Would you tell the other parent the truth about their Dc's behaviour on a playdate??

[claire70]

This is following from another thread where the Mum is appalled by the behaviour of a six year old boy who came to her house for a playdate. She told the boy's mother who didn't believe her.

No one else thought it odd that she had told the mother how ill-behaved her son had been, and I didn't like to hijack her thread, but is it normal? I wouldn't do it unless something very extreme happened, but for all the normal stuff - jumping on beds etc - I just deal with it and tell the mother that it was a pleasure to have her son over (and then avoid inviting him back if the experience was too awful).

I've never put it to the test, but I'd imagine that other mothers don't take too kindly to being told that their darling child is a little terror when not seen through loving eyes.

Would you tell the truth when someone else's child has behaved in a way that you would never accept from your own DC?

I ahd a little boy over last week (6) who got undressed, organised a waterfight in the living room with DS, and then proceeded to throw a box of DS lego down the stairs, then he threw the food on the floor at tea time.

It was a LOOOOOOONG afternoon.

I did tell the parents that the boys had been "bit of a handfull", I think they understood.

BUT, so glad I did not make a big deal out of it,a s when my DS went to their house, he became hyperactive and spent all time at dinner talking about poo and bottoms.

Aaaaaarrrrrrghhhhh......boys!

Claire70 - I kind of take the view that if my children are going to play in other people's houses they need to know that other people's rules apply so it doesn't really matter if the other parent's expectations are higher than mine. If the dcs were told to do/not do something they they should, even if the rules are different at home.

In relation to who I would believe. I would politely accept the other parent's view of it then and there. If the dcs protested their innocence, I would not get drawn into debate until we got home and would then have a full steward's enquiry. I have never had an occassion where another parent has lied to me, although there have been times when they have seen something through very different eyes to the the dcs. I can explain to the dcs how I think the other parent saw it.

I went to pick up my 5 year old DS2 recently. The friend's mother told me that DS2 had pushed his friend off the sofa and the friend had cried and there'd been a bit of a falling out. She told me how she'd dealt with it and they were all friends again.

I certainly wasn't offended about being told.

Ha ha!

We had a little boy round yesterday, and I was a little bit by his behaviour. He wasn't exactly terrible but he was a bit of a pita.

But, yes, I was all smiles and "yes, they had a lovely time" when his dad came to pick him up.

(Honestly, though, this boy is 6 and didn't use a knife and fork to eat and asked me to cut up his fish fingers for him, and stuffed his mouth full of food and kept talking through it - ah, that's better, I can tell on here and no one will be offended).