I have just given in and put my 3 yr old DS back into a pushchair

[TitsalinaBumSquash]

My DS2 is 3 (4 in November) he has been out of a pushchair for 6 months but is a nightmare outside (see here for back story)

Today was the last straw he was waiting in the Park with my sister and her baby while i nipped into the school to collect our kids, my sister turned her head to see to the baby and DS legged it across a busy main road into the school, luckily he wasnt hurt or kidnapped or anything, my poor sister was in hysterics becuase she thought she had lost him.

Im have had enough, i honestly dont know what to do anymore so i brought a cheap buggy to keep him strapped into.

I know its not a long term solution but its only matter of time before he gets run over or abducted or something.

reins.

I have reins 2 different types once i cath him to put them on he bites, kicks, punches and screams, if i ignore that he layys on the floor.

I cant hold on to him he is freakishly strong i have HMS and he has in the past dislocated my wrist and my fingers i cant run after him my knees are knackered, if i leave him with no sort of restraint he runs into the road or runs into shops ripping things off shelves ect.

The sad thing is at home when its just him and me he is lovely, really funny, polite loving and as good as gold, the model child. Its like Jeckle and Hyde.

i think you've done the right thing
haven't read other thread, but i have a bolter and it's a nightmare!
reins don't work because he just falls to the floor and won't move!

absolutely nothing wrong with using a buggy to keep your child safe imo!

I don't see why it is a bad thing ot have a 3 year old in a pushchair, especially if they are liable to bolt and get in danger

Sounds like he needs a very big field to run around in.Keep him in a buggy, he will have to learn and most importantly keep safe.

Let him lay on the floor, then. stand and stare into space and completely ignore him while he lays on the floor, and praise every movement towards upright ie "Oh, your getting up, good, I'm not sure you're strong enough to get all the way up from there, oh you are, gosh, you are strong " etc.

but get those reins on and never take them off. Put them on before you leave the house. Initial bribery works well - "Shall we go for an ice cream, ds? Reins on then." And STICK to it. No reins, no leaving the house.

What about the reins that come with a backpack, bit more of a harness? He could pack it with a few toys himself before he puts it on and then when he's been good on the reins he gets to play with the toys??

TBF, if you worried about safety I would keep him in pushchair but give small challenges to encourage non bolting behaviour.

dd was out of a pushchair completely at two, but ds3 is 20 months and I can't see it happening....needs must.

You don't have to justify it to anyone either!!

We have the backpack one it doesnt make a difference.

I shall keep trying to give him goals they will have to be little though otherwise he is just not interested.

I do try the staring into space thing but he bites, kicks and has been known to pull my trousers down or he will rugby tackle me.

He really hates the buggy so i might do 'well if you can walk nicely with your riens on then we wont need the buggy.....' then see if i can get the riens things working before moving onto 'well if you can hold Mummys hand while we walk then i can take your riens off'....

On a lighter note, i must remeber to say reins when talking about the backpack harness, my sister reminded me that shouting 'do you want the Strap on?' to a child in the street is going to raise a few eyebrows!

Where I live children of 3 in pushchairs is the norm. Don't worry about it, if he needs to be in one for his safety and your sanity, then you are doing the right thing.

A thought did occur to me - how about a scooter? My two are 2 and 4 and they go everywhere on their mini micro scooters. I wonder if it might give your ds an insentive to stay close and be sensible, if he is allowed to scoot. Plus, a scooter is enough fun by itself, no need to go racing off. Alternatively it might just give him wheels to go faster and further away from you...

Having read your backstory thread, I can't see any reason for you not to use a buggy again for as long as you like. You have enough on your plate without taking on extra battle fronts.

I still let my 6yo go in a buggy sometimes, it just makes it so much easier to get places and I refuse to just jump in the car which is what almost anyone else in my situations would do. I really don't give a Fig what other people think. Some of the myths that get trotted out about letting children over 2 go in a buggy I actually find hilarious now because they are so ill-informed.

I reckon that OP has the sort of child who would not cooperatively use a scooter!

DS2 used to crash his regularly -- so then I had to coax him crying and stropping along (if not actively pulling him along) and I had to carry the heavy scooter; completely useless thing.

My DS was also a real handful when we were out until recently - he's now 6!!

I bought some bright pink reins and would threaten to put them on if he didn't stay close to me - worked a treat..

Thanks for everyones input, (i love Mumsnet!) im feeling a bit better now, i figure im either going to get the cats bum looks becuase he is in a pushchair or im going to get them becuase he is running in the road and biting chunks out of me so i figure im just going to have to suck it up. As long as he is safe that is all that matters.

no point having battles with reins IMO. quite frankly who wants to stop every few minutes and have a battle of wills with a child who has decided to lie down and scream?

not me, that's for sure. buggy, until he can sensibly walk either on reins or holding your hand, or be trusted not to run off

is of course important to allow some time out of buggy when in a situation that isn;t dangerous
we used to go to the park, or I would allow him to walk along the top level of the mall to the ticket machine... just places where you can easily grab them if they make a run for it, but hopefully you can use to teach them to stay close

oh and tbh ds1 still went in the buggy sometimes at 3, and he wasn't even a runner-offer!
but if we walked into town and back he often wanted a snooze on the way home, so went in the pushchair

not sure why there is such a hurry to get them out of buggies to be honest. if they are willing and able to walk, and do so at times that's fine. but nothing wrong with using a buggy when they are tired or at risk of dashing into roads

I have a bolting 2 yr old and I know exactly how you feel. I have to keep him in the pushchair for his own safety. I do have reins and try to take him out every day for a short walk around the block in them so he gets used to them. He often kicks and screams and lays on the floor becuase he doesn't want me to hold on to the handle bit but I just let him and if he doesn't get up we just go home.

My friends ask me why I always keep him in the pushchair and I saw its becuase I want to keep him safe!

• I say not saw!

DS was EXACTLY the same at 3.
He is nearly ok now and I can manage him on a buggy board rather than actually in the buggy (which is a massive improvement). He is nearly 5 though.

it sounds like a good idea to keep him back in the buggy, dont worry what people think ive seen a lot of children 3 yrs+ in buggies, and if he is safer in there that is more important, also just make it easier for yourself.
If he wanted to walk and would walk nicely, yet you insist no he has to go in buggy then it would be U but it sounds necessary for you, so dont feel bad about it

I was ready to say that 3-y-os shouldn't be in a buggy as a matter of principle. But then I read your other thread, and I think you've done the right thing.

One of mine was a bolter and also went in for lying down and kicking and screaming when on reins. I used to take a newspaper to read while he did so, thinking he would soon tire of the lack of attention. It worked a charm.

I don't get the whole implied age limit for buggies things. I chuck dd in a buggy each morning to go to daycare. Yes she can walk that far, but not in the timeline I need to get her there. And I don't think it's fair for make dd2 sit for half an hour in a buggy when we can do the journey in ten min with me pushing them both. Why is a car ok, and a buggy not? As long as they walk sometimes, in your case in parks or somewhere safe.

interesting point there sonic, I like it. "why is a car ok, and a buggy not?"

If I take a book to read whilst mine have a pavement tantrum, when they finally calm down they faff about collecting sticks and role-playing with gravel stones whilst begging for increasing amounts of food and water. They certainly still wouldn't want to cooperatively walk anywhere to arrive anywhere in the amount of time we have.