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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

Is it wrong to choose similar name to it's cousin?

15 replies

PixieCake · 29/06/2010 17:34

We are thinking of the name Alexandra.

My DH's brother is expecting a boy 8 weeks before our girl (so our babies will be cousins). They have said they may well call it Alexander.

Is it a bit odd for us to use a name so similar to them? Well I suppose it's actually the same name, just the female version.

Of course we can choose something different, but should we?

Would you be offended if you were him?

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emmyloo2 · 29/06/2010 17:40

I honestly wouldn't give a rats if I was him but I am big on choosing the name you want even if someone has a similar name. The fact that you are having a girl and their's is a boy makes it even less of an issue in my eyes.

But this is coming from me who is quite relaxed about these things. I would also not particularly care whether someone was offended or not. I think if you love Alexandra (it was my top name if my baby boy was to be a girl) then without a doubt go for it. It's a fab name!

PeedOffWithNits · 29/06/2010 18:20

thats a bit much for the grandparents if they both end up called Alex though - especially if they have the same surname

do you live close by - will the kids be at the same school one day? if so even more a NO

why not tell them you had thought of alexandra? they might have anothr name they are toying with and use alexander as a middle name quite happily. or they might say they dont mind. Either way you should NOT leave this till the babies are born

in lots of families this sort of thing leads to lasting resentment.

5DollarShake · 29/06/2010 18:27

It wouldn't bother me, but it might bother some other people, and I wouldn't say they were being unreasonable to be bothered.

If you're really set on the name, then I'd probably try to sound them out before the birth.

Wanderingsheep · 29/06/2010 18:49

Why don't you call her Alexandra but let her be known by a nick name. Eg. Alexa, Lexie, Lexa? That way they won't both end up as Alex.

livviloo · 29/06/2010 20:28

We have lasting resentment about this in my family so I agree with POWN above and would recommend you discuss it with them. It's not worth the problems it may cause for some people.
I think you need to consider not only if its a problem for you but if its a problem for grandparents, them and the rest of the family.

CharlieBoo · 30/06/2010 20:57

Hello, my neice is called Charlotte (DP's side) and we called our son Charlie. I didn't even think about it, Charlie is a name I have always loved and wanted if ever I had a son, DP felt the same. However, over the years there has been the odd comment from Charlotte herself (which she obviously picked up from her parents) like, 'Charlie is the same as Charlotte, Charlie is the boys version of Charlotte' etc. It doesn't bother me as they live miles away but maybe I have come to realise it did/does bother them. I just didn't think. Too late now. I think Alexander and Alexandra are almost identical though. I used to work with a lady though who had a boy called Alex and a girl called Alexa!!!!

GladioliBuckets · 30/06/2010 20:58

I think it's fine if you're not planning to use the same nickname as Wanderingsheep says.
In principle I don't see the problem with male/female versions, my first baby was going to be Felix if she'd been a boy - with an older cousin Felicity.

Magalyxyz · 30/06/2010 21:00

I've done this before on MN and I was shouted down, but there will be one set of grandparents who have two grandchildren with virtually the same name!!

It may not be confusing for you, but for the grandparents it will be a little odd, so I wouldn't do it out of courtesy to the grandparents.

GladioliBuckets · 30/06/2010 21:03

Could start a family tradition! Grandparents in the olden days were quite used to names being doubled up, esp pre contracepive pill

Magalyxyz · 30/06/2010 21:09

My aunt was a margaret and so was her first cousin but one was maggie and the other was margot.

StrictlyTory · 30/06/2010 21:54

I have to say I'm one of those people who would hate it

DC2 is due Sept and we'll be using Alexander for a boy and I would not be happy at all if one of my siblings or DH's used Alexandra. I would be very miffed which I know is silly but it would bug me that out of all the names in the world they used one so similar.

janeite · 30/06/2010 21:56

I think it is both odd and unimaginative and I would be quite cross if I were your bil/sil.

SE13Mummy · 01/07/2010 14:42

One of the names we almost used for DD2 was Keziah nn Kizzy. However, because we knew that we'd call her Kizzy day-to-day we decided to go with a different name because my niece is called Izzy. We thought it would be odd for DD1 to have a cousin and a sister with very similar names although I suppose if it had been the name we really wanted to use then we would have done.

I'd definitely mention to your BiL or his wife that you're considering Alexandra - they can do what they wish with the information if they have it but if they have an Alexander and 8 weeks later you have an Alexandra they may feel miffed if they'd not known it was on the cards.

rachel234 · 01/07/2010 14:47

In my opinion, 'naming' something or someone is to (as uniquely as possible) identify them.
It will be particularly problematic if they are both called Alex, especially for their grandparents.
There are so many lovely names out there....!

SoozleQ · 01/07/2010 15:29

If I have a boy I intend to name him Harry after my grandad - this is the same name as my other half's brother's son (i.e. cousin). Other half doesn't have a problem with it and I don't, so Harry it will be.

In our defence, we live a good couple of hours from the other Harry and my other half really doesn't get on with his brother so the two are unlikely to cross paths much. We've also agreed that baby will have my surname so the Harrys wouldn't have the same last name.

And other half is convinced I'm having a girl so maybe we don't need to worry about it.

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