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Behaviour/development

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DD "rocking her bottom" absolutely In.Cessant.Ly.

10 replies

OrangeSpacedust · 20/07/2010 15:46

I know we've had threads like this before, but I think it's usually been with younger children, but I'm getting pretty fed up now. 3.5 year old DD sits and rocks/humps back and forward on the edge of a hard chair for a large part of the day, every day ? not just when she's tired/upset or anything. We've spoken gently about how it's something you do by yourself, in your room, and all that, but it is making absolutely no difference at all. I tell her in advance, when people are coming round to the house, that she shouldn't do it but it never makes the slightest bit of difference, so when they are round it's sooooo obvious, and I'm constantly "accidentally" pushing her chair with my foot, trying to distract her, etc ? but you can't keep her away from a chair all day!

I would be ok with her doing it in front of me/DP and siblings, if she would just stop doing it in front of guests! But her speech totally starts to ramble when she's doing it, and I do get irritated ? it's a bit offputting trying to have a normal conversation with someone pleasuring themselves in front of you! ? so I say things like "I can't hear what you're saying properly when you're rocking" ... but NO difference at all. I'll ask her to please stop, then turn round 10 seconds later and she'll be at it again.

I don't do "punishment" anyway, but I certainly wouldn't want to punish her for something like this ? of course it's normal and gives her nice feelings, and I don't want to give her a complex. But it's doing my head in watching it ALL the time!! She's been doing it more and more often for about the last year.

Any ideas most welcome! Thanks.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
sapphireblue · 20/07/2010 17:04

I think I would just take her off the chair when she starts and tell her if she wants to do that then it's something we do on our own upstairs........

OrangeSpacedust · 20/07/2010 17:11

I do!! And then she either says "alright mummy", then gets back on 5 mins later, or starts howling and howling ... "I don't want to stop!" Sigh.

OP posts:
PixieOnaLeaf · 20/07/2010 17:15

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archstanton · 20/07/2010 17:21

Is is one particular chair? Can that chair be moved at all?

FWIW, I think you're handling it well in that you're not making her feel ashamed etc. Well done. I can imagine it must be very distracting and yes, at 3.5, she needs to start understanding that some things are not appropriate in public.

Sorry, not much help. I have a 4yr old who did it for a while but she was much younger, just turned 2yr I think. We moved house and it stopped. Quite a radical solution though!

OrangeSpacedust · 20/07/2010 17:34

Unfortunately it's not just one chair, no ? any kitchen one or edge of coffee table etc will do! She even claims that she still needs a high chair when we're in coffee shops etc, so she can have a go with the strap ... sheesh! Will try the cushion idea though, Pixie, thanks. Though I think she'll protest loudly and remove it by whatever means possible ...

archstanton, we recently moved as well and it's made not a jot of difference I'm afraid !

OP posts:
Karoleann · 20/07/2010 18:42

Could you put a few pairs of knickers on her, so she can't feel it so much?
I don't have girls, but my son tend to pull his willy a lot especially when hes in pjyamas! Luckily he does respond to "put it away and play later!"

archstanton · 20/07/2010 19:01

Oh
Nothing to add but sympathy!

It is really common with little girls. Any Reception teacher will tell you about what goes on in the beanbags!

If it helps at all, I teach juniors and even the most prolific, ahem, rockers, have long since stopped it (at least in school )by the time they reach Y3!

MaeMobley · 20/07/2010 19:09

My DD is also does it. She is 4 and is going to Reception in September.

Chil1234 · 21/07/2010 13:39

"I don't do "punishment" anyway, but I certainly wouldn't want to punish her for something like this ? of course it's normal and gives her nice feelings, and I don't want to give her a complex."

You wouldn't give her a complex if you told her very firmly to 'stop it, that's not a nice thing to do' every time it starts. Just because it's 'normal' does not make it acceptable. Nose-picking is another 'normal' fun activity that gives kids nice feelings but I bet you're pretty quick to step in and stop that.

Stricnine · 21/07/2010 13:44

If she's that persistent have you checked she's not got thrush or something similar making her itchy - it's hard for them to tell the difference at that age??

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