Is he too young for his age?

[OrmRenewed]

Is it odd for a child of 7 to be still pretending to be an animal a lot of the time - Running around on all 4s being a dinosaur for example. To still want me to hold his hand and take him into the classroom? To still cuddle up to me in the cinema? To be reluctant to play with new children? To not want to play 'grown-up' games like Ben-10 and still be fascinated by Scooby Doo and dinosaurs? He doesn't like fighting games at all.

He is way behind the class with maths and science although the school has been fantastic at addressing his literacy and he is now on target with that. They are doing the same with maths now and we are helping. Everyone tells me what a bright little boy he is, so fascinated with everything!

He has odd behavioural issues, nothing too serious, that I have mentioned on here before now, but I am beginning to notice that he seems younger in his behaviour and interests than other boys of his age. It's almost as if he hasn't moved on much since he started school.

?

I don't think the Scooby Doo and dinosaurs sounds odd at all. The taking into the classroom bit seems unusual to me, as my 7yo would not under any circumstances let me take him into the classroom, he would be embarrassed.

I don't think it is anything to worry about though. He may be just taking a little longer to grow up.

Thanks eglu.

I think maybe I wondered if it might be further evidence of mild aspergers - I have my suspicions that he is on the spectrum.

My 7 yo DS Doesnt like Ben10 or fighting games. Still would like a cuddle in the cinema and always jumps on my lap for a cuddle at home. Still likes to hold hands, but not usually in front of his friends.

He enjoys toys such as playmobil and lego, but also happy plays with his younger sisters toys including Dress up shoes and dolls .

I dont have any concerns about him though. He is doing well at school and he acts more grown up in froint of his friends.

Your DS sounds like a lovely lad.

Hi, OrmRenewed,

My ds1 is a lot like this, too, although extremely advanced at literacy and maths. It won't be much reassurance for you, though, as he is possibly mildly on the spectrum, too. He definitely makes use of his high intelligence to make up for the limitations in his motor skills and social skills - you can see all aspects of his development are approached from a very intellectual point of view! It does make him a bit anxious/prone to viewing other children as a threat rather than a potential playmate. But at other times he is relaxed, funny, flexible and just like a totally normal little 6-year old - just only when he is totally within his comfort zone. He certainly has no interest in Ben 10 or older children's interests - still loves CBeebies.

I would be interested to see what other people say, therefore.

From just what you have posted in this message, though, I would say that your ds would not be classified as at all odd or unusual for a young-for-his-age 7-year old, but if this is part of a whole list of concerns that you have, it might be viewed differently.

Sorry, I'm another one with a DS with AS and he is also young for his age, in wanting to be with me, enjoying characters that his contemporaries have grown out of etc. I read somewhere that children with AS have an emotional age about 2/3 of their chronological age, which has always sounded right for DS.

It's by no means a diagnostic criteria of AS though. I assumed before DS was dxd that it was actually because he was an only child and didn't have an older sibling to lead the way into more mature interests.

Thanks everyone.

Bit of a dripfeed here I'm afraid he also has an obsession with order - collecting things together by some criteria all his own, doing things in the right order, doing things exactly the way they were done before, refusing to compromise, blind refusal to listen to 'reason'. And going into total meltdown when his 'order' is disrupted. Not always admittedly - the total meltdown can be avoided as long as he's not overtired and careful negotiation is embarked upon. But it's hard work. He also loves rules - his own and other people's and is paranoid about breaking them.

Reading this thread with interest, as many of the traits you all describe resonate here- ds1 is only 4 and hasn't started school yet, but I often wonder about possible AS. He's v bright and cheerful - precocious with literacy and numeracy like your ds rabbitstew and v popular with his teachers at preschool- but likewise totally uninterested in the usual baddies/ goodies play of his peers, or in fact in much imaginative play at all. He's v affectionate towards me- regularly shouts out "I love you mummy" in inappropriate social contexts eg from stage in school concert (v cute of course!). His language is advanced in many ways but often convoluted with a sing-song speech pattern; he's also fussy about always sitting in the same place, doing things in order etc...

What are others' views on seeking diagnosis? If they're high functioning, happy on themselves and managing in social situations is there any point in labelling? ormrenewood - I'd never made the connection between slightly immature/ clingy behaviours and AS. In fact I'd been viewing ds's attachment to me as evidence that he probably wasn't on the spectrum. Interesting.

Gosh he just sounds like a nice little boy to me, is there really a syndrome for not liking fighting and wanting a cuddle in the cinema, if so I hope my boy has it.

He is a nice little boy most of the time. But the downsides are his meltdowns and his fear of deviating from his norms.

He sounds well within the normal spectrum, imvho, Orm. ScoobyDoo is not babyish, lots of 7-8yos love it still, though they might not admit it in public !

My 6yo DS (no diagnosable SN) is very much more immature than you describe but no good school results to compensate for it, alas.

Well I thank his teacher for that ragged. They have worked really hard to get his literacy up to scratch. Now another mountain to climb with numeracy.

He may well be mildly on the spectrum. But some would say lots of people are.

If he is it is worth looking into a DX so you know ways to help him better, if you think he needs support IMO.

Ds will be 8 yo in October. He is doing v. well at school and is probably one of the brighest. He is popular amongst his peers. He still holds my hand walking to school (his choice) and hugs/kisses me right outside the class, sits next to me on the sofa and cuddles me. He cries v. easily as he is likes being in charge and gets frustrated if things don't go to plan - a control freak? He doesn't like wrestling games or Ben 10 but loves cars, cars, cars and computers. I worry he'll get called names for crying so easily but I think he's getting a grip on it lately.

I don't worry about the hand-holding as such - it's just that he feels the need to be close to me because he is nervous. I ahve a 13yr old who holds my hand and gives me kisses in public too

Hi, OrmRenewed.

I think anxiety is the key, here - maybe he is a rather anxious little boy in need of more reassurance than others, but whilst anxiety is frequently a problem for children with aspergers, it also occurs in otherwise completely NT children. And sometimes anxiety can cause symptoms similar to those seen in ASDs, as repetitive activities and controlling behaviours are a way of making an anxiety-making environment less stressful even in NT people. In other words, he may be slightly more anxious than most because he is mildly on the spectrum, so finds every day life more stressful than most for that reason, or it may be because of some other mild issues with which he could do with some help or understanding (eg mild specific learning disability in an otherwise bright child who therefore is acutely aware of his deficits), or it may simply be he is naturally a more anxious sort of person who notices that he struggles a bit more than others in his class with, eg, literacy, and this affects his self-confidence, even though he is going to catch up as he matures.

In other words, only you can decide whether his behaviour is that of a boy who is a little bit young for his age and occasionally struggling to keep up, or that of a boy who has something a bit more than that going on, for which you need to seek professional help. There's no right answer here - you have to go with how you feel about it. You are his mother, so you notice the details within the big picture that other people are not so sensitive to, and the details make all the difference to idenitifying the reasons behind his behaviour. Otherwise translated as you have to go with your instincts on this!