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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

Why do you need a middle name?

35 replies

Lulubee · 28/02/2009 11:35

I don't understand why people get so hung up on having a middle name for their child. I can see there are genuine reasons when a middle name is appropriate - for instance if there are two names you really love and you can't bear to give one up; or if there is a family connection or you wish to honour a person by giving your child their name, then I can see the point of that.

But if you have a name you love, why isn't it enough just to give your child a single name? There seem to be loads of posts on here from people trying to think of middle names to go with the first names they have chose, and I just don't really get why??

It's not even like it gets used very often, or has a use - after the birth it gets announced as one name to friends and relatives, but after that, do you ever meet new mums at baby and toddler groups and introduce your child as 'Thomas Marmaduke'?

I only have one given name, as do my brother and sister, and we've all grown up to be perfectly well-rounded successful people. I can't think of a single occasion when not having a middle name has been an issue for me - if anything, it's been a bonus as we've never had to have that embarrassing 'revealing of the middle name' conversation with friends/new partners etc. I also know a number of people who refuse to reveal their middle name as they're so mortified by it!

And so, I ask you, what's the berluddy point? I'm not trying to be controversial, I'm just curious!

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CaptainKarvol · 28/02/2009 11:37

So that when your mum and dad yell at you, they can be extra emphatic

"firstname middlename surname, come here this minute"!

So each parent gets to choose a name.

To remember a family member or to uphold a tradition.

All of which you said.

They're not bad reasons.

bluebump · 28/02/2009 11:44

I don't have a middle name.

brettgirl2 · 28/02/2009 11:51

I don't think it is necessary but when you have a very common surname (like us) I think it is necessary for identification purposes.

Put my common first name with the common surname and there are two of us registered at our local hospital with the same DOB! My middle name is the only differentiator and we intend to give our baby a middle name.

Trifle · 28/02/2009 11:56

i absolutely loathe my first name, it is ghastly beyond belief. Nobody thinks it suits me and I thank god that I have a fantastic middle name that I am able to use. To be stuck with my first name and have no alternative would be devastating.

PlumpRumpSoggyBaps · 28/02/2009 12:00

I have two middle names. One was chosen by my maternal grandparents and is vile. The other was chosen by my father and is tolerable. DH's family has a fairly recent 'tradition' of giving the 1st son the father's first name as his middle name. (If that makes sense). However I don't particularly like dh's name so I said no to that idea.

Both my two boys have a middle name each- just because I liked the two extra names.

Weirdly, although my sister and I each have two middle names, our brothers have only one middle name each. I don't know why......

Gorionine · 28/02/2009 12:02

When pregnant with DD1,
DH had a name he loved and I had one I loved for a girl. We settled top give her one as a first name and the other as a middle name (I got the first!)

Our three other DCs only have a first name.

I thuink if it is because of a tradition or out of respect for a beloved family member, or to accomodate both parents choices it is quite nice. I do not see the point if it becomes a chore though.

LOL at CaptainKarvol, I have got a friend who does that ( says all the names of her DCs when telling them of) I love it! yes, a good reason as well indeeed!

PollyGarter · 28/02/2009 12:03

if you're lucky enough to have a middle name that you like, it's a bit like having a pleasant secret

kidcreoleandthecoconuts · 28/02/2009 12:04

DS has n't got a middle name as it took us so long to decide on his first name there wasn't really time to choose another one. He didnt even have a first name until he was 2 weeks old!
DD has a middle name. It's her grandmother's name.

PollyGarter · 28/02/2009 12:05

also, if you have an outlandish first name it can be balanced out by a more ordinary middle name and vice versa... so child can choose what it prefers to bed called later on...

plonker · 28/02/2009 12:11

We gave our dd's middle names for various reasons.

Dd1 has a middle name because dh and I were undecided between 2 names, therefore I gave her her first name and dh gave her her middle name. Incidently she prefers her middle name

Dd2 has a middle name because her first name is rather informal, but we absolutley love it and as it was the only one that we both loved we weren't prepared to compromise. So we gave her a formal middle name, which is now my most favourite name in the whole world

Dd3 has a middle name because we really couldn't agree on a name we both love so dh gave her her first name and I gave her her middle name. I still much prefer her middle name

You did ask

piscesmoon · 28/02/2009 12:16

I haven't got a middle name and I have felt deprived all my life!

purlease · 28/02/2009 12:18

weirdly, we have decided on middle names (don't know if it is a boy or a girl) for dc due in April but not first names - they are faily names.

HecatesTwopenceworth · 28/02/2009 12:21

Depends on the culture. In many, you don't need one. A lot of people want one.

Whereas, for example, in my husband's culture, the naming process is quite structured. (and complicated so I won't go into it!) suffice to say, middle names are needed.

christywhisty · 28/02/2009 12:27

Me too piscesmoon.
Both my 2 got family names that had been used as middle names for a few generations.

othersideofchannel · 28/02/2009 13:16

I don't have a middle name and have been very happy with it!

bytheLiffey · 28/02/2009 13:20

It makes you a bit more identifiable. There are a shocking amount of people with exactly the same name first and last name as me. Having a middle name narrows it down a bit.

Two middle names is overkill though, imo!

RachieB · 28/02/2009 13:29

I am one of 3 girls
only I have a middle name ( its the name my eldest sister wanted me to have ! after her best friend lol)

our 2 sons do have a middle name (after grandfather and great grandfather)

if we have another then the middle name will be hubbys grandmothers name,or my grandfathers name

I think its nice to have a family meaning / connection

claireinthecommunity · 28/02/2009 18:50

I'm the youngest of three, neither of us were given middle names, not sure why.
I really like the idea of passing family names down, so husband and I will be starting off the tradition with our own names as middle names, obviously depending on whether we have a boy or girl.
Husband does have a middle name so if we have a second boy we would be covered for a middle name for him, if we have a second girl I think we'd choose a name with some meaning to us both that we both like-I suppose like the choice for first names.

We haven't even started ttc yet But will be from June onwards. I've been broody for a couple of years now so I've had time to think about all these things already

MrsMattie · 28/02/2009 18:51

Both my children have middle names which honour their grandparents and great grandparents. That's about it, really.

ABetaDad · 28/02/2009 18:59

I have never known anyone without a middle name except me and my Dad.

I felt deprived as piscesmoon did. I am amazed how many others on here have no middle name.

In fact I had to complete an official Govt form one day and the civil servant told me I had to make name up as his computer would not accept people without middle names. I used my Dad's first name and now as a mattr of routine I use it for computer passwords etc.

The reason I do not have a middle name is rather sad. I nearly died as a newborn baby and my parents could only settle on a first name for the christening they had done as they expected me to die in a few hours.

I lived by some miracle.

LackaDAISYcal · 28/02/2009 19:00

You don't need one, granted, but as others have said, it's a good way of honouring family members, and as someonme else said, sounds great when you are being cross with them and use the full name; it seems to have more emphasis

My DS1 has two middle names; one because DH's family has a tradition of first born son having the name as given or middle name, but that name didn't work with my surname in initial form (spelled CJD!), so we added in my maternal grandfather's name as well. DD shares my middle name and is after my maternal grandmother, and DS2 is after my Dad who died a few years ago.

It's not really worth getting your knickers in a twist about though; each to their own and all that!

verylapsedrunner · 28/02/2009 19:15

I don't have one.

LittleMonkeysMummy · 28/02/2009 19:31

DH's family have a tradition of giving the first born the mothers maiden name as a middle name (no way was I inflicting that on my DD - was bad enough as a surname!)

We settled on Isabella (MIL is Isobel and my gran was Bella)

DH's family were most upset that we hadn't carried on the tradition

LittleMonkeysMummy · 28/02/2009 19:32

Oh and I don't have a middle name either

sarah293 · 28/02/2009 19:32

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