should we use his family names?

[TeaBaggy]

ok this is a little confusing so please bear with me...my partner and i have been together for 5 years and have decided to start trying...yay! (not the issue)

my partner is david john
his dad is david john (but everyone calls him john)
his grandad is john david
his great grandad is john david/david john...not sure which but you get the idea

my partner wants to keep his family tradition and use these names

i really dont like john (or johnny etc)and i think david as a first name would be too confusing (same initials as they grow older etc)

everytime we start talking about baby names we end up going in circles!

all help/advice appreciated!

Agreed with the others - especially if they will have the same surname as their father.

Far too confusing. My DH is named for his deceased uncle and grandfather, his older brother for the other grandfather, his younger brother for their dad.

Fortunately DH doesn't think the tradition should be followed - I like the names but they are in use in my head already, and I really want our children to have their own name within the tight cirlce of immediate family.

well I will go against the grain here and say that I think you should go with it I think traditions are important and both John and David are lovely names if you really dont care for it then call him John David William (or what ever you like) and use that but 100% I would use a tradition that has gone through 4 generations.. and then I would promptly declare this meant I got freerange on baby no 2

thanks guys...im kinda hoping to go down the middle name route but we will see...

i also thought i might try the "if its a boy you can choose and if its a girl il choose" as he doesnt like evelynn...which i love!

mayb the thought of being stuck with a name he doesnt like will make him more likely to compromise

although it might backfire and il end up with john david when it turns out to be a boy!

I know you are only thinking of your first child here but I always feel a bit sorry for the second son etc with these family traditions. If one dc gets the special traditional name, then how are the other dc supposed to feel? Just a thought. (Can you tell I am anti tradition?!)

my dh has his grandad's name, which is also his cousin and his uncle's name. bil has the same name as his uncle etc, they only have about 4 names in their family.
They like that they share the same names.

DH's family have a 'family name', but used as a middle name. My MIL rebelled against pressure from her MIL and didn't use it for DH. We have used it as a middle name for DS1 and we've given DS2 my maiden name as a middle name.

I think if my MIL had pressured me to use the family name for either DSs I would have made a point of not doing so, just as she did!

I think first time mums should get free rein to choose whatever name they fancy. Maybe he will end up looking like a John or a David but only if you like. It is totally unfair to put you under this pressure ( although you might see it as taking away the worry of finding the latest cool "just right" name).

Personally I have these names in my family and having run out of other ideas it seems quite nice to have one for the grandads. JD and DJ get used quite a lot as names in their own right and that is what I would do.

1st name should be name you like and want to use.

Middle names for making Granny happy.

I agree with houseworkhater that keeping to this tradition is just very silly. Also somewhat pretentious imo. And above all boring

There's nothing like the excitement of choosing a name that you and your partner choose to give your child. I found it the best bit of being pregnant, thinking of names! Because lots of stuff is tied up in it; you tend to choose names you love the sound of (obviously) but also I think names say alot about how you see yourself, and the hopes and dreams you secretly have for your child and what they may be like, what they may do or where they're heading in life...it's a lovely gift to give them, I think, their name. Such a shame just to blindly follow traditions that other people have imposed.

Show a little imagination and spirit and chutzpah on behalf of your future child and choose your own name - and agree with others, the David John bit can be middle names.

What about a variation on John say Jonathan or Jonty? Perhaps you could keep the tradition by using D & J as initials in some order but different names. Personally I love family traditions and if they can worked in without ending up with a name that you dislike then it's shame not to. With DS we managed to use a name which was special to my mum and nan as a first name and a middle name which had fallen out of favour for a couple of generations from DHs side and ended up with a lovely origninalname but with special meaning for the family.

I can see your point Tea. You are the mum you should choose the name. I have called my ds after dh, using a family name but I am quite traditional.It's quite an old Scots name so apart from Dh I didn't know anyone with the name.I really like it, however, it was my choice I never felt pressured and neither should you.

Just a thought but I would like to know what he and his family would say if u never have a boy at all and u cant pass the name on. Has he given this a thought that his sperm that release might always be female.

My OH family name is Leslie and my OH hates it so luckily we avoided it and went for his dads name for a middle name which we both like which is christopher.