Help! 9 mo ds feeding problems

[charlieg22]

After three months of weaning I'm beginning to wonder if my 9 mo ds will ever take to his grub. Pretty much every meal has always been a struggle to spoon feed him and finger foods normally end up being squashed/hurled accross the room etc. It seemed last weekend we might be turning the corner but then he was unwell on the Monday and since then things have got worse. He just wont take anything & is now refusing his milk as well. I'm getting worried he'll have negative associations with his highchair/food etc & its leaving me exhausted every day with each mealtime lasting about 1.5 hours for very little/if any result. I'm taking him to the HV next week but to be quite honest they have never been much help in the past so would really appreciate hearing from anyone who has been through anything similar or if anyone has got any advice. Please tell ne there is a light at the end of the tunnel!

My tips - no idea how helpful this may be as they are all different, but its worked for me twice -

Sounds like he's still under the weather, so don't worry about pushing anything until he's well over it.

He's also still relatively little, some kids don't get the hang of it until later, so don't worry overly much.

Definitely don't let mealtimes go over, say, half an hour (unless they are having fun of course). Call it quits after that otherwise you'll drive yourself crazy.

Look at the amount and timing of milk feeds. Concentrate on introducing one meal time at a go, don't even think about 3 mealtimes until one is going quite well. Eg, milk for brekkie, solids lunch (maybe about 11 if hungry by then) and small milk drink after, then milk in the afternoon and tea/bed.

If you're giving water with solids, try not to offer it until at least half way through.

If you think that there might be a negative association with highchair etc (or just stress vibes coming from you), then try for a picnic lunch for a couple of days. Yes it will be messy, but it might relax things a little, and if you're outside it can't get too messy (ha ha, famous last words - I particularly recall my brilliant sardine sandwich picnic idea, everything smelt of fish for days)

What are you feeding him? Does he prefer smoother/lumpier food? Hotter or colder? (both mine like their food almost cold). Sounds like you offer finger food, I would definitely always do this (e.g. to start with some rice cake or organix carrot puff whilst I gave a couple of spoonfuls of mush by subterfuge, later on could just give sandwiches or pasta etc). I imagine you've tried all the permutations though.

If traditional weaning just isn't doing it, maybe just do baby led weaning - give him a few options and don't fret if he doesn't eat them kind of thing. Might take longer to get him eating more, but could be a lot less stressful.

Sorry - most of that probably not very helpful, but I know how stressful it can be to start with so hopefully something helps, if not just the reassurance that it is largely down to them and not you (DD1 was a bit hard, DD2 was a human hoover!) and you can only go at their pace really.

I'm with you on this.

I'm still having problems with my DS 13months. Like you say, we have days that he'll be feeding himself anything we put infront of him and others where he just screams and refuses to eat.

He hasn't eaten anything today but we've put it down to teething. Could this be the case for your DS?

Sorry I'm not much help but I thought I'd let you know that your not on your own.

Tweeze - kids are like that though, some days eat as much as an adult, other days like a sparrow. I know its really frustrating, but they know what they want and need and you need to trust them on that. If you're worried, perhaps keep a food diary and see what he averages out at over a week or so. If its a persistently low amount, then maybe think a bit further, but usually on average they get what they need.

Hi, just wanted to say you are not alone... My 8.5 months old DS2 has driven me to tears many time over the last few months... He literally refused to open his mouth for spoon feeding and likes handling his own food but if I gave him finger food, he would gag and throw everything up... Things seemed to be improving about 3 weeks ago and he was starting to eat... a little. Then he got a really nasty cough a week and a half ago and refused to eat, or drink and it almost drove me demented. When I say refused to drink, he was having only 1-2 oz a feed 4 times a day. This lasted for a whole week and he is already a tiny little thing (he's only a touch over 7kgs... last wednesday, at play group, there was a 5-month-old baby girl who was double his size!). I literally could see the weight falling off him and it was so disheartening as before he fell ill, he was starting to get small rolls of fat around his wrists and that soon disappeared.

He started eating two days ago and hasn't stopped since. This morning, he demolished a small piece of wholemeal toast with butter and jam. I was so surprised (kept looking into his high chair to see if he had dropped it...). It looks like he finally has his first tooth (saw and felt it today!) and it's helping him in managing finger food a lot better! I am hoping this is the start of him eating... I guess some babies do it at their own pace! If you are worried about negative associations with the high chair, can you sit him on the floor and feed him? My DS2 doesn't like the high chair either, he prefers to sit on my leg or on the floor. I know that's not the easiest and can get messy but I rather that than him not eating! My DS2 also definitely prefers finger food... I find that if I give him something to eat with his hands, he will tolerate me spoon-feeding him. Mashed potatoes, rice that is cooked really softly, soft fruit like strawberries are great for that.

Is he gaining weight properly? If he is, try not to worry. I know it's hard, I tell myself not to worry every day but I still do! I HATE weaning with a passion. Both my DSs were difficult to wean but if it makes you feel an better, DS1 who is now 2.5 loves eating most things but vegetables after a difficult start too... Good luck!

Also, I make it a habit to offer him a taste of whatever I give to DS1 and sometimes DS2 surprises me by eating food I wouldn't have given to him otherwise so maybe offer him some food off your own plate when you are eating?

What have you been weaning him with? Home-made food or jars? I never gave jars to DS1 and the times I did, he hated them. But DS2 seems to prefer the jar stuff to begin with... I felt like an awful mother giving jarred stuff to him but gradually wean him off the jars to home-made stuff but he still has jars when we go out and loves them!

I had an absolute nightmare getting ds1 used to food. He was very sensitive to new textures etc.

I know it's easier said than done but I wish I'd just relaxed in the early days! I can't stress this enough. He is still very young and milk is still the main source of food until they're 1. Up until then food is just for tasting realy.

If could go back in time I would tell myself to slow things right down, just let him try what he wants. Encourage him to play with the food and get used to the feel of it even if he doesn't eat any.

Try to do something like chat amongst yourselves or if alone feeding okay some music and sing along, anything to take some of the focus off him and stay relaxed.

It will come together in the end, my ds finally got it and although has a small appetite he sits and eats away now.

Thanks everyone! It helps just to know we are not alone - today was marginally (very marginally) better altho he is getting wise to all our tricks now. I know by the time he's older everything will no doubt be OK but he's a big lad and I look at the size of the pots & pouches of food for his age & think there's no way I could get him to eat a whole one of them - it doesn't help when the other mums from my AN group rave on about how much their DS/DDs eat too. The food diary sounds like a good idea & am just glad I am not alone in HATING weaning too!