Should I change DS's name officially or unofficially?

[Fanfare]

DS is 10 months old and we're planning to change his name because, to me, it's still just wrong. In fact we're going to just swap over his first name and middle name. I'd like to do it officially (ie birth certificate), but given the huge amounts of things to change (bank accounts, doctors etc) I just wondered what the MN jury was on leaving his names as they are and just calling him by his middle name? I know it's a relatively common occurence, but it's always struck me as a little odd (I know, no odder than changing an 10-month old's name!). I wonder whether it would be a pain forever saying "his name is x but he's known by y" for anything official, and whether he'll end up being called both names by different people. Any thoughts gratefully received!

Just change it officially then.

If when he's older he decides he prefers his middle name and wants to be called that then throttle him!!!

I can almost see that happening WowOoo!

Hi Fanfare, I am known by my second name, because my parents wanted to call me that name and have the other name as my middle name but it sounded better the other way around (does that make ANY sense at all??)

It IS a pain having to explain it to people, and while it's not THAT much of a pain in the grand scheme of things, I would never actually inflict it on my own child.

So would recommend changing it if you can.

Thanks Heading4home, it's really useful to hear how you've found it.

I to use my middle name - same reason as above mother wanted true first name but father wanted name I use so they both kinda won. I suit my middle name better and that's all I've used except for the three years when I did my teacher training I went by my first name. I don't find it too much of a problem it is a good coversation starter.

I am known by a derivative of my middle name - all the women in my family have the same first name (cultural thing) - and it is an utter, utter, PITA. Not just having to explain it, but having to gauge the formality/legality of any document I'm adding my name to, plus thinking about whetehr the intended audience will be utterly confused because they know me by the other name...

Argh. I broke the tradition and called my daughter by the name I wanted to call her. And now she wants to be called something else.

I would swop officially it'll only make it awkward for him in the future otherwise. It's not like your giving him a completely new name you just changing the order.

My mother is known by her middle name. She's never found it a hassle - it's even been useful at times. She used her first name when she wanted a unique work identity. A bit like one person having different email accounts for different purposes.

Ds1 is only ever known by his nickname. It's not any sort of hassle - schools and other establishments are perfectly used to "Xyz known as Y", as long as they understand the relationship between the given name(s) and the known-as name.

I OTOH have always been known by a name that was not on any documentation until I got fed up of the situation in my early 20s and added it by deedpoll. That is a hassle. At least let the known-as name have some connection to the documented name.

I changed my DD's name at 6 months. My ex-p wouldn't let me give her the name I wanted, so she ended up with his choice as a first name and my choice as a middle name. When the novelty of fatherhood wore off and he scarpered, I thought why is she dragging his ugly choice of name around with her when he isn't even here? In the beginning I just used her middle name unofficially, at nursery for instance, and when meeting new people, but when it came to opening a bank account for her and applying for a passport, it was time to do it officially. I did it with deedpoll.org, I think it cost about £10. Then when you need to do something official (passports etc) you produce the original birth certificate and the deep poll together, very straightforward.

My dad has spent his whoel life using his middle name for everything except legal documents. DS and I both have nicknames which aren't quite as common for our actual first names but most people just accept it... Ds is down at school as A...... J...... T..... but known as x.

Mind you if your kid is less than a yr old I'd think about doing the deed poll thing, its a lot less hassle at this age than it will be later on!

I'd change it if I was you. A good friend of mine is known by her middle name and she really finds it a nuisance.

Has your DS been christened? If not you can just have the birth certificate ammended. You can do this upto a year after the birth was registered

Thanks so much everyone, that's helped me get it straight in my mind, we will go with the official change then. Yes, we're up against the clock as his christening is next month so will just be a simple amendment.

My friend was always known by her middle name and just scrapped her unused first name altogether by deedpole because she found it so fristrating having to explain it on forms, when being issued email addresses from new employers, etc. She also felt no affinity with the first name at all as she'd never been called it.

Having said that I know at least two other people known by their middle names who manage perfectly well and have never raised it as a problem. They tend to be known on forms etc as B. Thomas Smith or C. Lucy Brown if you see what I mean.