Come wise Mumsnetters & help me with my car seat problem!

[DragonMamiCooksWelshCakes]

DD is 22 months and has decided that she WILL NOT sit in her car seat when I ask. She does it immediately with everyone else other than me & puts her arms into the straps, then holds the buckle for them to strap her in properly.

I, on the other hand, get full on screaming, running over the back seat, trying to climb into the boot (putting the luggage net up in the back of my estate has sort of stopped that one) and now she's learned she can cwtch down behing the passenger seat & hide under it. She's actually scared passers by, the screaming is so loud.

I feel like I'm wasting hours of my life in car parks waiting to get on with the rest of my day. I've resorted to ringing DH on a few occasions to get him to tell her to sit down but that's not really solving the problem & is probably reinforcing the fact that she doesn't sit down for Mami.

Please help me out. It's really getting me down now.

Thanks!

Have a break from using the car?

Ask her why she doesn't want to sit in the car seat?

Not using the car's not really an option - she goes to nursery where I work, 30 minutes down the M4. I did wonder if it was the length of journey causing the problem but she's fine when DH does the same journey with her in the mornings & will still throw a fit if we're only going to church (15 minutes on the other side of town, but dual carriageway so not possible to walk).

I've not tried asking her why she doesn't want to sit in it actually. (Stupid DragonMami!) I think that may form the basis of tomorrow's negotiations. She's generally quite good at expressing stuff she doesn't like so this may get somewhere. Or she'll tell me Iggle Piggle's asleep in bed & I need to shush.

Give her something to hold so she can't fight? Tickle her?

Tickling's always a good option. I've stopped giving her stuff to hold as she just uses it as a weapon to clobber me with. Unless I go with paper...

Thanks very much for your suggestions on this. I'm really grateful as the whole thing ahs got completely out of control & is making me doubt my parenting ability.

rice cake?

feather boa

Good thinking.

well, don't let her IN the car unless you are putting her into the seat. that way she can't piss about and hide

She's only in the car when we're actually trying to go somewhere. She gets under the seat by going poker straight when I try to get her into the seat & sort of slithers down under the passenger seat in one fluid movement. (It would be quite impressive if it wasn't so bloody irritating.)

I've also tried explaining that it's DD's special seat & only DD is allowed to sit there, so far to no avail. In fairness, she will sit in the car, but next to her seat rather than in it. Trouble is that she's far too young to not be in a full car seat.

bribery.

smarties at the ready.

sit in your own seat and start eating them yourself and refuse to hand any over "they are only for people in their seats with seatbelts on"

ahhh. i think i would try for a while to ignore it
so, make sure you have plenty of time to get her into the seat.

tell her you're going out in the car and she will be going in her seat. then when you get to the car if she gets out of your grasp and starts pissing about i would just leave her to it

it's probably a great game for her. so if you don't play along it may get boring.
failing that i have to say i would probably be onto the getting quite angry phase!!!

I like your thinking thisisyesterday. Maybe a book in the front seat for DragonMamis to read while they wait for their DiddyDragons to sit down?

Luckily I pick her up from nursery rather than take her in the morning so I don't really have a deadline to work to. It took 25 minutes for her to get into the seat this afternoon. It would have been more bearable with a book for distraction. I've gone past being angry & am now thoroughly bored by the whole palaver.

absolutely. it may help if you are going somewhere really nice too. like the park

how about trying a new toy just for in the car like an ault,pd.htmlscribbler thingy. DS2 also 22 months love his.

that didn't work, try this

here

I had a similar problem with DS1 and the bath and a change of toys really helped, good luck

We were having major tantrums with 2 yo DS when getting in the car recently- not because he didn't want to get in his seat but because he wanted to drive .

Got him a steering wheel thingy which helped a bit. The main thing that does the trick though seems to be bombarding him with distractions so he doesn't get chance to get really worked up- so tickling,raspberries in the neck, talk of park/ chocolate/gong to see bob the builder at the shops all at the same time whilst shoe horning him into his seat. Takes a lot of energy but saves my eardrums.

Meant to say, DH calls it 'shock and awe'

How about arming yourself with some shiny star stickers for people who get into their seats and have their seatbelts done up? If DH was the person who provided the stickers it would send the message that Daddy wants her to sit nicely in her seat regardless of who's driving, "I have these very very special shiny star stickers for people who get into their car seats straightaway and have their seatbelts done up....Mami is going to look after them and will give you one to wear when you get into your carseat like a grown-up girl. When I come home at bedtime I will be really pleased if you and Mummy each have a carseat sticker. I will be very sad if DiddyDragon or Mummy isn't wearing a sticker".

It's bribery but she'll have the satisfaction of being rewarded 3 times over for getting into the seat sensibly; once by positive praise from Mami, twice by being given a tangiable reward (the shiny sticker) and thirdly by Daddy when he spies her shiny sticker and praises her too.

I like these suggestions. I'll buy some stickers tomorrow & give that a go.

I tried the new toys in the car & it got me nowhere. I also tried the book thing & it made things worse as she then tried to climb through the gap between the front seats & join me. (Really don't want to be encouraging that one. Just glad I don't have a standard handbrake that she could have knocked.)

I just keep telling myself that it's probably a phase & eventually she'll grow out of it.

Thanks for all your suggestions, oh wise Mumsnetters.

Update:

I discovered how to get DiddyDragon to cooperate, so thought I'd share in case anyone else found it useful.

I pick her up & try to put her into the car seat in various different incorrect positions. (Upside down, sideways, facing backwards, that sort of thing.) I ask her if DiddyDragons sit in their car seat like this and I get a gleeful "no!" at the top of her voice. I generally do 2 wrong ones before putting her in properly, at which point she shouts "yes!" and gives us both a round of applause. Then she holds her arms out to be strapped in.

:)

Sorted. Wonder what she'll come up with next...