7 year old still wetting

[katedan]

I am at the end of my tether. My DS who is 7 wets his pants at school most days. It is not enough that he soaks his trousers but his pants are wet and his trousers (and him) smell. Today his pants were soaked. He wets his shorts at night (again not enough that he needs new sheets) but in the morning his shorts are damp and they smell. He says that it is not his fault and he can't help it but although I am not too concerned by the night wetting the day wetting I think is a result of him leaving it too late and being too engrossed in playing. His 3 year old sister is going the same way with at least 2 wet accidents a day. Where am I going wrong? How do I get to a postion of having realiably dry children! I know the advice is to ignore and it will sort it's self out but I am literally in tears about it and cannot hold my anger with them.

get him checked for a urine infection, just to rule it out. Had the same probs with my DD who is now coming up 7..prob started when she was 3 and a bit. Had several UTI's in a row which then affected her bladder, she was diagnosed with an overactive bladder (bladder empties itself before properly full, chuld can't help it and is often unaware) and is on medication but still regularly wets herself - not gushes, but wet knickers. She's still in pull ups at night. I felt awful as had thought she was just being lazy!

Your son may well be fine but its worth checking out - also look at his diet. Blackcurrant is notorious for irritating little bladders, as are artificial sweeteners eg aspartame and even good old OJ. Maybe try them both on just water and milk for 6 weeks and see if you notice any improvement.

Good luck!

hi there's a really good website that I saw on another thread a while ago - will see if I can find it again.

As a mother of one who was a nightmare to toilet train and another who barely needed training, can I reassure you that it really is the most likely thing that it isn't either of your "fault", it's just the way he's built. Please don't feel giulty yourself and (although I know it's hard) please try not to be angry with him...

I'll go and try and find that website

www.eric.org.uk/

yertiz

and look up some old threads too, lots of people have experience, advice etc, which I hope will make you feel better about it.

hth

better this time!

I heard a theory recently about kids this age having bladders that are too small, which makes them urinate frequently. The idea was to encourage more drinking during the day, to "stretch" the bladder, and encouraging the child to make sure his/her bladder is completely empty after peeing.
My 8 year old has gone through phases of night wetting, and we have used the DriSleeper Bed Wetting alarm - expensive, but after a few weeks' persistence it worked (no idea how!) and we had a whole year with no wetting - woohoo! She went through a spell lately (end of school year tiredness I think, meaning she was too zonked to wake in the night when her bladder was full), and the DriSleeper stopped it after a few weeks again. It's something else to try, as I know how exhausting the constant changing of sheets and washing can be.

For the daytime stuff, have you tried a toilet routine where he goes at the same time every day, It has worked for some of our persistant wetters at pre school, so we take them [ or they go by themselves if independent] After the register 9.45, before snacktime 10.30, the middle of outdoor play 11.30. I know it seems a lot but it does seem to help them to get the message that they can be dry if they go regularly. By the end of the year all but the most persistant are dry and ready to go to Nursery. We have helped train some children with additional needs in this way too but it does rely on adults being persistant and remembering to take/send them because you can garuntee they won't remember themselves.
Sorry a bit long but hope it helps.

Please dont be too hard on your child as it could very well be a medical reason.

My dd who is now nearly 11 was a nightmare she constantly had wet pants, i struggled to get her out of pull up pants in time to start school and nobody took it seroiusly for years. Then aged 9 i demanded that drs have to discuss it with me and concluded she a a problem called voiding she never wets the bed but her brain has problems sending messages when it is time to empty the bladder.My daughter is now old enough to explain that she doesnt feel like she needs the toilet that it just comes on instantly and she has to go immediatley hence she rarely makes it to the toilet. It is a shame and extremely ebarassing for her.

I know your frustrations but please explore the different avenues concering the incontinence and hopefully you will get the help and understanding you need.

And try not to be angry and upset with your child or yourself it is a very frustraiting condition for you and your child {{{{HUGS}}}}x

My 7 Year old is exactly as you describe. Anout a year ago i demamded a referal to the hospital. The consultant was excellent and explained how common the problem is. He had a scan which was normal, but he has been diagnosed with a "twitchy" bladder. Which means he gets very little notice of need a wee. The consultant said he should sit down to wee and stop and hold it for a few seconds half way through and he has been put on a course of meds for 3 months to relax the bladder. A week in we are already seeing some improvemt.

I also heard that this condition can be genentic, so maybe that explains your DD.

Its a very frustrating problem, but it can start to affect self esteem if carrys on. It got to a point with my DS that we just new there was nothing he could do about it as we had tried everthing.

my dd has been wetting herself consistently since she started school, even though prior to starting school she was dry. don't know where things have gone wrong. she was wetting herself at night for a while, but that seems to have stopped for the most part, but she seems to wet herself most days at least once. don't know how to make it stop. I have tried to discuss the problem with her, but she doesn't listen or doesn't want to discuss it. I have previously taken her to the doctors and they have told me that she doesn't have an infection which leads me to think that it may be deliberate or some sort of attention seeking thing. the situation is getting extremely frustrating. any advice anyone? feeling a bit desperate...

ds1 still wets in the day. (and at night). and occasionally soils. some weeks more than occasionally.

he's been on a few different meds, and been through the measuring the wee/ intake routine (as renfrewmum suggested - dd1 was also like this and weirdly it was the continence clinic she went to in renfrew that was very big on measuring wee...)

at the mo, he's not on any meds (from memory he's been on desmo and oxybutinin, and lactulose for soiling) exceot that they are trialling some ritalin type thingy to see if it makes any difference. oh, and the usual star chart routines for using the bathroom at specific times at school.

he's been seeing that paed for a couple of years now. at the most recent appointment dh was told it was all perfectly normal.

yeah. right. all the 9yos come home from school soaking wet through and stinking.

anyway. eric is very good for minor-ish stuff. i've tried to get some responses on their forum a couple of times and had literally nothing back, so not perfect.

at the mo he has to use the bathroom every two hours, and sit on the toilet after breakfast and evening meal. if he sticks to the routine he's better in the day - no change with night time though.

social - the next thing for ds1 is really a cahms referral. apparently there's nothing physically wrong.

he doesn't seem bothered tbh.