nearly 4 weeks old and the name hasn't 'stuck'... help!

[nosleeptilbedtime]

I'm new to mumsnet so hi, have a 7 yr old dd and just had ds who we have named Alfie. The problem is I am still not sure about the name, I felt a bit pressured into it by my partner at the time we decided, he doesn't know I feel like this yet.
i don't even call him his name, still using silly nicknames like sausage etc...
is it too late to change my mind? We haven't registered the birth yet but time is running out. We have told everyone his name is Alfie now It just doesn't feel right.

My friend changed her mind at 6 weeks on the way to register her dd, so it's not too late. What name do you want?

FWIW I think it's a mistake to register a nickname - much better to use the full name then always use the nick name. That way the child has choices in later life.

We changed ds2's name after a week or so because it just wasn't right. I kept trying to call him it and it didn't work. Can't explain. Anyhoo,we did get a few cards for the old name but people soon got used to the new one! Go for it.

We changed our sons name at birth - we told everyone we were going to call him Thomas and then spent 2 days umming and ahhing and went with a different name. People deal with the change - it's your baby afterall! Although i spent about a month calling him Tom in advertently!

My friends also sent out mass text saying their daughter beatrice was born before sending out further text to say she had now changed her name to Imogen - this was after we had all sent cards welcome little Bea into the world!

I would speak to you partner first and foremost - see what he says and ask your DD too.

If it doesn't feel right, then speak to your partner. I have to say, I personally don't think any baby 'suits' their name. I find that they suddenly grow into them when they start getting their own little personalities. If you really don't like it though, then don't stick with it just because everyone knows that is his name now. They can easily find out his new name

I'd discuss it with your partner first asap and see how he feels.
On one hand names do sometimes take a while to stick. Ds1's name felt odd to me for ages, but I did love the name and still do and it suits him 100% now at age 3, no regrets at all.
On the other hand, if you really feel strongly about it and feel sure you'll regret it then best to talk to your partner to give yourselves time to discuss and decide between you before you need to register the name.

Have you an alternative name you prefer? or is it just that you arent sure on Alfie but also not sure on what else you prefer?

What other names have you considered?

I liked Leo, Jonathon, Tom, Conrad, Josef. dp didn't agree with any of those...Glad to hear other people are as indecisive!

It's not to late, and what does it matter if you've told other people already. It's your baby, your choice. FWIW I'd not frown upon someone changing the name of their LO.

Talk to your DP and tell him you're not happy, that you really would like to change the name, but you'll like to keep Alfie as the middle name. Compromise!

What other name do you have in mind?

Sorry X post!

keeping Alfie as middle name is a good idea

Liking Conrad v much.

If you are not happy then tell dp and change it. It's definitely not too late. Alfie sounds quite different to the other kind of names you liked - was it acompromise name? Choose a name you love. It would always be in the back of my mind it wasn't quite right, whilst dh would have loved Dettol & Ajax as long as I was happy.

will try talking to dp about it tonight, he always wanted alfie right from the start and pretty much dismissed my suggestions which didn't make for much of a discussion

Cry..always makes my dh horrified

Hope it's a productive discussion.

someone I know has just changed their daughters name at 6 months old. It took me all of 10 minutes to get used to the new name, and actually, she does rather suit it!
Do what feels right, rather than live with the regret

I forgot to mention that a friend of mine had her name changed at the age of 2 - she has her birth certificate and first passport in her original name but lives happily as an adult with all the correct documentation with her new name.

I do sympathise... it's not a nice feeling at all.

did you know, you don't have to register the name when you register the birth. you can just register the birth and then add the name later- you have 12 months to do this. And also, for the first 12 months, you can change the name simply by filling in a form and then having the birth certificate re-issued.

I don't think you should feel pressurised and if it doesn't feel right, then you shouldn't keep this to yourself, you should talk to your partner. although I do have to say that babies (and their parents) sometimes take a while to grow into their names. that's certainly what happened to me!

Like your style Heated!!!

You can change your child's name at any time. If you haven't registered him then it's easy peasy just regostere the new name.

If however you have registered him, then within the first 12 months you can go back to the office and change his name on his birth certificate.

After 12 months you need to provide evidence that you have been using a new name (easy).

After that, deed poll..

I happen to know too much about this as registered dd at 6 weeks, then hated the name with a passion, and went back to the office and changed it officially on the birth certificate....2 months later.... OK so she will think I am mental when she grows up, but at least she won't have a horrid name!

regostere?

oh dear pregnancy addled mind- erm, just read the above posts, muminthemuddle is right.

Go for Conrad or Tom I say- don't feel the need to keep alfie at all, he's not going to know or want to use it when he grows up and if he bizarrely does, he can change his own name!

I really dislike Josef by the way, don't be offended but Josef Fritzl kinda ruined the name....

My parents changed my name when I was about three months. I was wondering recently if that confused my brother - he was 18mths when I was born and all his first sentences were things like 'X sleeping' and 'X hungry', so he obviously knew I was X until they decided to call me Y.

thanks everyone, sockmonster you are right about Josef Fritzl, not a good association! Will keep you posted on how I get on persuading dp. Any more name ideas gratefully accepted!

Leo, Jonathon, Tom, Conrad, Josef (maybe spelt Joseph to get away from the negative association) are nearly all formal names whilst Alfie, although used nowadays as a name in its own right, is a diminutive; therefore I think you ought to choose a formal name as that seems to be your taste, and formal names often have nicknames, which might appeal more to DP. eg. Jonathon is lovely and has some cool nn like Jon/Jonny/Jonty.

Discuss it with your DP. I had this with DC3 and actually inserted the name I wanted into his name by re-registering, but then had to have it legally taken out as I knew he would hate me for the rest of his life for not being able to fit his name onto forms. As it happens, I have come full circle and think the name we choose is more interesting and has more about it than the very plain name we almost chose. But, if you have never really liked 'Alfie' you must discuss it. I found whenever I got really tired I stressed about his name!