DD (4) copies other children

[MissM]

My DD is an apparently confident and intelligent girl. But I'm really worried about her self-confidence and potential lack of self-esteem, because she copies other children incessantly. Her older cousin I can understand - she is 6 and DD worships her. But she copies children that she meets in playgrounds, at ballet class, who come to play... She literally follows them wherever they go and wants to do whatever they are doing - it's like she doesn't have a mind of her own. She does this with younger children as well, even her younger brother (although she also bosses him around!)

Am I being over-anxious and is this perfectly normal? I just worry that she isn't secure and confident enough in who she is and feels the need to copy other kids to fit in. It's strange as she appears so confident and able but at times it's like she has no mind of her own at all. I don't notice other kids of her age copying her, and I feel worried because eventually other kids will get irritated by her copying and potentially brush her off.

Any words of wisdom would be very gratefully received!

I'm no expert on this at all, so perhaps someone with better knowledge will be along soon? My DS is 3 and like your DD, a confident and outgoing little boy.

He does a lot of copying and mimicking too, with his nursery peers but tbh it doesn't worry me. It seems to be something that most of the sociable little ones do, to some extent.

I'm sure I've read/heard somewhere that the ability to mimic others is an important skill in making friends, even in adulthood?

I'd say copying is pretty normal behaviour. They start by copying us, their parents, and they move on from there. The desire to 'fit in' often goes with matching behaviour or speech patterns. (Says someone that turned up at a Lancashire primary school with a 'posh' accent but sounded like Jane Horrocks in under a week to avoid being thumped!) I think all you can do is boost her confidence, tell her how great she is as an individual and remind her that she doesn't have to be the same as others.. being different is good too.

Thanks both. I supposed I'm a little anxious because the copying is so blatant - even to the extent that she watches what a child is doing and then does the exact same thing. But I like your suggestion that it's a skill in making friends wubbly!

My dd (5) is the same. Very confident with adults but picks a child and copies their every move! When I ask her what she wants to do she'll say 'whatever so and so is doing'. I have noticed other children get annoyed with her and want to get away from her but although otherwise very emotionally intelligent and caring she just doesn't seem to pick up on those signals!
She does seem to be getting a little bit better though so I'm hoping with lots of positive reinforcement she will grow out of it! It's nice to know she's not the only one!

Your DD sounds just like mine Simbaline. And that's what I'm worried about - other kids getting annoyed with her and trying to get away. What kind of things do you do to try to help her? I'd hate to see other kids rejecting my DD!