Oh help, I don't know what to do!

[goandshowdaddy]

Started a thread on here last night about DS (2.2) moving to a bed from a cotbed. I'm really struggling with how to deal with it as he's just not settling. He used to go down no problem, we'd just put him in his cot (after bath, stories etc) and walk out and he'd chat to himself for a while before going to sleep.

Now, since Sunday night (when we first made the change to the bed) he is jumping up and down out of bed and won't settle unless I'm sat there in the room with him. I really don't want to start all that malarkey with him but no idea what else to do (except leave him to scream and cry which is what he's currently doing ).

Last night he got out of bed at 2am and, after half an hour of putting him back in his bed, I resorted to shutting his door (which he can't open) and leaving him to cry himself back to sleep. This really doesn't feel right but I've no idea what else to do.

What should I do? Go up and sit with him till he falls asleep? Leave him to cry it out? Oh I hate this!

My ds went through this at a similar age and the transfer out of cot seemed to be a flash point. We did the following:

1. Bought a bed rail which made climbing out a bit more difficult although not impossible

2. When he cried I sat with him until he was calm then went and stood outside the door, doop open. He then cried and I just carried on saying "it's ok baby I'm still here" etc. until he was calm again. Then I closed the door very, very slowly. If he cried I opened it again. Eventually I would be standing outside his closed door where I would wait for 5 mins or so. If he got upset again I'dopen the door, start again.

Took bloody ages but it worked. It avoided him holding us hostage in there but also we didn't leave him to cry.

I wouldn't leave him to cry it out.

Thanks wasabipeanut,

That's exactly it - it feels like I'm keeping him hostage if I shut the door but DH can't see the problem. Also, he thinks it'll help if DS wakes in the night - he won't be able to get out so will just have to get back in bed. Not sure how to argue that one?

DS has gone quiet so I went upstairs to check on him and he's lying in bed but still awake. Just went out again and I think I can now hear him snoring. Feel bad for leaving him to cry.

Thanks for the tip - I will try the staying by the door thing tomorrow night.

it's a very difficult thing, but I'd do tiny steps...

falling asleep with you in the room,
falling asleep with you by the door,
" door open
" door half closed
" door nearly shut
" door shut.

there is something about shutting the door that feels horribly final, especially when they are too small to open it themselves. I would feel bad too. With DD we did it very slowly but were very firm.

We also used the 3 strike rule with going back to bed if she woke:
first time out of bed hugs and asking what's wrong, deal with it, settle,
second time out of bed, say back to bed and settle
third time no speaking no hugs just led back to bed and continue with that. When they are getting nothing out of it they will get the picture, but you need to make sure nothing is wrong first.

good luck!... this too will pass...

Thanks, yes I much prefer the tiny steps route. Feels kinder - he's still only a baby!

I can manage the 3 strike rule too - he's got to know I mean business!

hey we just went through this, good bed sleeper went a bit nuts after having chicken pox. On advice from his nursery teacher, we sat outside the (open) door, and every time he appeared gave a "back to bed" command, firm but nice, no emotion, no negotiation. Thought it would take forever, took 2 nights and now he's happy as again and has stopped wandering in the night. We also did a trial of locking him in and leaving him to cry, again DH thought this would work! and tellingly now the only thing he occasionally says is "don't shut the door mummy!"

We also bought one of those turning night light things, space theme, and before I leave I say "shall we watch the astronaut...." and wait a few rotations with him.

Apparently consistency is absolutely key. Good luck!