3 1/2 year old who just wants to fight

[fruity21]

i have a ds 3 1/2 years old and just recently all he wants to do is physically fight. he wakes up in the morning with 'let's fight mummy' and particularly at the end of the day loves to fling cushions everywhere, most of his play involves one toy hitting another violently across the room. Have a 20 month old dd who is subject to a lot of squashing but not really hitting. If we socialise with older boys he seems to regard them as fair game and will just tackle them but tends not to do it so much with his own friends. He watches lots of tom and jerry, a little ben 10 and other non-fighty stuff. Won't let him watch anything too violent as this feeds his fantasy of being some kind of snarling tiger. I know it's probably fairly normal testosterone fuelled stuff, do you think enrolling him in a judo/martial arts class would help?

Tom and Jerry is to blame

It sounds as if he has heaps of energy and needs an outlet for it. Martial arts might help him channel it into something constructive, but he might enjoy football more, for example, because he can run around and kick things.

having the same problem as you fruity...i'm blaming ben 10 tho as it is all dark and serious and major teenage attitude stuff...and its more 'human' fighting rather than animals doing ridiculous things. mine doesnt like older boys being rough with him but is inflicting it on us and his 22 month old brother...dont know if trying to stop him watching it will work? mmm

it's called testosterone. ttalloo has the right advice.

mme well my ds is a similar age- watches no ben10 and no tom and jerry or other stuff like that and is just the same (does play other things too though, picnics with teddy bears etc)
To me it's not a problem, we play rough and tumble and cushion fighting and he is briefed as to when being like this is not ok- so he can't play monsters with other kids unless they want to too.....As long as he isn't frightening/hurting other kids I don't have a problem with it

i know, some days it gets to me more than others, i do quite like roughousing with him and know it's important to do that with boys if it's in their nature to want to do it(guards against adhd apparently). I suppose i just don't want him being regarded as a rough kid - i think that's a good point that he needs to ask the other child if they want to fight before launching an attack!

my ds used to do this a lot but now he is 4 doesnt so much. dh used to do lots of this with him as ds asked for this and it was good daD Time. if he doesnt do this with sister or peers then he is obviously aware of when behaviour is appropriate and when not. it sounds like he is coming to terms with his id and maybe you just need to say when behaviour is appropriate and not. Ds tried fighting with me but stopped when realised that i was not going to engage in this behaviour.

As ADHD is a diagnosable neurological disorder, I doubt very much that it can be cured or prevented by fighting and roughhousing with little boys.