Table manners in a 4yo?

[usedallmyideas]

Any ideas on how to get our 4yo to sit nicely at the table or should I be entering this in the "Am I being unreasonable" topic?!! Most of the time he won't use cutlery. And he just seems to leap about the table like a nutter if he doesn't want to eat the meal we've lovingly prepared!! Tried ignoring it as it's just attention seeking (results in the squeals and squeeks escalating to eardrum splitting levels!); tried praising good behaviour (we do that anyway). Most recent "development" is to turn round and show his btm!!! I'm sure we'll look back in a few years and laugh our heads off but now at stage where we dread eating out somewhere as we're not sure what behaviour we'll get!! Having said all that, he is generally well behaved rest of time but any advice would be really welcome! Thanks.

Hmm, 4 is quite late to be cracking this.

You can model good behaviour, by sitting down yourself and show him how to eat politely. You have to have a good range of facial expressions, so that you can show disapproval and delight without words.

Then there is old-fashioned bribery pudding/no-pudding, juice vs water, and naughty step if he is really out of hand (such as mooning at the table).

It's quite a recent thing - he used to be very good at the table, but we've tried most things (including bribery and naughty step). We always sit down together to eat and try to set good standards (we don't tend to moon each other ), but he seems to be deliberately seeking confrontation, for some reason? Not tried the facial expressions though, so we'll give that a go! Thanks.

DH will (and has!) put the DDs down from the table for bad manners. Once they are prepared to behave properly, they are allowed back up to finish their meal.

This only works if they actually want their tea, of course - fortunately, ours are usually hungry enough to want to get back up

Does he behave like this in other settings? Or is it just at the table? I would be tempted to say that behaviour this appalling results not in a naughty step but in being removed to a different room and left there whilst everyone eats. No supper, basically.... I can see why you don't eat out.

Seems to be mainly at the table. Having said that, he behaved really well at the table each time today and ate everything that was put in front of him! There was only one slight wobble and I tried MmeRedWhiteandBlueberry advice of using facial expressions instead of speaking and though he looked slightly confused initially, it worked!!
He has missed his dinner before now and been taken straight up to bed, but as he's a skinny malink I'm a bit worried about him missing too many meals, though I suppose he'll eat if he's hungry! Thanks for all of the advice everyone and I'll keep trying it!

Yes, perfecting A Look helps, I think. DD caves at a held gaze and raised eyebrow. Mostly.

yes love my gazes and the simple smils and winks - gonna learn the raised eyebrow tho just in case I ever need it