Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

is it ever ok to question someones name choice?

40 replies

yada · 17/10/2009 18:26

background info is friends dd (16) fell pregnant, huge shock to my friend but she has come round and really supportive to her dd now.

her dd has decided on names for a dd/ds. dd name is lovely (madeline) but her choice for ds is a bit out of the ordinary (diesel).

her mum is worried that she will regret it in future and whle it might be a "cool" name for her ds while she is 16 she wont think so for years to come and that teachers etc will will read his name at school and judge him before they meet him.

wwyd? she is worried her dd will think she is interfering and make her more determined to call him this (if it is a him), she has asked me to talk to her but she will know that it hs come from her mum.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

ArrghnBoooeee · 03/11/2009 17:38

I knew a young girl who named her child Ice

jlo1234 · 03/11/2009 18:01

i am only 18 and if my mum has said shes not keen on names i have thought of in the past it has put me off and made me think of something else, i know it is down to me but the thought of people saying the name behind my back and bein like OMG why has she called him that and stuff makes me think a bit harder. at the end of the day its her baby but maybe you and her mum should talk to her together, just bring it up in conversation and say so have u thought of any more names yet etc and when she says diesel just say hmm yea its alright, if she gets used to hearing that people dont like it then she will probably feel silly and change her mind x

sunshinejanuary · 03/11/2009 19:11

It is a tough one, i worked with an 18 year old that wanted to simply give her child initials. I had a chat with her about why she might not want to do but i attempted not to sound all knowing or patronising and had to leave it at that....

I know that my Mum does not like my choice of name if i am having a boy and i wouldn't mind her saying so once but she keeps bringing it up and that i am finiding very annoying!

katnkittens · 04/11/2009 23:09

I was 15 when I fell pregnant with DS (16 when I had him) and I was the other way around... I had a normal name for a son but a weird one for a daughter. Thankfully he was a 'he'. My Mum just rolled her eyes and said 'really'? at my choice of girls name.

I'm not sure whether I would have actually used it in the end as all the way through I was convinced he was a boy anyway so I didn't give loads of thought to a girls name.

I would be brutally honest.. if someone I respected had said to me, nicely 'listen darling, I love you but please do NOT call your child xxx, you will regret it' I would have listened.

Maybe she'll consider using it as a middle name and using the more traditional name instead?

displayuntilbestbefore · 04/11/2009 23:15

If you tell people names you're thinking of before the baby arrives then people are bound to comment on them, positive or negative. What I objected to was my own mother having a problem with the name we chose AFTER the baby was born, when it was his name, he had been named, and it wasn't even an off-the-wall name! That's just plain out of order - and upsetting! Especially as dh and I purposefully never told anyone any of our names choices for our dcs before the birth so it would be a surprise (we knew of loads of friends who told us the gender and name of their unborn children so when they arrived, we knew everything bar their birthweight already!).
Not sure about Diesel myself but a lot of people don't seem to think about what their child will feel about having names "of the moment" when they're in their 30s or 40s and wanting to be taken seriously in the boardroom!

readysetgo · 04/11/2009 23:38

Displayuntilbestbefore.. I re-read your comment 3 times before realising you said 'boardroom' and not 'bedroom'!

displayuntilbestbefore · 04/11/2009 23:55

lol!
let's be honest, "bedroom" could as easily fit into that sentence too!

cloelia · 05/11/2009 22:36

it is odd but i agree with monniemae, it is not actually all that bad. It is a v trendy brand name so maybe she thinks it's no worse than levi. could shorten perfectly acceptably to something like dd. Or dizzy. as in rascal. I should leave her to get on with it. good luck to her!!

wizbitwaffle · 14/11/2009 22:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

dizzydixies · 15/11/2009 13:41

cloelia whats wrong with dizzy?!?!?!

nomoralfibre · 15/11/2009 13:56

Where does she live? If in a big city it probably won't stand out that much. It wouldn't at my kids' school- a lot of people would like it a lot and it wouldn't raise any eyebrows. Maybe you could comment nicely on what different types of name she's selected for a boy and a girl and see if she brings up any latent doubts about Diesel that you can then agree might be a problem. I'd keep it very conversational rather than giving your own view though.

ellokitty · 15/11/2009 16:23

My mum pointed out to me that the name I had chosen (annabel) and its shortened version we were going to use (anna) sounded like a completely different word (animosity). It had never occured to me, but once she said it, I couldn't get that out of my head. In the end, we decided to change the name and I am glad that she did tell me... because I think I would regret that name now.

I think it depends on the relationship of the people involved (I am close to my mum and respect her opinion - so was more than happy to listen to other ideas) and I think it also depends on the personality of the pregnant women. I prefer to hear everyone's thoughts and opinions and then make a judgement bearing in mind what people think of a name (not necessarily whether they like it - that's personal, but I do like to know what images a name conjurs up for people - as names do have 'types' etc). But others prefer not to discuss names at all and cannot take any criticism on names. So I guess it depends on the character of the pregnant woman.

MaggiePie · 17/11/2009 08:09

It all work out fine. I know a woman with an Axl and a Diesel and I don't want to identify them, but one of the couple is foreign. Nobody bats an eyelid. They are in their 30s and have good taste otherwise. But their kids are fine! nobody is ostracising them!

slushy06 · 19/11/2009 18:12

I like it not one I would choose mind but I have known a Diesel and a Levi. I would not say anything she needs support and I hardly think a name is the be all and end all. Although young girls can sometimes find it hard to bond with babies and picking a name can really make the baby feel like hers so I would definitely leave it.

MamaLazarou · 19/11/2009 21:53

It's a brilliant name. If I was a little boy, I think I'd want to be called something like Diesel. Everyone will get used to it soon enough. It's better than being one of seven Bens in your class.

Flip

1 2