SHe's pulling her hair out, please help.

[mumblecrumble]

Hi there,
Would appreciate any input

DD is 3 in 4 weeks and has always seemed a happy, boisterous, chatty girl who is into everything.

SHe has recently been 'twirling' her hair round her fingers. We ignored it and kind of subtly distracted her fingers....

But then she got bald patches!!!!!

Popped to hair dresser and cut her a fringe as I wondered if her straggles at the front were annoying her. She has a short bob with a fringe, hair dresser and health visitor/EYP have siad scalp is ok.

Loads of people saw that documentar last week where disturbed people pull their hair out and are telling me I should watch it.

Starting to worry now!

self bump...

I know a few people who have the habit of twirling/fiddling with their hair. I don't think any of them are "disturbed" but just as your DD fiddles with her hair for comfort, my DD pops in a thumb. This is really the same sort of thing, isn't it?

I don't think there is a massive amount you can do about it other than wait for her to grow out of it.

A friend's DD used to do this, when the friend was pregnant with DC2. It was a sign of stress in that case. Is your DD under any stress? Are you pregnant? Has she started nursery/playgroup/left nursery etc etc?

Try and put yourself in her shoes and think about what might be happening that may make her feel anxious.

HTH

My dd1 pulled a huge amount of hair out when dd2 was born, with severe life-threatening operations going on...I didn't discover it until I found a massive amount of hair by the side of the bed. I think it is generally considered a sign of stress, but, correct me if I'm wrong.

In her shoes....

SHe changes nursery in Sept but is really excited and has had tasters and frankly they are with the same staff, in same place as little nursery....

We have a happy homelife... just about break even each month, very happily married....

Hmmm.... think I should take her to the doctor?

MY POOR BABY!!!!

not pregnant..

ANything else?

I'm sure I read an article about this recently, about a girl who didn't even realise they were doing it, and a distant family relative did it for a while too - but always in his sleep.

I don't think its necessarily an indication of stress but think that you should take her to the doctor if she's actually pulling out chunks of hair. I'll see if I can find what it was I was reading....

Hmmm well this article gives it the name of trichotillomania, which is something you could read about.

Hate advising anyone to google though, don't scare yourself will you.

A friends dd did a similar thing at a similar age. She just did it as a comfort thing at night and there was no suggestion of stress. Eventually it got so bad that she had her hair shaved off which was very drastic but worked. She wore pretty head scarfs for a few months. She is now 5 and has lovely thick hair and never started pulling it when it grew back. I hope this story is comforting rather than distressing, my friend and her daughter really have moved on from it.
It may be worth a doctors appointment to see if they have any advice. Is her hair long enough for a french plait?

My niece used to do this, my sister took her to the g.p. There is a condition called trick (i think) and basically it is pulling hair out.

There can be lots of reasons why toddlers do this:
Teething (back molars?)
Developmental cusp (talking?)
Changes in the home or some type of stress.
How is her toiletting?

My sister tried different things:
Put oil on my niece's hair so when she pulled she didn't pull her hair out.
Hats
Distraction techniques.

My niece was a nervous little child and hated not being with mum, so what seems to have worked the most is just keeping her happy and mum brings her everywhere she can. Also my niece improved alo once her speech developed.

It is really upsetting but it can happy with happy normal toddlers and it is not a concrete indicator that they will be excessively emotional in later life.

Google trick/trich and you should find more information. It might just pass.

Can you edit posts? I seem to have loads of spelling mistakes above.

Just wanted to add, my niece had some bald spots when it was at it's worst, but now she is fine and doesn't do it anymore.

Really I think when her speech improved she gradually stopped doing it.

I did this for a couple of years as a child, but was much older (10-12 y). In my case was definitely stress related - mum was v ill (bipolar) at the time, lots of rows between parents, money issues etc. I think that at your daughter's age it's more likely to be a habit/comfort thing, and a matter of distracting her. What about a touchy-feely toy/piece of fabric that may act as an alternative...? Or putting her hair up - tight plait or something she's really proud of, so doesn't want to mess it up etc? HTH x

A doctor I once knew suggested putting a rubber band (or hair elastic) on the wrist and every time the hair-puller felt like pulling hair, was told to ping the elastic band instead. It gives a slight 'shock' which is similar to the sensation felt when pulling a hair out but is also a way of teaching distraction/substitution. Pinging a hair elastic on the wrist is much more socially acceptable than pulling out your own hair!

It might be worth a try although his advice was for a teenager.

Thanks folks, bit more reassuring.

Been thinking about what you've been saying - she is a toddler...

Mollydoggerson

Teething (back molars?) - had a goo look but dentist reckoned they were all settled.

Developmental cusp (talking?)- all seems to be fine, to be honest she seems to have a had a growth spurt and a developmental spurt this last few weks. Sentences getting longer, her understanding really coming on..

Changes in the home or some type of stress - only change is that I'm around a bit more as I';m a teacher and off college now. We've been doing lots of fun stuff and doing tuff together (my holiday indulgance of DD time! - harder work than work!!)

How is her toiletting? - again toiletting came on in leaps and bounds this last week as she now can feel when she wants the toilet and has been out of nappies and night too.

I had wondered if it was a developmental spurt type thing...

We have cut her hair with fringe and discouraging and it seems to be slighly less... though bald patch is quite pronounced... not chunks of hair though and few strands at a time and she seems to be twiddling rather thn pullin it out.

sigh..... all worrying.... hope its just a phase

Hi there @mumblecrumble, I realise it's been 12 years, but I'm wondering how this went for you, as we are dealing with the same!

Hi there @KatyMcGhie ,

WOW! What a blast from the past... Sorry you're dealing with similar... Is it hair pulling?

Well Emily is 16 now and had her first day of college last week.... Her long shiny hair down her back. She's a happy teen, reblossoming after covid and excited about her taste of independence.

Lots of changes over the 13 years since this post... Have appreciated all the mumsnet advice!

I think looking back we used distraction. We did explain that she could not put hair in her mouth... But really it faed away like other phases.

Worrying at the time but yes, all turns out fine.

Photos - Emily age 2 when I wrote original post...

And a few weeks ago on a trip to a lovely place age 16.

She is happy for both pictures to be posed a says... She just likes to twirl her hair.

@mumblecrumble Thanks SOOO much for your reply. I can’t tell you how wonderful it is to hear that it faded away.
How time flies! You have such a beautiful daughter. I hope college goes brilliantly for her, and well done for raising a happy girl!

May I ask, did you find she was an anxious child, generally? Would she say she needed ways to comfort herself. I’m just wanting to make sure we find her comfort if she needs it!
Thanks again!