How do you feel when you tell people a potential baby name and their reaction is 'whaaaat?!'

[ilikeyoursleeves]

I have posted another thread re the name we like for DS- Zach (full name Zachary). I am humming and hooing over this name, secretly I do love it but when my DH told his family about it they all went 'you can't call him Zachary!!!' (apparantly, I wasn't there, not that they'd say that in front of me anyway).

So I continue to feel a bit hesitant about the name Zach, in case others don't like it. But then I think 'he's OUR baby!'.

What have your experiences been when telling other potential / actual baby names?

[fizzpops]

I would like to think that I would think 'sod them all it is my child', but in reality it would niggle with me and that is why I wouldn't mention a name until it was decided upon - although even then you are not safe from the most hardened of opinion givers!

[seeker]

I think that if it was a really off the wall name then you should think "Hmm - if they are reacting like that, is he going to get that reaction to his name all his life and should I think again?"

But if it's a perfectly "ordinary" name, like Zachary, you should think "What odd people!" and carry on.

[chegirl]

I never ask anyones opinion. Learnt that with my first.

Can never quite believe that people ask on MNs for opinions . I would be much to scared to do that!

If you get asked tell them you like 'Gidgen' or 'Englebert'. (apologies to anyone with those names) After that they will love Zach or Teddy or even Chelsea-Leanne.

Names are so personal. IMO there is far too much snobbery about names.

[Kingsroadie]

Resurrecting this a bit as have recently come across this with a couple of names we are considering for our little girl (just found out the sex). We are only discussing names with family and I am refusing to talk to friends about it - if I have mentioned it, it has not been me volunteering the info, it has been people asking - but I have now decided just to say "it's a secret".

When people comment on a name which you are seriously considering calling your child (and therefore must actually like it a lot) I think they just forget that aspect of it.

I think it's different if you invite comment on it, for eg on an MN forum. I completely feel that everyone has very different tastes and we are all entitled to our opinions, but, as I think someone mentioned below - you wouldn't go into someone's house and tell them you hated the colour of their wall or their furniture would you? Well I wouldn't anyway and I would consider it rude! I think people forget it's a similar thing with baby names, and even arguably more personal.

Anyway we are ignoring what people think as it's our choice and as long as we're happy I think that's what counts. Also I think that once the baby is born people won't dare to comment on it negatively! (Well, to my face anyway....)

[Deemented]

What i intend to do when people ask what names we have planned is tell them names that we would never consider at all, and then stick to that throughout pregnancy, that way, when we tell them the real name, after birth, everyone will be mightily relieved and pleased....

[savoycabbage]

My friends did that Deemented. They told everyone that they were calling their baby Jasmine and then they called her Kiera. Then they said that they had never intended to call her Jasmine at all and it was just a ruse! I like Jasmine much better though and I was a bit sad when they didn't have it.

[PuppyMonkey]

My friends did that too. They said they were gonna call their little girl Talullah all thriough the pregnancy - I thought it was great. Then when she arrived they called her boring old Anna. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

[skidoodle]

I think if you tell people before the baby is born that they think it's somehow up for discussion if they don't like it.

That's why mn baby names section is so great (controversial I know), because it gives you an opportunity to see how people might react but you are likely to get a wide range of reactions and it's easy to ignore them if you want to.

I think it's safest in rl to keep all names a secret until it's a done deal. Hardly anyone is rude enough to tell you they don't like your child's name once they're here.

[skidoodle]

"you can't call him bumface" - fair enough

"you can't call him zachary" - why ever not?

This is why it is not helpful to tell family. Families are all mad when they get together.

[girlsyearapart]

Don't tell anyone. If they ask just say 'no we haven't really decided yet'. When people ask you're kind of inviting their opinion. There's always an 'oh my dreadful ex with the small willy was called that/there was a girl in my class who smelled called that'. We didn't tell either tine. Drove my MIL crazy which was a happy side effect

[JemL]

I use the fake names ruse in rl, although I have posted about a potential on here - not only becuase I don't want to hear their reactions to it, but also becuase in my last pregnancy, my stepdad latched onto a name we said we liked and insisted on calling the bump it. He shortened it in a way I didn't like too, and which wouldn't have been the nn we would have used. It would have ruined the name for us anyway, but as it was a girls name and we had a DS, it didn't matter!

I'm happy to have name discussions with family, but I just never mention the names we actually like and have tentatively chosen!

[simplesusan]

I agree with Kingsroadie.
People would never start commenting negatively on your choice of decor so why with baby names? Unless you ask for opinions of course.

Yes there will always be the classic "Oh don't call your baby X because I used to know someone and their next door neighbour's uncle was living with someone who had a cousin who once saw a person with that same name do a poo on the pavement so therefore that specific name is vile".

[LoveBuckets]

I just ignore them. Makes me chuckle that people still can't think of anything nice to say about my DS2's name when they ask it. It's quite fun to watch their faces as they wrack their brains. I guess they all assume I named him after a certain heroin-addict rock'n'roll suicide but actually he was named after a famous author (and a pro-wrestler according to DH.) Can you guess what it is yet?

[LoveBuckets]

I just ignore them. Makes me chuckle that people still can't think of anything nice to say about my DS2's name when they ask it. It's quite fun to watch their faces as they wrack their brains. I guess they all assume I named him after a certain heroin-addict rock'n'roll suicide but actually he was named after a famous author (and a pro-wrestler according to DH.) Can you guess what it is yet?

[AppleandMosesMummy]

Blime Lovebuckets there's so many to choose from, I'm going for Kurt though.

[LoveBuckets]

Bingo!

[8oreighty]

That's a nice name!
I had the same thing from MIL. Still upsets me to remember, but so happy we stuck with our name. Along the lines of Zach. There are loads of Zachs in America...and it's a cool name. I think you know deep down if you love a name and it's a good one or if you're being a bit silly...(I didn't go for Honeysuckle Rose after wanting it all through my pregnancy!)

[NigellaTufnel]

When we told my mum our DS's name - she was the first person we told and we were very excited - she said:

"Oh no... I was thinking Andrew."

Fuck everyone else, you are the one who will be murmurring it at 3am trying to get them back to sleep.

And I think that Zack is pretty cool.

Parents got to choose your name, you get to choose your dc's.

[MamaLazarou]

I really couldn't care less what people think of the names I choose. if I told someone a name I was considering and they said they didn't like it, I wouldn't be offended, and it would not affect my choice in the slightest.

If I really liked a name, I certainly wouldn't come on to MN and start a thread asking people if they like it. There will always be someone who doesn't like your choice, so what's the point? Unless you are serious about 'fitting in' and conforming, but I've always thought fitting in was over-rated.

As for children being bullied, well... children will be bullied whatever their name. My brother's name is Scott, and he got nicknamed 'Prick' at school. I too have a perfectly ordinary name, but was bullied relentlessly because I didn't have the same bag, shoes, etc, as everyone else. I think the benefits of having an unusual name far outweigh the negatives.

[rimmer08]

i wouldnt tell anyone the real name and if nosey parkers kept buggin would say something like cowface for a girl and he-man for a boy

[TakeLovingChances]

How do I feel? Really f**ked off!

I saw the title of this thread and had to post before I even read what all the rest of you had written!

DH and I recently found out that we're expecting 1st baby (will be 1st grandchild on both sides).

We are keen on a certain name for girl, and another certain name for a boy. My parents don't like either name and keep making faces and saying "noooo!" when we tell them the names! It really annoys me!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Any advice to last 9 months of this and not go mad at them?

Now I'm finished ranting I'm going to start reading the rest of the thread.

Good day.

[notsoteenagemum]

No-one liked my dc names at first but now they are here no-one could imagine them being anything else.
I think you should be confident enough in them not to be bothered by what anyone thinks.

My sil did the not telling the name thing it was annoying because she kept saying how unusual her choices were so everyone was guessing then when he was born it was an anticlimax because it was not only a popular name but also what we were going to call dd if she was a boy which I found weird.

[mrsradders]

it makes me cross if people react badly then i kick myself for giving them the chance to make me feel crap...makes me feel worse when DH though!!!

love the name zach and love ted for edward.
xxx

[BabyBump2B]

I really don't know why people share the names with family and friends before the birth.

DH had mentioned ages ago perhaps using the name of a childhood friend who had died when he was growing up as a middle name which somehow launched into an insane discussion with his parents and the girls parents behind our back with everyone not wanting to name DD this name. We had never intended it to be a first name just a tribute to his friend and the whole thing got insanely out of hand.

So he told them off and that we won't be checking with them on how they feel about the name and they've stopped dropping names they like into conversation (or pointing out which names they think are "maid's or butler's" names).

We also started referring to her (we're due in a week) as LaShonda whenever we spoke to them just to get their goat.

Don't tell people is my advice. Tell them when they see the baby if you think they'll be judgemental because how you can hold at a baby and demean its name at the same time i beyond me!