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Would you compromise on a middle name to keep your mum happy?

19 replies

firstontheway · 13/03/2009 16:13

I stupidly mentioned near the beginning of my pregnancy that I was thinking of having my mum's name as a middle name for our baby. But at that time I hadn't decided what her first name would be. I only mentioned it once, very briefly in passing that we were thinking of choosing her name.

Fast forward and I'm now 39 weeks, and we've known she's a girl since 17 weeks and have a name (provisionally) picked out, which she knows about and everyone likes, but which doesn't go with my mum's name, so had also decided on a different middle name. Anyway, my bf had a baby on Wed and they have chosen the same middle name as we had (Rose). I told my mum this and she started getting a bit arsey about how she was excited the baby was going to have her name and now she's really disappointed, I've let her down etc etc

I did try to explain that the names don't really 'go' together but she insists they do. DH is now saying we should use her name to keep her happy, especially since we would need to choose a different one anyway (AND Bf was due 3 days after me sob sob)

What do you think?
The name we've chosen is Samaya, my mum's name is Alicia, and our last name also begins with an Ahh sound.

I actually love the name Alicia and would be happy to use it if it 'worked' but I'm just not sure it does. Plus I don't get along exactly swimmingly with my mum anyway, and though she's madly excited about the baby, there's been quite a few arguments and tears along the way with her critisising me on everything from my choice of pram to the way I'm going to feed her. So while I don't want to cause any more upset I'm also not sure I want to cave in iyswim?

OP posts:
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firstontheway · 13/03/2009 16:13

God that's long.

Would a simple 'does Samaya go with Alicia' have done it?!

OP posts:
Fimbo · 13/03/2009 16:17

How do you pronounce it all?

Dd's teacher's first name is Samia. Is it the same?

Why not have 3 names

Samaya Rose Alicia

Fimbo · 13/03/2009 16:17

Or even Samaya Alicia Rose.

diedandgonetodevon · 13/03/2009 16:19

Oh dear, they don't really go do they. Could you put another name in the middle or is that too long? (our family always have 2 middle names but I know it's not to everyone's taste)

Samaya Rose is lovely tho. Does the same middle name as your friend really matter that much if you were set on the name. It's a bit different to having the same 1st name.

diedandgonetodevon · 13/03/2009 16:20

x-posted with quicker typers!

gegs73 · 13/03/2009 16:22

Can't you give your baby 2 middle names (including your Mums)and put them in an order which sounds OK. I did this with DS1 as I wanted him to have my Grandads name but it didn't go with his first name.

gegs73 · 13/03/2009 16:22

slow typer too!

GetOrfMoiLand · 13/03/2009 16:23

Would say have 3 names as well (dd has three names).

Samaya Alicia is nice, anyway. i know it doesn't exactly trip off the tongue but i don't really think it's that important.

I think that as you told your mum that you were going to use Alicia, I think it would be nice to keep that promise, tbh I can see why she is hurt.

Actually, far prefer Alicia. Why not Alicia Rose or Alicia Samaya?

firstontheway · 13/03/2009 16:25

Thanks for the quick replies! Will be pronounced Sa-may-a

I do suppose we could have a third name, I just wonder if it's still too many Ahhhs?! I'm not as keen on doing that, but may be worth it if it makes her happy!

I could still use the name Rose- bf said I should, but it doesn't feel as special now somehow iykwim?! It does go beautifully though, so may reconsider!

OP posts:
firstontheway · 13/03/2009 16:28

Okay, the general consensus is 3 names then?!

So, which order do you think is best? If we ausume for now I'm keeping Rose. And bearing in mind our last name also starts with Ahh.

GetOrfMoiLand- TBH I really like the name Alicia too, but wanted an arabic one for baby's first name as we're muslim

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Fimbo · 13/03/2009 16:28

I don't think Samaya Alicia sounds bad. You rarely say your first and middle name together anyway.

My dd's middle name is after my mum, I think my dad thought I was going to do the same with ds, but his name is Brian!

OrmIrian · 13/03/2009 16:28

I don't think it matters. How often are you likely to call her by both names anyway. I'd do the mother-soothing thing personally.

My eldest DS has the middle name Roye because it was his late-paternal grandfathers name. Can't say I like it but DS has never been bothered.

Fimbo · 13/03/2009 16:29

Is it Al esha or Ali sha

firstontheway · 13/03/2009 16:29

LOL Fimbo, my Dad's name is Colin so not sure we'll be going down that road either

OP posts:
firstontheway · 13/03/2009 16:30

Fimbo- pronounced A-lee-see-a

OP posts:
Fimbo · 13/03/2009 16:31

Samaya Alicia Rose

or could you use Alice instead?

Samaya Alice Rose

Fimbo · 13/03/2009 16:33

Ah with that pronunciation I would go
Samaya Rose Alicia

dinkymum · 14/03/2009 09:15

i think it does go but also agree with adding an extra name if you're not sure. I do think its a lovely idea to give her your mums name, both my DC's have middle names that have a meaning or story behind them.

LadyOfWaffle · 14/03/2009 09:49

Definatly Samaya Alicia Rose

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