Is it ok to use the same name as my cousins DS??

[lilysam]

My first ever MN post so please be kind

I'm only 5 weeks pg with my 4th dc and have started to think of names. Girls name is in the bag i think as we'll probably stick to the name we had for DS had he been pink.

I find boys names so, so hard. Majority of friends, family and animals (!) are boys so most names we like have already been taken. I really like the name Alexander, but my cousin has a 6 year old son called Alex. We never see them, they live mile and miles away, our grandparents are no longer with us. Do you think we could use the name or look for something else? Just want to know whether to cross it off the list already or give it some serious consideration.

Thanks in advance.

We had the same problem and debated it long and hard. In our case the cousin was less that a year older and we see them a lot so we didn't do it. In your case I don't think it matters-have the name you want.

If you never see them I can't see why it's an issue. They will never know.

If you have very little contact with them then it shouldn't be too big a problem. What about using a derivative like Zander or Sandy (common in Scotland) if you are still worried about it?

Sorry - we never see them but do have email and fb contact very occasionally, send photos of the kids etc....So they would know - if it becomes a real contender i suppose i could see what she thinks about it. No doubt this name may change with hormones etc getting in the way and my moments of madness over the next 7-8 months

Of course it is ok. No one has a monopoly on a name.

I wouldn't. I had the same issue with my fave boys names all being taken but in the end found a name I loved just as much and it felt more unique. Another member of my family chose a name for her DD the same as her cousin's DD and I always think it's a teeny bit distrespectful and copycat, I don't know why.

Thanks everyone

jellybean - i feel the same and would like to have a more individual name outside friends and family but the options are running out thick and fast, and i'm not keen on unique and bizarre - which is where i may end up (although DH will definately hold me back!!)

Yes, of course it's OK. Whever not?

Good luck with it all.

WHYEVER not

Hmmmm.
I was in a similar situation. Cousins dd called Josie and welike Josephine. We didnt do it n the end, we live quite close, and felt uncomfortable with it.
However, in your case, you wont be togetther much, so it wont confuse them as you call them in for supper or to get off the trampoline or whatever. And Alexander is a very popular, classic name, it not as though you both called your children Abraham or Franklin or anything.
Go for it i say, liked the idea of using a different nn, if that would make things easier - i love Sandy!
You could always ask if they mind?

So obviously your cousin doesn't have the same surname as you? My Dad's cousin did this so my brother 'James Bursar' had a second cousin called 'James Bursar' - my parents were VERY annoyed. Not so bad if surname is different but personally I wouldn't do it.

I don't think it's too bigger deal if your heart's set on the name, but you've got a while to think of something more original.

My DH's cousin used our dd's name when their dd arrived only a week after ours. I was a bit peeved at the time, but now when we meet up, we all use their first and (different) middle names eg Katie May and Katie Louise, which makes a nice change.

Sorry, meant to say "too big a deal". Haven't worked out how to edit posts yet!

As it's a popular name and they'd be 6 yrs apart, I'd do it.

If the name were something a bit more unusual, like Rory (eg) and then a year later you had a Rory, that would be odd, but this is a classic name reappearing 6 years later within an extended family. It's to be expected with popular names I think.

They will take the piss behhind your back! DH's cousin named his baby the same as ours less than a year later and I'm afraid we do have a good laugh about it. Their DD's name is also v similar to ours (5ish yrs apart) so we are already having fun predicting what their No3 will be.

since its not a rare name and you don't really see them it seems okay to me?

to lovebuckets - i'd probably do the same in that situation.

It is a big agegap and a popular name. I'm sure dh doesn't even know the names of my cousins kids. Yet strangely i would never dream of using his cousins childrens names. They have lovely names and live in australia! Hormones making me bonkers me thinks!!!!

thanks again though - 8 months to draft a re-draft the lists x