DS2 just won't go to sleep at night

[thirdtimelucky24]

My ds2 is 2 and since dd's birth 8wks ago, just won't settle down at night until about 10pm (he's always in his cot by 7pm). I thought it was just the daylight hours, but even after fitting a black out blind he still won't settle.

I've tried to tire him out by letting him walk to ds1's school and back both trips and cutting his usual 2hr nap down to 1 and half hrs, but that didn't work, just made him more cranky and harder to settle. Tried to keep him up till 8:30 with classic fm on and reading stories but he still didn't settle till 10pm.

Considering he's up by 7/8am every morning, I'm beginning to think he just needs less sleep, but he's always so tired by 6pm. Then I bath him with his brother and get him into his cot with his bottle (we stopped giving him a 2nd and a 3rd..)and put his radio (on classic fm) and new projector lamp on and he settles fine, until his bottle is finished. Then he gets up, throws it at the wall and starts singing, talking, shouting, banging the cot, laughing and just playing generally. God alone knows who/what he thinks he's playing with, must have a great imaginary friend!

He doesn't even cry, unless I go in there and tell him to shut the hell up and stop kicking his cot, so I can't even use controlled crying on him (which at least wears them out!). I just don't understand it. It wouldn't even bother me if it weren't keeping ds1 up and affecting his behaviour at school and also making it very hard to settle dd next door.

My husband does shifts, and at the moment he's on nights and I really am finding it hard to keep sane! I've started him on rescue night remedy tonight, but it's not done a thing, he's still carrying on regardless! I take rescue remedy regularly to keep the temper under control, so i know it works, but it's not doing much for him. If anyone knows anything that could help, I would appreciate it so much!!!

My DD when when my second child was born did this, in fact all her behaviour went pear shaped; more tantrums, more naughtiness, very cheeky and troublesome at bedtime, kicking wall, shaking the cot etc. I too knew she was exahusted though.

I found that the only effective things (apart from getting very cross which made me feel guilty) was more attention, love and affirmation. She also improved when I moved her into a big girls bed. I guess it was harder on her having the new baby, than I thought it would be. The more praise and time I spent with her, the better she became. Also trying to spend a little more time with her at bedtime reading stories and then lying with her for a while in the dark also helped.

I too tried shifting naps, dropping naps, black out blinds etc and nothing worked. In the end I staggered bedtimes, so that baby went to bed earlier by jigging the babies naps and then I had more time for my DD. As for the daytime nap, I decided that I would ignore and not go in and she got bored of the game and accepted the fact she couldn't come out of her room until she'd had a nap. Although when I first changed tack on the daytime nap, sometimes it took her 90 mins to fall asleep, but I knew she was tired, so wouldn't give in

This sounds very rambling on reading through and I hope it makes a little sense? I hope things improve for you soon though x