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need some advice on my 14 month dd- not sure what to do?

7 replies

chloebe · 25/07/2010 20:49

hi- I have 2 dd's (2.6yr and 14 months) my eldest has gone through the usual toddler bashing bit but rarely ever had tantrums and i have always managed to explain her frustrations away before they get to tantrum point.
my 14 month is a different kettle of fish, i know she must get frustrated with dd1 but i do my best to play together with them, they go to park, farm playgroups, at least one thing per day so they are very social.

For the last three days dd2 has been getting unexplainable rage. we were at playgroup on fri and for no reason she started getting angry, she smacked me, the floor, the chair, the bike and then some poor unsuspecting child (she has guts this child was at least 4!). I could not work out why, she has been doing it again yesterday and today, but when she smacks she looks at me to make sure i can see what she is doing. I tell her no when she smacks me and loosely holds her hands then put her down but then she just carries on smacking things but looking at me once she has hit each thing.

She had her mmr 10 days ago and I am unsure whether she is teething (she is sleeping and eating fine no obvious discomfort) but she has only got three teeth at the moment so surely some must be on the way!

I just really need some help as fri i laughed off her behaviour but i cried on the way home as I hate that she is that angry and i can't fix it.

Any ideas

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
chloebe · 25/07/2010 20:50

by the way I am a stay at home mom if that makes any difference which it probably doesn't! thought id mention anyway

OP posts:
chloebe · 25/07/2010 21:15

bump

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Marne · 25/07/2010 21:20

I think she's testing the boundies, she's looking at you for a reaction. I would just pick her up and remove her from the situation 9to somewhere boring with nothing she can hit) using only minimal speach and a firm voice.

BosomForAPillow · 25/07/2010 21:26

MMR does take 10 days to react so maybe she just feels really grotty.

chloebe · 25/07/2010 21:29

maybe, its frightening me a bit tho as its a complete personality change, hope its just temporary if mmr is the root.

i love being at home with them, but i am sitting here tonight debating whether i should go on a play date tmrw because of her anger towards anything, people, chairs or inanimate objects!

thanks for your responses tho, its hard to ignore tho as she then just goes crazy and its horrible for my dd1 as she gets worried when dd2 has tantrums

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kalo12 · 25/07/2010 21:31

i remember my ds went through a phase of this at 15 months, last about 6 weeks, i did lots of reminders, 'we don't hit'

Chil1234 · 25/07/2010 21:31

She is looking for a reaction and I think you have to be a lot tougher with that kind of violent/angry behaviour if you're to nip it in the bud. Obviously, she knows it's wrong and is trying to see how far she can push you. Don't be afraid to get physical or express anger because that's the side of you she's trying out.... 'loosely' holding hands and 'laughing it off' are not the right message, I suspect. The right message is 'don't try anything because mummy is the one in charge'.

Agree with removing her very, very firmly from the situation. Meet strength with strength.

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