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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Importance of a bedtime routine at 6 weeks

21 replies

sunndydays · 31/07/2010 21:50

I really want to get DD into a good bedtime routine; bath, bottle and bed. I have been doing this for about a week now and have her in bed by seven and she stays in the bedroom until 7 the next morning. I think a bedtime routine is important and the earlier you start it the easier it will be to get her into bed when she is older, however she seems to be really awake from 7-9pm and I feel guilt for leaving her in the bedroom. Am I being cruel, she is only 6 weeks? Should I keep her up an extra couple of hours or will she sort her self out? Perhaps I am just over thinking the whole thing! Would be grateful for your opinions TIA

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ib · 31/07/2010 21:52

Are you leaving her on her own awake for two hours?

yousaidit · 31/07/2010 21:53

I had dc2 in bedtime routine at 2 weeks, not because of wanting to be an uber mum or anything, but dh's paternity leave finished and i needed to know i could cope with bathing and bedding 2 dcs! dc2 was fine, sometimes awake, and still now, but he looks at stars on ceiling (yes, the standard feature of a toddler's bedroom) and a nice soothing muted lights and soothing noice cot toy thing. if your dc is awake but not crying for you and setled, i'd say great, u did this with my dc's and they are both fab at d=bedtime (touch wood)!

emkana · 31/07/2010 21:53

Absolutely no need at all to do this at this young age. Just enjoy her, keep her up with you and put her to bed later. Plenty of time for bedtime routines when she's older.

winnybella · 31/07/2010 21:54

I think the general idea of bath, feed and bed is a sound one and it makes sense to try to enforce it, but not if your baby is unhappy with it. 6 weeks is still tiny. Is your dd crying for these two hours? I wouldn't leave her then, it's cruel, sorry. Try maybe putting her to bed a bit later- what's important now is that you get a semblance of routine that can become stricter with time iyswim.

Original poster

sunndydays · 31/07/2010 21:56

She doesn't cry she just lays there looking around, sometimes she will be asleep in less than an hour but others she will be awake for quite a while

OP posts:

ISNT · 31/07/2010 21:58

Depends whether she's crying or not really.

If she's crying, not fine, if she's not crying, then fine.

I am quite hot on bedtimes but I don't think we did the "bed at 7" thing until we'd got past the 2hourly feeding and baby not having a clue what's what stage.

moonminmama · 31/07/2010 22:03

IMO if she isn't unhappy I would leave her. I unlike most people on her ( not at all saying I am right for one minute) am uber strict on routine. I have followed a strict routine (as much as possible at least) from day 1. My ds is now almost 4. He has always gone to bed no trouble and sleeps very well.

It may be for selfish reasons that dh and I have been so strict, in that we want our time when ds has gone to bed, which I think is important. Go with your gut feeling. I totally agree that you should be making the most of her, but if she is settled and not upset by being left alone then leave her.

notyummy · 31/07/2010 22:03

Well, I also think there is nothing wrong with trying a routine this early. If it suits you and your baby is not upset then why not? We did it from around 3 weeks, but never left dd to cry. Would sit in her room cuddling her if unsettled; just wanted to start the v early stages of 'oh it's dark and I have had my bath and a feed- must be sleep time.'. Took about 3 weeks before she would settle quite quickly and fall asleep.

mrswill · 31/07/2010 22:04

I like a good bedtime routine for children and started at 3 weeks old with my DD, and she has always been a brilliant sleeper. She was always knackered when she went down though, and went straight to sleep. Obviously your baby is not distressed as she would be crying.

Having your baby wideawake for an hour or so in a room on her own, does seem as if she is going to be missing out on stimulation from you, and you are missing out on that wakeful time too and getting to know her and having special time together. Could you not do her bedtime routine a little later around 8 ish, so she still benefits from a bedtime routine, but also is having some kind of stimulation and human company during her wakeful hours.

cktwo · 31/07/2010 22:08

If she's not crying then it's not a bad thing she's awake. I'm a great believer in a bedtime routine as early as possible otherwise babies take forever figuring out what is day and night. I did it with my children who are now 5 & 3 and bedtime is a doddle.

ISNT · 31/07/2010 22:08

If your baby isn't crying then I'd leave her too TBH.

littlemisslozza · 31/07/2010 22:11

I agree that getting the baby used to a routine at bedtime does pay off in the long run, but with both of my DCs it wasn't at 7pm until they were about 3-4 months old. This is because, as you have said, they were wide awake in the early evening so it was nice for DH to play with the baby for a while and it seemed a shame to try to get them to sleep when they were enjoying time with us - particularly DS2 as DS1 would be asleep so we could enjoy some quality 'baby time'. Bedtime routine doesn't have to include a bath at this age either, if it seems too late for that.
I found that bedtime naturally moved earlier over the course of a few weeks and by 3 months old DS2 was in bed at 7pm too, although he still woke for night feeds for quite a while afterwards.

ISNT · 31/07/2010 22:18

There comes an age as well where they actually start rubbing their eyes when they are tired, exactly like in a cartoon. i never knew that anyone really did that!

Anyway DD1 rubbed eyes at 7pm and DD2 rubbed eyes at 6.30 and so that's when they went down. it starts at about 4 months if my memory serves me right Pays well to put them for a nap at the first hint of an eye rub as well IME

Depends on how you want to do things of course, and they're all different, but that has worked well for us.

jaffacake2 · 31/07/2010 22:18

It seems sad that your babys wakeful time is on her own. She may not be crying but dont you think she might like to be with someone considering at her age she is probably sleeping for long periods over 24 hrs.
Is the routine so she fits in with your schedule ? Or do you think she gains from it?

Valpollicella · 31/07/2010 22:18

I think 6 wo is too early, but if you feel its working for you, then fine, as long as she's not grizzling/crying for the 2 hours.

narmada · 31/07/2010 22:20

Hmm, honestly? I wouldn't leave a 6-week old baby for two hours on her own in a room awake. It just would feel very odd to me.

Pinner35 · 31/07/2010 22:23

I agree with jaffacake2, it does seem a little bit sad.

lifeas3plus1 · 01/08/2010 11:31

I had a bedtime routine for ds at that age. The difference for me is I started it at 9pm so he was in bed for 9.30 pm. He wouldn't sleep till this time anyway so it worked for us, then gradually, as he started getting older, he started getting tired earlier so every few day's I started his bedtime routine 15 mins earlier until he was going down at 7pm and goiNg straight to sleep.

He is 15 months now and has absolutely no problems going to bed!

Maybe you could try that?

sonsmum · 01/08/2010 11:59

i didn't bother with a particular bedtime routine until approx 3 months......DS now 3 and is no bother at all at bedtimes.....
At 6 weeks.....just do what feels right for you, but personally i think so much nicer to keep downstairs with you for cuddles etc....(they grow up so quickly!) then put to bed at late night feed

Octaviapink · 01/08/2010 16:03

Got to say, I think routines are overrated. We had a pretty set routine for dd for a while, but it turned out that missing out bits of it made no difference at all, so now it's whatever suits what's going on (that's not to say she isn't always in bed by a certain time though - she is, but the pre-bed bit varies). I agree with those who've said 6 weeks is quite early to be instituting a routine though - it won't do any harm if you want to keep dd downstairs with you for evening cuddles.

AngelDog · 02/08/2010 14:19

I think there's nothing wrong with having a bedtime routine with a young baby, but it isn't until about 4 months + that they start to be able to remember that certain things happening (bedtime routine) means that something else (going to sleep) comes next. If a routine helps you at this stage, fine, but it won't help your baby yet IYSWIM.

Most young babies start off with a naturally late bedtime and there's not a lot you can do to get them to go to sleep for the night earlier. As they get older, the natural bedtime gets gradually earlier. By 4 months or so, most have moved to an earlier bedtime (between 6 & 8pm), although it takes longer for some, especially colicky babies.

Personally I'd keep her with you while she's awake; it will be soon enough that she starts wanting to go to bed earlier.

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