At what point does lack of potty training become worrying?

[Butterpie]

I don't think we are there yet, but DD1 is starting to get raised eyebrows if she wears a nappy in public and people see. (we use knickers when we can, but she wets 5 or 6 times a day and poos in them too, so I don't dare to take her on the bus or wherever in them if it is longer than 15 minutes or so)

She is 3.4yo. She only seems to notice she is wet when she moves, and gets quite upset, but she doesn't seem to know when she is actually doing it, apart from the very odd time, eg if she is stood up, when she will just stand there shouting "I'm weeing!" and getting distressed. I always sit her on the potty after an accident and she is surprised when she hears the wee hitting the potty.

What can I do? Is it back to nappies for a couple of months to avoid traumatising her, or stick at it?

is it possible she has an overactive bladder? it causes someone to suddenly, with no warning, desperately need to pee. I have one, and had huge trouble with wetting myself as a kid, I just had to get used to going to the loo whenever I could/very regularly. it's still an issue now, but I know how to hold on, though can't hold on for very long, just long enough to dash to the loo.
Could you try getting her to sit on a potty/loo every hour or so?

Is it possible to spend a week or two just around the house? That way, you don't have to worry about accidents and they can be sorted easily. Is she happy to sit on the potty? I have found that Potty training time is more stressful on the adults than the child and if you are stressed then she will be stressed. She should have physical bladder control by now, if not, get her checked out by a GP for problems such as diabetes. Once all physical problems are ruled out then speak to your health visitor. Sometimes parental anxiety can transfer onto the dc. If that is the case, put her back into nappies until both you and she are happy to progress. Try not to worry too much. How many 18year olds do you know who are still in nappies.

I'd also suggest spending time in the house nappy-free and with a big heap of clean knickers to go at!! Disposable nappies are quite comfortable, even when wet and children can find they don't notice when they've done something. If you sit her on the potty at frequent intervals... every half an hour or so to start with... and offer lots of praise when something happens then she'll start to recognise the signs and it won't be such a surprise.