any 6 yr olds who show no affection ?

[poppy2133]

I have a 6 yr old who never shows affection towards me or his dad. He is bright, funny, playful with us and shows a wide range of other emotions but flatly refuses to say or physically display any affection towards us. I don't remember the last time i had a hug or a kiss - it must be 4 years ago so this is not a new thing but just wondered if there are other's out there like this. I get so envious when I see other children hugging and kissing their mums.

Do you hug him spontaneously? Do you ask for a hug? Do you and his dad hug and kiss each other? When you say 'flatly refuses' does he recoil from physical contact - seem upset by it? Is it more shyness or embarassment? Some children & some families just aren't particularly demonstrative. Doesn't mean they don't love each other.

My dd (5) will never spontaneously hug or kiss any of her family (myself, dh, grandparents) except ds. If we ask though, she'll let us hug/kiss her. I guess spontaneous hugs would be lovely but I'm happy that she'll let me hug her. Dh and family are not particularly 'huggy' people, so maybe that's where she gets it. Like pp, curious as to what happens when you ask your ds for a kiss/hug?

My second DS (aged 5) is very wary about showing affection in public. When I take him to school or visit his school for assembalies and open mornings he ignores me. He doesn't even like to wave goodbye when he goes in! And doesn't want cuddles when he's hurt. Strangely he was a very clingy baby and toddler, so I wonder if he's got that lurking in his memory somewhere and is rebelling against it. My eldest was very independent as a baby/toddler and is now very affectionate. The only time DS2 shows affection is nighttime when he likes to snuggle up for a story. You could try having some time like that - a story, DVD time or just chat where you have to sit close and see if the affection develops from there.