bad dreams and bed wetting

[chicagomum]

not sure if this should be posted in potty training section or here but here goes. Last week as some of you may have read dd, ds and myself where hit by a truck whilst crossing a road, ds was strapped in the pushchair which was over turned (he's absolutely fine) i was fine too but dd (3.5 years) was standing on the buggy borad and was thrown into the road she suffered scraps and extensive bruises but nothing worse (physically that is) the prob is every night since then sshe has had bad dreams and has wet the bed after being dry for about 4-5 months. should i put er back into nappys until it settles or will this make it worse. her behaviour is clearly to do with the trauma of the incident, does anyone have any sage words on the best way to help her get over this

anyone?

Message withdrawn

trying again to see if anyones around today, dd woke up screaming at 3 am and once again had wet the bed

guess i'm just invisible then (or not as interesting as a church going prostitute nanny with a part time job in a key cutting store

I'm paying attention chicagomum, and my dd is wetting the bed too. She's 7 and has been bullied.

I'd go down the towel under the sheet/waterproof sheet before putting her into nappies (she might see that as 'punishment' & it could make it worse)

Just keep reassuring her that it doesn't matter and that it isn't important.

I'm sure she will calm down as long as you don't react.....

Good luck and sorry to hear of your accident

thanks katymac, i was beginning to wonder if what i percieve as a problem is irrelevant to others and get a bit peed off when such trivia is given so much time and energy. She already has a plastic sheet under her sheet as its only been a few months since she's been fully potty trained, and i agree its probably confusing to put her back into nappies, i'm sure once she gets over the trauma of the event things will improve. God i could just smack the guy that did this, she keeps sayins why did the truck hit me when i was being safe and crossing the road as i should, and she's still flinching and worrying every time we cross a road poor little mite

Instead of dreamfeeding Chicagomum, try a "dreamwee" - especially easy if you still have a potty to hand. It may just empty her bladder before the bad dreams - one less thing to contend with.

I used to have a weak bladder (possibly weaker now since having a baby!) and I remember my mum being cross with me and smacking when I wet the bed me to this day until she took me to the doctors and found out it was normal - and I would have been about 3. So echoing what Katymac says about not "reacting" to the bedwetting at all - maintain its "fine and don't worry" approach - even when it is 3 in the morning and you're knackered and changing the bedding!!

So, the "dreamwee" comes from experience, but not as a mother!! It did work to a greater extent for all the obvious reasons!

In terms of the actual trauma, am I making an assumption that you live in Chicago? There is free RTA counselling over here, but I know nothing about over there.

DH also does this he calls it lifting her

He puts her on the loo while she is asleep

I don't think it works cos when he doesn't she still wees - but it saves on the washing

yes, quite agree its not a solution Katymac. Its just a bladder-emptying exercise!

I hope chicagomum's little one is able to calm down in the near future - I'm sure I would be having nightmares if it happened to me (and I'm not 3.5)

I know - must be absolutely awful. My work is related to accidents, and alot of time off work after RTA's is due to stress

your poor dd chicagomum

I can't really advise from experience as my ds is still a baby, but if the accident was only last week it must be pretty fresh in her mind - I'm sure it'll start fading over the next few weeks though. Does she want to talk about it much?

yes carolinamoon she is constantly talking about it (particularly when we are out) her most common question is will it happen again, i keep telling her it won't and she asks me to promise, but how can i when i told her if she didn't crossed safely with a grown up or ran into the road etc she could get hurt by a car and when she did as she was told she still got hurt

thanks katymac and serah for your advise too

maybe you can use it Chicagomum - along the lines of even when you are crossing safely there are some bad people out there that don't care that you are crossing safely so even when you are crossing safely you have to take extra care and look all of the time. You could say that mummy didn't know this until last week, but now will be looking out for (DD) all the time even when it seems to be safe to cross?

I'm just thinking on the hoof btw

maybe you can use it Chicagomum - along the lines of even when you are crossing safely there are some bad people out there that don't care that you are crossing safely so even when you are crossing safely you have to take extra care and look all of the time. You could say that mummy didn't know this until last week, but now will be looking out for (DD) all the time even when it seems to be safe to cross?

I'm just thinking on the hoof btw

maybe you can use it Chicagomum - along the lines of even when you are crossing safely there are some bad people out there that don't care that you are crossing safely so even when you are crossing safely you have to take extra care and look all of the time. You could say that mummy didn't know this until last week, but now will be looking out for (DD) all the time even when it seems to be safe to cross?

I'm just thinking on the hoof btw

hmmm. tell you what. I'll post that 3 times for effect. Damn my twitchy fingers!!

OMG you poor things

well it seems obviouse that it IS due to being hit by the truck

i too would definitely NOT go back to nappies, yet!

Just a double layer of bed sheets etc to make the mid night changes as stress free as poss, so waterproof sheet, under sheet, bed mat, another under sheet, so wet mat and sheet can be whipped of quick, with another nice dry one all ready in place

im sure lots of comfort and reassurance will help, and hopefully in time she will start to feel better.... maybe if it goes on for several weeks, you could suggest it and gae her reaction.... but if she doesnt want to dont push it.... being hit by a truck is a big enough 'punishment' already (not that she deserves to be o0punsihed!)

BTW im sure she is genuinely terrified... when i was 16 i was hit at 50mph by a car... i was very badly hurt (nearly died, then nearly had leg amupated, but thank god Drs managed to fix me!)

i remember for months afterwards i was terrified to cross roads.... i would wait for AGES until there were no cars at all even in the distance on the horizon... sometimes cars would see me on crutches and stop to let me pass... but i just could NOT walk in front of even a stationary car... so they would stop and 'wave' me across (seing my crutches).... and i would freeze with fright and not go!!!

even now im cautious and never take risks.

be patient with her! Im sure she will find walking even on the pavement VERY frightening for a long time, and even now (9 year later) if a lorry or something goes past fast and close to the pavement it can still make me jump.

I think it sounds as if she's been quite traumatised by the accident, and it's not really surprising that she's having bad dreams and wetting the bed.

Have you asked her whether she would prefer to have a nappy on or not? I would go with what she is more comfortable with at the moment, and if she would rather not go back to nappies then use a bed protector for a while until she settles.

I wonder if she would benefit from talking to someone about how she's feeling? Perhaps some kind of gentle family counselling or something would help her. Do you have the equivalent of our health visitors over there? Someone like that might be worth having a chat to.

Poor little soul; I really hope she feels more settled soon.