Crying....do I really have to?

[Fifilottie]

I have no problem bf DD to sleep at bedtimes but her naps in the day are a night mare. I spend about an hour trying to get her to go down for naps. I am not a meany...she is tired and I am not just trying to make her sleep as a routine. When she is genuinely tired she cannot self sooth. I have ried everything. A blanky type comforter...a nap routine(not yet tried dummy), I am really interested in controlled crying experiences. My dd was born early and maybe I have been over protective. Dp thinks we should let her cry to sleep...but does it really work. Need to learn more? Dp thinks I am soft and that I should go out if we need to try controlled crying.

OP - you're doing a great job. Don't forget that your DD will drop daytime naps as she gets older anyway so this becomes less of an issue. If she can sleep in a pushchair or pram, it gives you a lot more flexibility to be out and about.

But to repeat other posters, your DD is way too young for CC. You really need to discuss the risks with your DP - any decision should at least be an informed one.

Don't really have any proper experience of CC but agree with others that there is a difference between that and letting her have a wee whinge after you leave her for a nap.

I discovered by accident that DD would self-settle - I always BF her to sleep and one day she just wasn't having it and it had taken almost an hour. I was desperate for the loo so put her in her cot while I went to the bathroom. She cried and grizzled and I was bracing myself for the next round, then just as I was about to leave the bathroom, all went quiet. That was her zonked out but she prob did cry for ?2 mins or however long I was.

Anyway - I spent the whole time before that happened worrying that she would NEVER self-settle and I would have massive probs having BF her to sleep. She suddenly got the hang of naps and sleeps (can't remember when exactly but def self-settled before she was 12m) and it was great.

As PPs have said, I used to take her out in the pram or car at the time that she should be napping just to try to get her body clock into that routine. It didn't always work and obv sometimes if she was teething or growth spurt etc she would need more feeding, but it did get her generally into more of a structure which I think helped.

So you are not necessarily setting up problems for the future, she is still very little and things take a while - it will all be OK in the end and in the meantime just enjoy the cuddles.

i would try the dummy too, if you are considering cc then its worth a try with the dummy first atleast, i dont know if 5 months will be too old to take it but if she does it could make things much easier

I have extended bf and co slept with 3 - always fed to sleep until about 12-18 mths when as walking/talking kicks in they seem to be able to self settle very quickly and also understand ''I'll be back in a min'' ie that if I leave them them - I will come back.

what I'm trying to say is 5mths is very little and it will get easier

I actually did a bit of gentle pick up put down (baby whisperer) at this age with both of mine if I knew they were tired and weren't settling easily. They soon passed this stage and learnt to settle for naps ok, thank goodness.

My DD had a dummy and DS sucked his thumb, eitherway they needed that comfort to settle for sleep I found. I've had friends find taggy blankets helpful as their child sucked on the tags?

You sound like a great mum btw x

My DS (now 6 months) took a dummy from 4 months and that really aided his ability to self sooth for naps. I rocked/cuddled/fed him asleep with dummy back up for that dodgy moment of transferring him into his cot. Now he's 6 months I leave him to grouse, returning to stroke his head/reinsert dummy. It sometimes takes half an hour but as long as its not full on crying I try to persist! He's a much better napper now. Its hard work though...I think at 5 months you start to feel our baby should be able to sort this out by themselves which isn't really fair. They are still pretty teeny!

when i had my daughter i boobiefed her on demand and it was the worst experience of my life, as she did nothing but feed constantly taking only a little milk each time. when she was about seven months old i decided to try CC crying as i was at the end of my tether and severly sleep deprived. my little girl wasn't left screaming the place down going bright red or anything, i just made her wait 5 minutes extra for a feed when she had ajusted to this change i started to let her wait for 5 minutes again, after a lot of consistency she started to feed less and for longer, i also used this technique when putting her down for a nap. i also used CC with my son, as i wasn't going through the same experience with the boobiefeeding. i say don't knock it until you try it and if at any point you don't like it, stop.