How many different ways have I tried to say....STOP HITTING & PUSHING other kids!!???!!!

[netmommy]

My 21m DS...my first and only child at the mo. He has been influenced by another child at the CM some 4-5 months ago and picked up the habit of hitting and pushing other kids of his age...even if it is to say hello!!
I am just tired of literally toddling behind him to make sure he isnt getting violent. Sometimes, he hits just without a reason. He is an angel with ppl he knows!! But given a playgroup or some new friends home...he kicks up!!!Please say I am not alone...and any tips please...........PS: I dont shout back, tried to confront, tried naughty step(although he is small to understand!)

Remove remove remove.

He's too young to understand the naughty step, he's too young to care that after he has pushed someone you talk at him, just pick him up and take him to sit down with you.

you are not alone, dd did this for a long time and even now at nearly 4 still gets aggressive.

Suspend planned contact with other kids for a while then gradually re introduce it save yourself and your dc a lot of stress, kids this age don't actually need to socialise.

Agree with what they ^ said.

Yes, too young to have been influenced by another child, it's just a normal phase.
Afraid you just have to continue to toddle along beside him and lift him out of the way if necessary.

There is not much you can do, but you should say no each time you remove him from the situation, which I am sure you do. He will grow out of it!

So is removing from the situation the best solution? Are there any alternative methods? My LO is exactly the same and the "pushing" thing is getting embarrassing! I try getting down to his level and stating that pushing is wrong and he says sorry by cuddling his friend but then pushes again 2 minutes later.

He is also 21 mths. Also when do they get the concept of sharing? My LO will often want a toy that someone else is playing with and will snatch and grad it from another child and I have trouble getting him to give it back. I persevere but he can be a right monkey. Are there any suggestion on how to deal with this too?

Sorry for hijacking, I was looking on here for answers rather than to start a new post!

My DS was exactly the same at about that age. Tried naughty step etc but he just didn't get it. Best thing I think was a combination of removing him from the situation and telling him it's wrong.

He is 2 yrs 4 months now and seems to have completely grown out of it so there is hope!

Both mine did it and the only thing I found worked was to lift them up to my level and very sternly say NO PUSHING/HITTING/BITING etc. then put them down and give attention to the little one they hit/bit/kicked.
Its also really important to praise and give lots of attention when they are playing nicely.
It took DS2 about a month to get it DS1 was a bit longer 2-3 months.
I also think too little for naughty step.

I disagree with not understanding the naughty step- my 22 mo understands EVERYTHING and definitely knows not to push etc. Of course he still does it! However, at home if he is naughty he gets a warning and if he continues he goes in an empty playpen for 2 minutes. If we are out and about, the same principal applies but he gets strapped into his pushchair for two minutes (although with aggressive behaviour there is no warning, he goes straight in).

It works for us and he now rarely goes in the pushchair/playpen.

This is a normal stage of development and not a habit picked up from another child.
If your child hits another child, then say gently but firmly "No hitting, it's not nice" Then ignore your child and give all your attention to the child who has been hit. Go over the top with concern. This method does work.
You also need to praise your child when he is playing nicely and not hitting.
That way he learns that he gets your attention by being well-behaved and not by being badly-behaved.

Thanks for all your comments!! Will definitely trial and error all...

I'd agree with the advice about giving all your attention to the injured child.

I remember being at a toddler group with my eldest and seeing a child being attacked by another. The Mum of the attacker (for want of a better word!) ran over shouting 'NO', she then scouped up the victim and made a big fuss of her and walked off with her, totally ignoring her son. Watching as an outsider, it was clear the message was getting through by the look on her sons face.
I remember being very impressed with the way she handled the situation.