Using the same name as a friends baby

[pigleychez]

My friend has just named her baby Emily. (few months old)

This is also the name we had earmarked for this Bump due in May and was very nearly DD's name last time.
We had ruled it out since my friends announcement but talking to another friend yesterday has made me think twice.

She said that friends move on and dont want to miss out on a name we like when we might not even see each other in a few years. Shes not a close, close friend- We see each other every 3mths or so but chat more frequently.
There has been chat about us moving away/back nearer our parents in a few years which has made this strike a cord.

What does everyone think.. Odd or not?

And I know Emily is a popular name but we both really like it.

If you like it, use it. I'd probably have a word with her in advance, but tbh even if she didn't like it, tough! My friend called her little boy the same name as one of my children - it was quite flattering, and just became "your xxx" and "my xxx" when we were talking about the children.

I would still use it, depending on how close the friend is as wha you other friend says is very true.

You could always use something similar like emilia.

i don't think it would be a problem as it sounds like you don't live close to your friend? if it was a friend you spent a lot of time with at home, toddler group, school etc and dc's 'grew up' together i would not do it but for a long distant friend i would say go for it.

I think I'd just mention to your friend that Emily is the name you're planning to call your baby. Explain that you're letting her know in advance out of courtesy but that it was a name you had seriously considered for DD1 and you definitely want to use it this time so hope she understands.

You're right, it is a popular name so your friend can hardly 'claim' it. There are likely to be lots of other Emilys around so it's not as though your two will be the only ones.

if she wanted a name that only her child had she shouldn't have picked one of the most widely used girls names in the UK

its not her name, she doesn't own it and you should use it if you love it

I would however tell her in advance its one of the choices you are considering for you arrival, should it be a girl, depending on whether or not it suits her - will give her time to get used to the idea

I think it would only be a pain if they were likely to be in the same class.

I think you should use it. (I've already worried about this as I've got a friend due 2 weeks before me but me and my DH have already agreed that if they use one of our fave names we won't let it stop us!)

I would definitely think twice if a relative or best friend picked it or if it were really unusual, but Emily is really popular anyway and if you explain that you've always liked it then she ought to understand.

Bloody Hell it's your baby, call her what you want, never mind anyone else!

My boss had a baby a few weeks before me. They used the name we had already chosen and we went ahead and used that same name too.

I told mutual friends that we had already chosen that name and when chating about the kids we refered to our daughters as 'our' and their name, so no confusion.

Since then we have both left the job and no longer see each other. Even if we still worked together or saw each other socially it wouldn't be any kind of problem.

I love my daughter's name and if I were you I would pick the name you like and not be discouraged by the fact your friend has chosen it too. I do agree it would be nice to tell your friend it is on your list of favourite names but if you decided to use it don't feel you need to ask her permission!

She may feel flattered but even if she doesn't, it's a free country.

Hope all goes well.

I would not do this.

There are millions of baby names, surely you can come up with something else?

I can't believe you are already thinking a child's name us more important than a friendship.

People grow closer as well as growing apart, particularly if they have children close in age.

I would assume in this situation that the person in question did not want to maintain much of a friendship as surely nobody would choose to subject somebody else's kid to being Emily A for a significant part of their life?

I really don't mean to sound rude or unkind, but... if you're going to choose a name as popular as Emily, you're always going to encounter such scenarios! It's been top five for several years now!

Could you alter it slightly - Emmeline or Emilia, perhaps?

I think you should use it. Your choice. It's not like it's Atlanta or Persephone (sp?).

A close (but new - last 12 months) friend who is 17 weeks pregnant wants to call her baby Finley if a boy. I really like the name Finn and might use Finnian if my (very new - BFP yesterday!) bump is a boy.

Hopefully I will be friends with this woman for years to come, but circumstances may change... so if we both choose the same/similar name I think that is just one of those things.

Finian and Finlay are different names.

One is Irish, the other not.

suggest looking at this the other way. if you had your baby first and you both chose emily would you be upset? that should give you an idea if its an issue or not. i also suggest forewarning them and explaining that this has been a long running favourite.

i agree with the arguements about not owning a name, but i also think that people should be considerate to friends. despite knowing that we chose a non-popular name on purpose our child's godparents chose this name for their child. it has left us with the impression that their child's name was more important than our feelings

skidoodle, my point was that both likely to be shortened to Fin/Finn... so in the park/aisles of Fiasco when we both call them it WILL be the same.

interested to know which one you think is Irish? IMO Finnian is, and Finley is.... FinlAy tends to be the Scottish version?

Even if you were best friends I really and truly don't see the problem. No one "owns" a name and you have as much right to it as her.

FWIW, when we were growing up my mum's best friends' children both had the same names as my sister and it never caused any problems.

They were just big XXX, medium XXX and little XXX.

I think it's fine. No one owns a name.

but cumbria, if you have gone to the trouble of choosing a non-popular name because you don't want your child to be big/medium or little do you not think it shows lack of consideration to the other person's feelings - espec if they are a close friend?

I would go ahead and use it.

Think of this scenario - you meet a lovely woman in the future, you get on really well, but horror of horrors, her daughter has the same name as yours. Would you really not become her friend just because of that? - of course not. It's a similar thing in my opinion.

pigleychez My name is quite popular, sometimes there is another woman with the same name at work/church/social activities, we just use our surname initial as well as our name if we need to distinguish and I'm very happy to have my middle name used with my first name too (I know a child who uses the middle name like that too).

Many people change or use derivatives and nick names, sometimes have different names used by different people. My sis has two versions of her first name (neither is the full original name) and I call her a nickname! You may find once you have named your baby you use something different as a nick name from the start! But the name you chose on the birth certificate is special and it would be a shame not to use the name you had already chosen and liked even if you end up using a derivative of it sometimes.

If you do end up with friends with similar names I'd recommend you don't name one small or big, tall or short etc, . Nicer, I think, to use their middle name, if you pick a name that goes well with Emily could be great. .

Friendship is very important but you are not copying this other family by using a name you had already thought of.