Has anyone read 'Raising Boys'?

[pebblejones]

Has anyone read "Raising Boys: Why Boys are Different - And How to Help Them Become Happy and Well-balanced Men" by Steve Biddulph?
If so, would you recommend it or are there any similar books you can recommend?
My DS is only 14 weeks but I like the idea of being prepared and understanding what needs he is going to have as a boy so I can hopefully meet them.
Pebble

No - I bought it when my ds was about the same age as yours is now, and at 19 months I still haven't got round to reading it. But someone told me it essentially says boys need their Mummys full time until they are 5, and then need a strong male role model. As I have to work I thought it would probably just make me feel even more guilty than I already do, so have avoided it.

I also went off parenting books a bit and decided to wing it.

Sorry - that was no help was it. If someone else thinks it's really good maybe I'll dig it out and have a go at it. I'd forgotten I have it until I saw your post actually.

I started to read it and got so fecked off I wanted to throw it out the nearest window!

apparently, all boys are the same! They can't sit still, or concentrate blah blah blah...

and as pp says, working mums are cruel.

Well, it's just not very realistic or helpful. Of course some boys can't sit still, and neither can some girls. IMHO all children are different and it's not fair to lump 'all boys' and 'all girls' together in their separate camps.

btw, you will know what your DS needs as your son, rather than as A Boy.

Yes, I did read it - can't remember much about it beyond the point that pirateparty makes - as my DS is now 9 I figure I've pretty much done my job and it's time for DH to take charge - I am a strong believer in male role models for boys - if only to make my life easier ! My DS is also very much a 'daddy's boy' and always has been - fortunately my DH is a very, very involved dad. Sorry, not really answering your question ..........

I don't think little girls are as different from boys as Steve Biddulph makes out. His opinons are just opinons.

All children need good male and female role models outside the family. It takes a villiage to raise a child.

Read the book by all means, but just take from it what you agree with.

I read it and I think it's worth a read but bear in mind that boys can be very different individuals and have massively different needs. I get a bit fed up of listening to this "boys are hyper, can't sit still, can't concentrate".

I have two boys and they are like chalk and cheese. One is massively quiet, into books, concentrates a lot, etc, the other boisterous, confident and a huge handful.

That's to oversimplify, but these books are opinions and I would take them with a pinch of salt!!

yes I read it and no I wouldn't recommend it

LOL, I will save my pennies then. I was curious because I was a very girly girl and my brother was always up to things that quite honestly baffled me, sometimes I thought he was from a different planet. I don't want my DS to baffle me in the same way! My DH is already planning football trips, bicycle rides, camping, collecting frogs that kind of thing, so maybe I will just trust his instincts and try to be a good Mum to my little DS without a manual!
Pebble

i read it and loved it personally, helped me understand my 2nd son.

I read it, and all it did was make me feel really inadequate. My DS is such a daddy's boy (age 2) and according to Steve Biddulph he should really need his mother at the moment.

With a 14 week old baby, I'd encourage you to spend any spare time catching up on sleep or doing something relaxing rather than reading books that might make you feel guilty for no good reason!

I read it, and as a result cancelled ds's place at nursery and launched us on a career as nanny-sharers/nanny employers, which was great but once we started employing, it nearly bankrupted us. Considering how much ds loves school, frankly i think he would have been fine at nursery. No regrets with my choices but if I hadn't read the blardy book I would be about £2,000 better off!

its o.k. wouldn't recommend it. some of biddulphs points are interesting. many i totally disagreed with.

Thank you Domestic Goddess, excellent point. I'm a bit addicted to the 'What to expect' books, when he naps tomorrow I think I might just make a cup of tea, pop my feet up and watch my Sky plussed Britain's Next Top Model instead!

Yes, any Next Top Model with feet up is time better spent than reading stuff to make you anxious.

maybe it's the sort of book that is invaluable if and when you need it, not really a general guide

A much better idea pebblejones. At 14 weeks I suspect that you're already worrying about feeding, sleeping through the night, what happens when DS can roll over, growth charts, conflicting information about weaning, getting too hot at night, how many layers DS should wear during the day... and who knows what else!

I was a bit addicted to parenting books for a while. I really wish I'd spent some time reading books I love!

Yes and it's brilliant if you have boys!
Full of common sense, logical advice and humor. However, many working parents who use nurseries get hysterical and rather militant about it.
I would reccommend it highly.

I think I shall add it to my Amazon wish list for as and when I need it then. I've read some reviews in there and I don't recall any of them mentioning the author discussing nurseries in a negative way for boys; my DS will have to go to nursery for 3 days of the week from 10 months old because we cannot afford for me not to work beyond then, reading it at this stage might just frighten me; but the points raised by you all for later on will probably make me purchase it in the end.
Pebble

Yes -read it when found out I was expecting DS. It's an OK read with w few interesting ideas but can't say I liked all of it.

Much better was Sue Palmer - 21st century boys. Similar arguments but better written and bit less preachy.

Yes, I've read it. Can't say I got much from it though, apart from a large inferiority complex! It's a bit lentil weavey for me.

Pebble also adds 21st Century Boys to wish list.

As it is by S. Biddulph, it will largely be shite. Borrow if you must, don't buy.

I think it's useful to treat each child as an individual with unique needs rather than 'all boys' or 'all girls'. Each child should be looked at for their individual learning styles - I know I don't learn in the same way as all the other women on my course.

Are you like all the women you know?

I read sibblings without rivalry, what fun light reading that was, it basicaly told me i had done everything wrong from word go, great thank you, i took it back and i had only read the intro!!!!