what do mums think of the use of first born son's middle name for second born son's first name?

[JenJam]

I'm due on Halloween
Can anyone see why not?
I won't voice my concerns/worries as I don't want to prejudice the responses.
Cheers, Jen

I have always found this quite annoying personally, but of course I can see the reasoning behind it...I love naming children and would find it hard not to take advantage of the naming opportunities to use as many as possible!

I know a family where the second daughetr (dc4) was named the middle name of the first daughetr (dc2) and yes it does seem quite sort of 'closed'

and a bit dull
and more about the parents having to have 'a Catherine' or whatever

I dunno, maybe it would be kind of positive and inclusive, or something.

But I wouldn't do it. Then I am a bit strange and have always named my children with the future in mind, thinking about whether I might indeed have another son or a daughter and how I will feel if I don't/do use the names I like etc etc

In other words I am weird, you're probably not

Similar but my first 2 DS have the same middle name!

I have no idea why i did but we had agreed on a name for DS2 but when he was born in my post labour/bf dreaming state i sent text to everyone saying he was born and used the same second name

I think its ok to use the same name - it wouldnt bother me and people dont really use their second names anyway.

You love the name then use it

Had same dilemma when pregnant with DC2 - wanted to use DS' middle name potentially as next baby's first name as it was the only boys' name DH and I both liked and agreed on - but in the end just decided we couldn't do it. To me it felt like removing a small part of DS's identity if that makes sense? So we reluctantly cut our losses and agreed on another name we didn't hate! Was irrelevant in the end as DC2 turned out to be a DD!!

Oh do it - we have decided to use ds's middle name (james) as a first name should this tummybaby turn out to be a boy. Who uses middlenames anyway? I think its a nice link between the boys, not a cause for dissent. In our case James is a family name, and if it wasnt used as a first name it woudl be a middle name (which i did find odd - both sons having the same middle name) but second son (should he exist) will have a very unusual middle name, so shouldnt feel second best at all.

So after all that rambling - if you like it, your DH likes it, do it!

I really want Mamas12 to come back and talk about the paul thing

I wouldn't do it.

Your first son is called Finn Edward and that name 'belongs' to him and defines him imo. Perhaps he may later choose to call himself by his middle name?

Whilst I understand that you love the Edward, there are SO many other lovely names out there and I think it would be worth choosing another name and letting ds1 'keep' his names.

Good luck!

Oh do it.

Initially, I would think that it's not very imaginative to use a name twice, but what's done is done and it's more important to give your Ds2 a name that you love.

Middle names are hardly known outside immediate family anyway so the vast majority of people will have no idea.

And Edward is a great name

Good luck with the birth and wishing your lo a safe arrival

And I've just realised, My ds2, Ed, was due on Halloween too, so you HAVE to call him edward!!

As it happened he arrived 3 days early so we've just celebrated his first birthday!

Well we did it!

Eldest son's middle name was chosen for baby brother's first name. We have 5 DS, 4 God sons, and 6 nephews....so yes we were starting to run out. Didn't finally decide until we saw DS5 but it suited him....and it's 'his' name now. Don't think it shows lack of imagination.

Have a friend with 3dds, she named dd3 with the two middle names of the older dds - again, because she'd used up all their 'favourite' names. I understand that, but it has been sad to hear the dd3 say that she doesn't have a 'name of her own'

DS5 is 12 now and not a bit bothered that he shares a name with his eldest DB .....They are 18 years apart in age anyway.

I definately would't do it.

I think all children should be given their own unique names, because that is what defines them. Why should they have to 'share' a name with a sibling?

I think all your other options (George, Joseph) are lovely and would go well with Finn Edward.

Good luck with the birth!

I say GO FOR IT !!!!!

There are so few people in the world that will ever know - and even fewer that will care -
there is such a danger of over-rationalising it - I can think of far more possible reasons that DS1 might feel perturbed than the fact his brother was 'given' his name......

do it !

My workmate says she knew twins in school called sarah Louise and Louse Sarah. That is just weird if you ask me!

We also had the dilemma, DS1's middle name was the ONLY name we liked for DS2, but we just felt we couldn't do it to DS2. We didn't want him to grow up feeling that we gave him a "second-hand" name, if that makes any sense. He'll have enough hand-me-downs growing up without a name to boot. Three months on and I'm still not happy with the name we did choose for him, but I am still happy we didn't give him DS1's middle name. Thinking of other names, does Henry fit in with the type of names you like? I'm sure you've considered it as you'll have been through a million names by now, but just in case! Whatever you decide, enjoy your new little son when he arrives (and who knows, he may just look like something completely different when he does arrive!!).

I have often thought if I ever had a second son I would be tempted to use my current son's middle name as his first name, because I love it so much. I quite like the idea of making it a family name, but I do suspect people may react badly to it (online the lines above -no imagination, unfair to both boys, bit weird), and the last thing you want on the birth of a child is negativity around your name choice.

I'm not expecting so this dilemna is yet to come to the fore for me (and may never if we were to have a girl)... so good luck!

My feeling is to probably to opt for a new name, and just accept there may be times when you wish he was called Edward, because mothers get VERY attached to potential names for their children, but ultimately in the real world other names are, to other people, just as nice, and it might be fairer to give your next son his own name which everyone will react positively too.

Your other choices are lovely, handsome names btw -I especially love Samuel!

I was talking to another mum the other day and asked what her son's middle name was.

'James' she said.

Oh that's nice I said. How about your other boy? 'James' she said.

It turns out James is the middle name of all her sons, her stepson and her partner.

It's always good to have a family name but I did kind of think 'isn't that why you have a surname?'

That's also true that he may not look like you imagine the name...iyswim. Mine was a definite William before he was born, but he came out and didn't look like one so I changed it (and annoyed everyone!)

My DS3's first name is the middle name of my DS1. DS3 was nameless for days as we just didn't love any other names. It wasn't ideal as we worried people would think it weird but it's been fine. It's also one of DH's middle names so it's well used in the family! I'd much rather give a "used" name than give a name I didn't love half as much.

How about Eamonn, (pr. AI-mun) Irish for Edward, especially since Finn is a sort of Irish name (hero of the Finn McCool legend).

I know a family where the first DS got names mum and dad both liked, while second DS got dad's first and middle names reversed, and at a certain age DS1 was immensely saddened by the perceived slight. If your DS2 gets a name that is part of dad's name as his first name while DS1 has the name but doesn't get to use it, you might be in for the same kind of grief. But using a variation of the name might soften the blow.

I'm not sure why your DH rejects Joseph on religious grounds but is ok with George or Samuel -- surely there was a saint George (dragon slayer) and Samuel is biblical?

I'm back and smiling away to see so many lovely and considered responses. that wasn't expected

I agree with many of the points made, which makes this whole thing tricky

However, I am leaning towards using Edward, because i really really like it.

I also love mumsnet. Thanks for taking the time to chip in.

Now, how about giving Finn Edward another name on top of his two (by deed poll) so he had another unique name of his very own on top of sharing 'Edward'

So we'd be a family of

James Edward (dad)
Finn Edward (first born) George
and Edward Joseph Samuel

Then there is James's grandfather who was Cecil Edward, which somehow makes the united in Edward-ness a bit more

I'm not a fan of triple names or giving family names for the sake of it, but ..... i need a solution and this one suits my needs!

Adding a George or Samuel might address the very valid point what if first born doesn't want Finn in later life, where does he go from there (although I think my DP will probably do a double take when i mention it

Of course I'll be in John David Paul land if I have another male child.....so maybe this needs some more thought

But in principle it works, no!

hi math anxiety, not keen on a double irish first names. We're fourth generation irish and we have an irish surname I don't feel we can go all out Irish if you see what i mean. I quite liked patrick but veto'd it for that reason

and we did choose the name Finn with Finn McCool in mind (as opposed to the Scottish variant Finlay)

I have heard of a family in Oxford who have a Joseph and a Josephine. makes me feel alot better.

Thinking about it - neither myself, my mum, or my dad has a middle name at all - we have coped! My bro has one, but only because mum said that he couldnt have dads name as his first name. (we called our DS this!)

I honestly dont think they will feel hard done by at all. My name was (before i got married) EXACTLY the same as my dads mums - both first name and second - and i always liked it and felt connected to her. I think they will like it (if they like each other!).

And just to respond to a couple of others

Not overly keen on Henry (bit too single track royal for us ---i know i know George, Edward but It wouldn't feel right to me to yell Henry across the playground, whereas I know lots of different George and Eds)

Can't explain the religious thing either. Suppose as of CofE school goers we think Joseph intrinsically connected with Jesus's father whereas Samuel and George, like James are second cousins, twice removed from there origins because they are so familiar/well used.

Anyway. it's really exciting to be having another baby soon. I can't wait to meet him.

This is exactly where we are at too - DS1, took us 4 days to decide his name and we used both good ones up. This time when the sonographer said "its another boy" I said to DH - Damn it - we wasted the other name!
But the more I think about it, the more we will use DS1's 2nd name for DS2's first name - it will be his special present to baby brother!