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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

swaping names around

23 replies

janeyyy · 01/11/2009 13:53

My baby is called Edward James, we call him Ted for short, I don't now like the name Edward at all and would like to swap his first and middle names around so he is called james Edward but still called Ted for short, so James is his formal name but Ted just a nickname. Some family members still call him Edward and I find this annoying.

What do you think?

OP posts:

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cheesesarnie · 01/11/2009 13:55

i think you cant get annoyed if family members cant keep up.how old is he?

TheBlairSnitchProject · 01/11/2009 13:57

Ted isn't short for James. No wonder they're confused!

diddl · 01/11/2009 14:00

If you´re going to call him Ted, what´s the point in changing the names around?

Just tell everyone to call him Ted, also.

Unless you want to call him James?

Original poster

janeyyy · 01/11/2009 14:12

He is 10 months old we started to call him
Edward but changed when he was about 4 months to Ted, which we prefer, but some family members although know we call him this
just won't make the change.

Also I pefer the names in this order
James Edward.

OP posts:

diddl · 01/11/2009 15:16

So you want his name to be James, Edward, known as Ted?

Original poster

janeyyy · 01/11/2009 15:19

yes

OP posts:

twosofar · 01/11/2009 15:20

If he's going to be known as Ted, then it makes way more sense for him to be Edward James. The fact that your family refuses to call him Ted is obviously very annoying if that's name, but how would this change if you altered his name?? They'd probably start calling him James to piss you off.
I wouldn't bother

belgo · 01/11/2009 15:20

How did you manage to give your son a name you don't like?

Edward is a lovely name, but if you want to change to James Edward, I think you can do so quite easily before your son reaching one year of age.

belgo · 01/11/2009 15:21

Or change it to Ted James, get rid of the Edward totally.

Original poster

janeyyy · 01/11/2009 15:33

I loved it when pregnant but just went off it. I can't explain why. Just feel like its not him.

OP posts:

diddl · 01/11/2009 15:49

If his name is Edward James, you can hardly get annoyed at people calling him Edward!

Personally, unless specifically told,I´d call him Edward if that´s his name, as I wouldn´t presume to shorten.

belgo · 01/11/2009 16:17

Exactly Diddl, so if they no longer like the name, then it's better just to get rid of it completely.

hattee · 02/11/2009 08:57

I agree with the others that there's not much point swapping the names around. It's very easy if you decide to do it. There is nothing wrong with changing your baby's name if you are unhappy with it - but in your case I think it will cause more confusion.

I think you have 2 options. The first is to keep it as it is, but tell everyone that he is called Ted. Loads of people are known by a diminutive of their full name (Katherine/Kate, James/Jim etc). This way, he can choose himself whether he wants to be a Ted or an Edward when he is older.

The second is to change his name to Ted James.

You could of course go with the 3rd option of swapping his names around - but if you intend on calling him Ted, I think this will just be confusing for everyone - especially Ted when he is older

MrsWoolf · 02/11/2009 10:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Annabelsmummie · 02/11/2009 11:59

If you're uhappy with Edward, I'd definately change it now (before he turns one).

You really have lots of options, including Ted James, Theodore James, James Edward... main thing is that YOU'RE happy with his names (not us!).

Good luck!

sonniebonnie · 02/11/2009 12:10

If you want Ted as first name, then I'd change his birth certificate to reflect that, either by naming him Ted or Theodore as first name.

If you're not happy with Edward, change it while you can (easily, that is, i.e. before he turns one).

hattee · 02/11/2009 15:11

Sorry janeyyy - my post sounds quite preachy. You should do whatever you feel happy with. I just meant that I think it is unnecessary in your case - but that's just my opinion and I don't have to live with it, you do.

I think Theodore James is a good idea if you like that? I also think that your family are being unfair if they are refusing to call him the name you want - tell them he is Ted!

Original poster

janeyyy · 02/11/2009 16:15

Thanks for the replies, it has given me something to think about.

I have not been happy with his name since he was born (long story why). Do you think it is just too mad now to make changes, even changing it all completely? (he is 10 months old)

How would I explain this to my son when he is older, would he think his mother was mad?

OP posts:

hattee · 02/11/2009 16:46

I changed DS's name at 5 months as I was never happy with his original name either(another long story). I wanted to change it for months, but didn't because I was worried that it would be a crazy thing to do, that people would laugh, and having to explain it when he gets older.

Eventually, I was becoming so upset with him having a name that I couldn't relate to, that I bit the bullet and changed it. You know - it feels like no one has battered an eyelid (not to my face anyway). The general response has been one of "fair enough - you have to happy with it". I am so much happier now. I have come to realise that you have to do what is right for you, and that unless it directly affects them, other people don't really care what you do that much. My family and friends seem happy that I am happier - and now we have a different topic of conversation other than my baby's name!

I still think about having to explain it when he is older - but I can think of a lot worse things to have to explain. I think mist kids think their parents are mad anyway don't they?

Sorry for my earlier post - I didn't realise how important this is to you. I think Edward James is a great name - but its how you feel that counts. Change it if it will make you feel happier

Original poster

janeyyy · 02/11/2009 16:56

Hatte thats fine, you have to expect some stern responses on here. Did your DH feel the same as you mine doesn't which it what holds me back, he is fine for me to go ahead but I know he would rather keep it as it is and loves his name. But knows the whole thing has sent me a little mad and wants closure.

I don't really care what others think, its just how it would affect my DH and my DS that worrys me.

OP posts:

hattee · 02/11/2009 17:12

DH would have preferred to have kept the original name, but he likes the new name too, and says he is happy with it. We kept the original name as a middle name.

It came down to it being much more important to me than it was to DH. There are other things that are important to DH, but not to me - and he gets his way on these without me even thinking about it. I am so grateful to him for being so supportive over the name thing, but he says it's no big deal, that he sees it as part of being married and making decisions that we are both happy with (I wish we had done this at the birth!)

I don't know how it will affect DS - but I think there are worse things that kids have to deal with. Doesn't stop me worrying about it though

hattee · 04/11/2009 11:50

janeyyy, I spoke to a friend who knows someone that changer her daughter's name as a baby - about 8 years ago now. According to her, the daughter thinks it is funny that she had a different name when she was a baby, and has no identity issues at all. Obviously, everyone reacts differently to things, but I thought this might be of interest to you.

There have been a surprising (to me anyway)number of threads on baby name changing - so I am sure there must be MNers who have experienced explaining baby name changes to their child.

Good luck with whatever you decide. I think Edward James is a great name, but you're the one who needs to be happy with it. I'm sure you already know that if you do it within 12 montths of the original registration, you'll get a new birth certificate with the new name

MiniMousse · 04/11/2009 22:14

I feel exactly the same about my daughter's name - like the nickname for her first name but not the full first name, and am considering doing what you are thinking about - ie keeping her nickname but (and its full version as a middle name) and giving her another name as her first name.
If anyone had told me I'd feel like this before I had her I'd have thought they were mad, but once you are in the situation it can completely dominate your thoughts. I think you should do what you want to do - lots of people are known by their middle name or a nickname of their middle name - look at Boris Johnson!
Unfortunately it is too late for me as my baby is over a year old. I feel gutted, and would hate for you to feel the same. I wish I had done something about it. I know I can do a deed poll but don't think that gives her a new birth cert which is such a shame.

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