Is it OK to use my sister's new stepson's name?

[beanlet]

We're having a boy, and both of us have always liked the name Alexander. However, my sister has just got married, and reminded me that her husband's son's name is Alexander (aged 14). They live on the other side of the world, and won't see each other often, if ever -- is it OK, do you think, to go ahead and call our baby Alexander?

of course it is ok, Alexander is a fabulous name. did she remind you in a 'don't call your baby that' way? if she did she is being silly.

Of course. that would be a ridiculous rason not to use a name.

hmm, I don't think I would, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't!

Actually, I wouldn't use it. I don't think it's about how often you see them, it's about a child's position in the family. It's important that they feel unique, as if they occupy a special place and this might well undermine that for your step-nephew. Also, would you use the name if it was your sister's birth son? If not, it seems to send out a signal that your step-nephew is not part of the family somehow and your sister presumably wants him to be integrated with his grandparents and cousins. If it would hurt your sister's/nephew's feelings (and I can understand why it might) I would avoid.

I wouldn't use it and made sure not to use any other family names (even cousins/step family etc).

They may never see each other.

I'm sure ths boy on the other side of the world would not be too upset that his dads new wifes sister has also called her baby Alexander.

Even if/when they did meet, kids often see having the same name as a 'bond' rather than feeling possesive of thier name.

well my ds's do anyway.

(note: my ds's don't have the same name as each other, that would be silly)

it might make the step-nephew feel special - as though u had named your baby after him

Does your sister live on the other side of the world from you or does his son? If the dad will see your son more often than his own you shouldn't use it IMO for the reason's Patsy gave.

reasons even

I'd use it. It's a reasonably popular name, so I'm sure the step son knows other people with his name already. Also, he's 14, not 4...

I wouldn't use it -- agree with Patsy99. You could maybe use something close to it, like Alec, but using the name itself I would avoid.

I'd use it - why not? The son of his new uncle by marriage who he has never met and who lives on the other side of the world? Would be very silly for you not to use the name, IMO.

I wouldn't myself, suggests you're not really welcoming the new stepson as part of your family... and if your parents are still alive they'll have a granchild and step-grandchild by the same name. Assuming your sis has a good relationship with her Alexander, she might be a bit hurt that you've repeated the name.

Nice name though!!

Don't think anyone would be bothered by using the same name. I think it would only be an issue if she had chosen the name for a future child and you got there first (think episode of friends when Rachael chooses the name Emma for her little girl). My great-grandmother and her sister were both called Sarah. Apparently Great-great-grandmother really liked the name!

I would avoid it, personally, as I dislike duplicating family names however tenuous the link may seem. Alec is a lovely alternative. Equally, you could relegate Alexander to the middle name and then it needn't be an issue at all.

It might be a bit odd for your sister. She'll have a nephew and a stepson with the same name. That might be slightly more problematic for her than it is for you.

Why does it matter if the sister has a son and a nephew called Alexander? Why would that bother somebody? If they spent a lot of time together then it would be confusing, but otherwise so what?

Funny how adults are so possessive of names but I don't think kids are- don't remember any of the 5 Johns and 3 Davids in my class at school much caring that they shared names. Also, at the last large family meetup I got actively doorstopped by two separate cousins daughters plugging that I reuse their names when I have a baby (they are 15/16).

I think your new step-nephew will likely be flattered and not at all concerned if you call your son Alexander. Might be different if he was

I'd had this discussion before on mn, so not really going to bother going the full 9 yards again, but all things being equal, I'd rather that my stepson and my nephew had a name each and did not share one. It's simpler, avoids possibly risking upsetting the stepson, or the baby being known as little Alex(eg).

Also, it might not be confusing for the OP herself, but supposing the two sisters have mutual friends, aunts, cousins, then both of the 'smith girls' have an Alex. Which Alex is the one that needs a get well card? I met their mum yesterday and she said Alex is sick. Hmmmm.

It wouldn't be the end of the World if it was a times a little confusing or if one child was known as little [Name] but there are plenty of names out there!

I would never name my child the same as my BIL's son. It would be very odd.

I was going to say that you should use it.

Then I thought of my own family.

My brother is married to a woman who has a child, J.

If I were to call my child the same name as my brother's stepson, it would be odd.

Not least because my parents see J as a grandson, so to have 2 grandchildren with the same name would be strange.

Another definate NO vote for the reasons mentioned already.

There are so many names out there, why choose one that has already been given to my sister's step-son. Honestly, I wouldn't.

If he became stepson next year you wouldn't even worry about it. Name your baby what you want. If your sister and partner split up and she loses touch with stepson you'll kick yourself.