without waking up at all.

DH and I were sitting downstairs with our wine, not knowing what to say to each other its so long since we've enjoyed grown up time! Ha ha.

It will pass, it will get better, it will pass, it will get better (repeat mantra till you believe it!