14 month baby - suddenly clingy & constant whinging

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Its driving us around the bend! Following me around, pulling at my skirt, crying and demanding. We are pretty strong with him and lay down the law but its exhausting. Unlike DS1 who was so content and easy but when DS2 was born he wanted constant cwtching and attention which we soon sorted out but now he's gone back to being so tough, the constant howling crying, whinging ends us aruging and hubby cant stand it especially with the few precious hours we have together at the weekend, its spoilt by him. He sleeps well at night, very healthy, strong and pretty happy in other ways.

If I touch DS1 he goes nuts and pulls my hand away assume that there is some jelously there too which is a shame as DS1 is so loving and amazing with him.

I have to work from home too and hes constantly at my feet. The funny thing is when I drop him at nursery 2 days a week he's fine, but does follow the carers around.

Any tips welcome!!!

Poor thing. I'm not sure it's reasonable to expect a 14 month-old to amuse himself all day long while you're working at home. Some children are simply more demanding/less confident than others and need more attention. Maybe you have to unbend the 'law' a little and you and your husband give him more tlc on a regular basis? Do more things as a family?

Sounds like he hasn't read your lawbook. He is only 14 months so doesn't really need you to be 'strong', cuddly is probably more what he's after? Could also be seperation anxiety? Maybe his molar teeth? I'd cut him some slack TBH as he can't tell you whats wrong, and at least he sleeps well so it's not round the clock. My DS (11 months) likes constant companionship in the day and regular time together at night too yawn, I don't really take exception to it though as I figure that's what babies do.

It's a phase he is going through, I've seen it refered to as the "constant mothering" phase - and yes, he think that he is the centre of his world, therefore thinks he is the centre of your's as well.

I haven't seen any "fixes", and yes, we do find that the only time we can get things done is after DS (15 months) has gone to bed - if you need more time to get your work done you might need to increase nursery time.

The one thing we do is that I take DS out for a play/walk/explore when I get home from work each day to give DW some time without DS around her feet. That's more for DW's sanity then his benefit. But it depends on the hours your DH works of course.

Of course, once through this phase, the next one I've been told to look forward to is when they learn to talk and start endlessly asking questions!

He gets plenty of love and attention but thinking about it, it does seems like a seperation anxiety. Last night he whinged constantly, not a in-pain cry. Took him ages to calm down and slip off to sleep but an hour or so later he woke again.

I pick him up and we play loads, once down he goes nuts! Constantly following me around and crying.

I dont work constantly, I work on the two days he's at nursery (he seems fine there and doesnt cry when I leave him, he seems very content and they love him there). On the other days I have to do a few hours spaced throughout the day. As we have a very busy business and fighting to survive I dont see how anyone can work less! Cant afford to increase nursery as we have to pay fully. I still have a home to run and another child to care for too so this is getting intolerable.

What I dont want to do is set a bad presedent and end up with a child who rules us (which I seem to read a lot about) I have successfully done the controlled crying and with DS1 who is a super boy we have good strong grounding rules (bed etc) which works a treat.

I assume that he'll just adjust and gradually come to terms that he is an individual. Like I said my 4 yr old is brill with him and will entertain but he'd rather cry and drag on my skirt.

I feel for you - and for him, he's still so little! But it does sound difficult. I think 14 months is classic seperation anxiety time and it'll be particularly difficult for him at bedtime as he knows a seperation is coming. The crying as soon as he's put down sounds spot on too, and the being fine at nursery ties in - he can relax when you aren't around for him to fret over!
For what it's worth children cannot lie - and therefore manipulate until they are two - I know lots of books say they can but that's because the 'them against you' attitude to parenting sells lots of victorian values parenting guru books. If you want a child to be less clingy and demanding in the future, now is the time to give him all the reassurance he craves, so that he builds the self confidence he'll need for the future. At this age you really are his world entire, and he is genuinely terror struck that you can get away from him. It's tiring but it's not put on. He may well have a very different personality to his big brother. Could be shier, less confident, so he may well thrive on a very different approach. But don't worry he'll get there and be every bit as lovely a lad as his sibling. Good luck.