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DS (3 y 8mo) rejecting DH

5 replies

ifiwereamillionaire · 15/07/2010 14:57

DS has always been attached to my hip but has always loved, (and still does), spending time with DH cuddling on the chair, jumping on his head, making dens etc. For some unknown reason he has recently been refusing to go to/with his dad for simple things like a goodnight kiss or just to sit in the room with him and dd while I get on with something else.

Last night DH came home from work and both kids ran up to give cuddles and were happy playing with him etc while I put out his dinner. At bed time DS started crying when I asked him to go in the livingroom with DH wile I closed the curtains and got PJ's. He said he didn't want to see his dad or give him a goodnight kiss and was pretty huffy. A one off huff is fair enough but he has done this a few times over the last few weeks and I am not quite sure what to do.

DH feels hurt when this happens and DS goes to bed without a kiss. (I know we are adults and should just let it flow over us but it stings) As soon as ds is in bed he starts crying again asking to go down and kiss DH and I say no because I feel it is just him pushing us.

Is this behaviour normal and should I force ds to say goodnight properly or get dh to put him to bed or just say yes when he asks to go downstairs.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
LeninGrad · 15/07/2010 15:01

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LeninGrad · 15/07/2010 15:01

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Just13moreyearstogo · 15/07/2010 15:03

Lots of small children are more attached to mum at this age - dad comes into his own when they're older. I wouldn't worry about it, but to stop it becoming entrenched it might be a good idea for your DH to do the bedtime routine for a while.

ifiwereamillionaire · 15/07/2010 15:52

I can't think of any changes to routines or daily life ...except school holidays which totally suck by the way .

Maybe he is jelous of DD who is now more active (18mo) and affectionate with DH.

Maybe I should encourage dh to independenly/help me put the kids to bed.

He has always encourage ds to help get in the way when he is doing DIY or cutting the grass etc and has been making an effort to have boys only time visiting MIL or recently a trip to the cinema.

The fact that he is happy to play/cuddle/hep every other day then acts up out of the blue makes me think it is attention/pushing boundaries. I don't want to make it into a drama by forcing the issue but I also don't want ds to get into a habit of going back downstairs for kisses once he is in bed.

OP posts:
Sasha02 · 15/07/2010 16:49

I have this!! My DH always used to read a bedtime story to DS (3yrs 9mths) and a couple of weeks ago DS started refusing DH reading, only I can read. He is also happy to play etc with DH but anything practical has to be me, even down to pouring his nighttime glass of milk out! I also have a DD (12mths) and thought it might be showing dominance over me in relation to her...? My DH has also been quite upset over it, I overheard him asking DS why he can't read anymore and DS replied because your not my favourite, poor DH was hurt.

I tried saying DH reads or no story then, after 2 nights of tantrums and no stories he did allow DH to read again. It is starting to settle down so I agree with the others and would have your DH take over the bedtime routine for a bit. Good luck and my sympathies to your DH, I know how much it has upset my DH.

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