DS (6) getting to sleep so late (10pm+). Advice on how to establish an earlier, faff-free bedtime?

[MrsSteveBackshall]

Bedtimes with DS (6) seem to have evolved into a right royal pain in the arse.

He isn't being naughty as such - beyond (the I'm assuming usual) faffing about a bit, being excitable, needing to be asked quite a few times to shower, clean teeth, etc. Plus it's lighter in the evening, so he's going to sleep later, which doesn't bother me much provided it's the right side of 9pm.

What's driving me nutty is that within minutes of the light going out, he feels hungry/thirsty/scared/nauseous/needs a poo - and so, despite lights going out at 8.30pm, it can be closer to 10pm before he's asleep, and often later. This has happened four times in the last week. He's getting tired and taking his crankiness out on me. I'm going batty starting my evening so late - by the time I've done the chores, it's my bedtime - except because I want time for myself, I stay up later, and then I get tired and ratty too. Argh! And I don't like my evening interactions within him to be defined by nagging, exasperation and impatience.

DS is a very hot child, so I'm guessing has a turbo metabolism which is why he's hungry a lot. I've tried doing a snack after school and a very late tea, or an early tea and then a supper - and he's still hungry by bedtime. (I think the hunger's genuine BTW - he's not pulling a fast one.) He is also prone to nausea, probably at least once a day. I remember feeling sick a lot as a kid. So again, I'm understanding - up to a point. I'm just losing my patience with it now. It's all taking over our evenings.

So, have any of you any tips for meeting DS's evening needs with compassion, in conjunction with restoring a sensible bedtime (say around 8pm)? Thanks.

Bump ...

I would start the process a lot earlier. Bedtime 7.00-7.30pm and then the messing about might take him to 8.00 pm. Also, a late snack of something like toast with jam and hot milk (lactose + carbohydrate) right before bedtime is a good way to make someone feel more relaxed and sleepy. (NB.. nausea can be symptomatic of low blood-sugars) A shower can be too invigorating for late at night... a relaxing bath might be preferable. Blackout blinds can be very useful for summer. Less light at night and also children tend to sleep in a little later if the sun isn't streaming through curtains. Good luck

Thanks for posting, Chil1234. We already start bedtime at 7pm. Once he's showered (we've been opting for showering because it's quicker than a bath), eaten supper, faffed about a bit, cleaned his teeth, had stories, been to the loo (he goes in the evening and seems to take ages), it's about 8.30pm. The lights go out, and then it's: "I'm hungry/thirsty/scared/feel sick ..." We have black-out blinds, so I don't think light is an issue.

Maybe I need to start bedtime at 6pm, to have him in bed pre-faffing by about 7.30pm. 6pm just seems ridiculously early: only a couple of hours between school and bedtime, to include evening meal as well.

I'd agree that DS seems prone to low blood sugar. I was the same as a child, and even now as an adult, can't go more than a couple of hours between eating, even though we eat good stuff. It seems to be our make-up. If DS's going through a growth spurt on top of this, I suppose his need to eat is going to take over. He's had three suppers on some nights - after his main tea! He's slim and healthy BTW - not piling on the pounds from all the eating. Ah, I don't know. Thanks, though.

There are different issues here, aren't there. Some of it is hunger, maybe, but other parts are attention seeking/ delaying behaviour with which you need to be firm (and probably ignore - like "I'm scared"?). I think if you get the sequence of events more fixed it might help - so supper, shower, teeth, loo, story, lights out. And no messing!