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Should I change ds's name by deed poll.

13 replies

ForeverOptimistic · 05/03/2009 14:46

We never gave ds any middle names because we never really saw the point of additional names. Ds has decided he wants two middle names, he wants Peter (dh's middle name) and he wants me to choose one so I am thinking of either Tobias or James.

The thing is ds is only 4 and a half. Are we being daft to do this?

What is the Mumsnet opinion?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Tamarto · 05/03/2009 14:50

When will he use them?

2pt4kids · 05/03/2009 14:52

I'm sure some people will see it as daft and pandering to a small child, but do you know what - why not?
Its not expensive, it doesnt affect anyone else and if its something that matters a lot to your DS then go for it!
It will be a lovely thing for your DS to remember when he is older that he helped choose part of his own name

ForeverOptimistic · 05/03/2009 14:52

Well exactly, that is why we never bothered with them. I think he would like extra initials he likes watching dh sign his name with his middle initial. I think they have also been discussing names at school and he feels left out because all the other children have lots of extra names. I can see that just having one name is quite plain but we thought otherwise at the time.

OP posts:
Bubbaluv · 05/03/2009 14:54

My sister asked to have her name changed at about 6yo. She stopped responding to Sophie and would only answer to Tinkerbelle.
I would nominally agree to the idea and then change it legally if he still feels the same way when he's 12 or thereabouts. He doesn't need to worry about the legalities or lack thereof at this age. I think it is healthy to show that you are listening to his opinion though.

ForeverOptimistic · 05/03/2009 14:55

Yeah I am thinking we will let him, he will have to save up some of his pocket money to go towards the cost. You are right 2pt4kids there isn't really any reason to refuse.

OP posts:
LuLuBai · 05/03/2009 14:56

I think that sounds like a really nice idea. OK maybe it's pandering slightly but it's also respecting him and supporting him to make a big decision about himself.

The name he has chosen for his middle name is perfectly sensible and also links to his father which is very sweet.

I think 2pt4kids is right, it will be lovely for him to remember this.

Just make sure he understands that he can only do this once, or things could get silly .

Tamarto · 05/03/2009 14:56

In your shoes if he wanted, i'd ask the school to add them to the register, i never use mine, nor do any of my kids and they all have two middle names.

If he insists on using them for a few years i'd see about doing it officially.

My eldest DS has a surname that isn't his given one, we've had no need to make it official yet so haven't, more so if he changes his mind in the future it's easy to.

thumbwitch · 05/03/2009 14:57

There's nothing to stop him using extra names for now - after he's had to fill them in a few times he might get tired of them and decide it would be easier to just stick with what he has.

As Bubbaluv says, if he still feels the same in a few years, then you can do the legals.

LadyOfWaffle · 05/03/2009 14:58

I think it's sweet I'd let him . As long as it's not Postman Pat/Fireman Sam/Brum they are choosing

choochoochaboogie · 05/03/2009 16:44

I think it is important to have middle names. My BIL was given girls name and no middle name and his life was hell until he changed it by deed poll after he left school.

I think it is very mature of your DS to want tto do this and you are all suggesting very sensible names. I'd respect his wishes and go for it.

BrownSuga · 05/03/2009 16:52

I think it's a lovely idea. There are so many things we say no to, to the tender of age, and it's a great thing to be able to say YES to. In your shoes, I'd do it.

dinkymum · 05/03/2009 17:59

I think its agreat idea! at least his name will have a lot more meaning that a lot of peoples do! its an interesting story to it.
My Dad always maintained that people should never be named properly until theyre older anyway lol
I also think its very sweet he wants your DH's middle name as his own too! bless him x

YesSirICanBoogie · 05/03/2009 18:41

If you're in Scotland you don't need to officially change your name. Under 18s need their parents to write to schools etc. My friend changed her surname as a child and is still known as this 20 years later. Maybe you're not in Scotland but not sure how under 18s are affected elsewhere.

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