Surname - using mine or DH's or hyphenating - what did you do?

[Hero76]

Have to go and register DC's name next week. But still unsure about what to do about surname. DH and I are married so I want DC to have his name so it's clear he's the father. But part of me feels sad that my name just disappears (and to be truthful prefer my surname to DH's). Thought about hyphenating them but although I wd change my name to Myname-DH's name, DH not willing to, and then it seems weird.....What have other people done?

Could you use your surname as an additional middle name for your DC? I personally wouldn't hyphenate as always think it looks a litte too try-hard.

My children have both surnames. Non hyphenated. There is absolutely no way I'd want my children simply to have their father's surname. But I'm not bothered, either, about having the same surname as them. So he has his, I have mine, and our children have both.

your surname as middle name?

Is there anyway you can joint both surnames together without a hyphen? That's the surname that our dds have. I changed my name to be the same, but dh thinks it a bit weird so hasn't.

We used my surname as one of the middle names.

We're married. He has his surname, I have mine and DD has his but can change if desired.

I'd give DC both surnames without a hyphen. That way s/he can choose which one to call themselves by when they're older (if not both) and which one to pass on to their own children. I've kept my name which includes both my parents' surnames without a hyphen, and my children have those as their middle names and their father's name as their main surname. I think it's important to pass on our 'maiden' (HA!) names to the next generation-it's seems sad to me that the mother's family name should just fade away as soon as she gets married and has children.

We're married, and I kept my own name. DD has my surname, DH doesn't mind a bit, but lots of people think he should, and it does cause all kinds of ishoos.

My youngest has both without a hyphen but is known by mine.

I am married but kept my own name. Our child will have my surname as one of his/her middle names.

I am myname, he is hisname, the children are myname-hisname.

There has never been the slightest confusion or raised eyebrow and the the dcs love being the only two myname-hisnames in the world!

Same as Seeker. The children are hyphenated. As Seeker says, they like the fact that their name is unique. We really have never encountered any confusion about the fact that DH and I each have half the children's surname - it is self-explanatory really.
In my experience, if you give them both names without the hyphen the final name will be the only one to be used in practice, so it depends.

I am one of 4 daughters born to a man who had 3 sisters so my family surname dies out with me and my sisters.
Both my boys have it as their middle name on their birth certificates. So if you saw their birth certificates together you'd think it a bit strange maybe that they have the same middle name... (Maybe it is strange but I wasn't thinking straight for months after ds2 was born and I've sometimes wished I used my mothers maiden name instead for him).

We did it that way so they have a nice middle name, that goes with their first and last names, means something to us, and they can double barrel it later on if they want to.

I don't feel attached to my surname. After all it is my fathers name really, in just the same way as my married name is my dh's. But then my maiden and married names are very very similar (two letters the same, two different). My signature didn't even change! The children would have a very odd looking surname if we had double barreled them. I do know a couple of people where the dh has changed his name (mostly where she had a better sounding surname than him). I also have a very unusual first name, so in truth I don't feel that my surname is of particular importance (I usually introduce myself by first name only for example).

I do sometimes wonder how things will work out in the next generation with so many double barreled children around - will they be quadruple barreled??

yes i was thinking about using my name as a middle name, but it is definitely a surname IYSWIM, plus we already have a middle name picked out so I didnt know whether it wd be a bit long to have First Name Middle Name Myname DH's name for a tiny child!

Is it more common that the parents not married if DC has two surnames?

I'm quite sure that lots of people think DH and I are not married because we have different names and our children have both our names. But why should I care if they assume that? My marital status is nobody else's business.

I was planning to give ds both my surname and dh's (I kept my own when we married). But dh decided he wasn't bothered about his name (probably millions of people share it and it's quite boring) so ds just has mine. Does cause a few raised eyebrows here in deeply conventional suburbia but so what!

Like the both surnames idea - think that's what they do in Spain but they have rules about which surname is given to the children (i.e. mother and father each have two surnames, can't recall which two out of those four go to their child).

Like some of the others here DD has my surname as a middle name. We are married and I have taken DH's surname, but my maiden name is an unusual Portuguese one and I really wanted it to live on (actually it was a condition to taking on his surname!). So DD's name is like this:
First Name / Second Name / My Surname / DH's Surname.
She is just known as First Name / DH's Surname.

I made my surname one of the middle names so that she is not obliged to use it daily as it would be quite a mouthful (it is two words!). Next baby due in 3 weeks and plan to do the same thing. It did occur to me recently that were DD to marry and take on her husband's surname then it would be my surname that would live on in her name, and not DH's!

ds has four names, like your dd, soundbites. Dh was very firm about middle names in return for not using his surname - ds has both his grandads' Christian names. MIL sniffed at using my surname alone and announced, oh, your father never liked his first name!

My ds has both our surnames hyphenated, we delibarately chose a short first name though otherwise it could have been a bit of a mouthfull. Having said that my surname only has three letters so not too bad!