2 months til baby & DH says "let's not choose any names til he/she arrives"! Help.

[FlirtyThirty]

I am 7 months pregnant with my first baby and have been making endless lists of names (usually then crossing them all out) for ages. So the other day, I suggest to DH that he might like to tghink about names he likes so we can discuss and come up with a shortlist of possibilities.
He replies by saying he just things he'll wait until the baby's born and decide what he thinks he/she should eb called then...?!
Now, I'm all for having a few options and deciding after the birth ona a final choice -very happy with that. But the idea that we don't even discuss it and he doesn't give it any thought until baby's actually here, fills me with utter terror!
I know it's silly, but I really want to have this as good as sorted before baby's here.

Can anyone help me with gentle ways of encouraging DH to think about names in advance of the birth...?!

I am finding it hard enough to come up with names that I would choose, so I'd really appreciate his input...

Thanks!
Flirty x

Message withdrawn

In a way I wish I'd done that. I planned to call DS his name for so long that when he was born it felt too late to change it. Now I wish I'd called him something slightly different.

You're suffering a variation of the nesting instinct.

Try not to panic, enjoy thinking about it yourself, have your own shortlist even. We took 3-6 weeks after the births to come up with names for our 3. None of us have suffered as a result.

I agree with your DH

I always had lists of 'possibles' but with 2 of three dc didn't even use a name from the lists in the end...sometimes only one name will perfectly suit your tiny individual, and you have to meet him/her first to know which it is

Thanks ladies...

Cadelaide - I think you have hit on something with the variant form of nesting! I hadn't thought of it before but given that we are currently living in a total building site, I now wonder if I'm so conscious of the name thing because it's the only thing that I can really 'do' for baby just now. Can't buy anything etc or prepare the houise as it's still supported by acros and knee deep in rubble and dust!

We had a whole list of names for dd4's arrival, but when she was born she didn't suit any of them and her name just popped into my head

Hi Flirty - just wanted to say that our house was in the same state when DS arrived. In fact I had to dodge the waterboard digging up the pavement outside the house to put us directly on the mains (rather than via next door neighbour's pipework) while in labour! It will get done and will all be worth it!

In the meantime, why not start a short list yourself anyway. It's all part of the fun.

Well with DS#1 we discussed it endlessly. For hours and hours. Came up with lists of possible for both sexes and short lists as well. Then named him something completely different that neither of us had thought of.

Keep the lists in your head and then bring out your favourites when the baby is born. With any luck DH will be so blown away he won't argue.

But I know how Flirty feels.

Imagine that you had no discussion with DH and so you 'go it alone' thinking on the lines of

Joseph
Noah
Luke

Lydia
Eve
Sarah

ie Biblical names

and then beautiful baby is born and Dh says,
'I love the name Jayden-Lee' or 'Chavli-Mae'

and the fact that you had no idea that your DH is into such awful names perplexes you immediately but you then dont have the 9months to talk him out of it.

I do think you need some idea on the name route of your DH................

but you can discuss names with us as it is a fave MN topic!

I would hate not having a name picked until after the baby was born - I would feel all unprepared! I've never looked at a baby and thought "He doesn't look like a Bob, he looks like a Fred!" or something like that but I know other people do. We picked our daughters' names before the birth and stuck with them.

Plus it's good to have a bit of time to think about a name. One name we considered for a couple of months then suddenly realized that one of the possible shortenings sounded rude with our surname!

If you really want to name the baby then you could try picking a couple of names yourself and start refering to the bump by that name - one day for the boy's name and one for the girl. If nothing else I'm sure you will get told if your DH hates it.

PMSL at Chavli-Mae!

Perhaps I should tell DH that it's my favourite name...that would get him interested in finding an alternative pretty quick!

I will work on my shortlist this weekend and come back here to discuss...that maybe is the best solution...

F.x

I rather like Chavli-Mae!!

I had lists and lists of names all typed up on my computer - every time I heard a good girl's name I would add it to my list. DH daily came up with with more and more outlandish names for future DD. In the end, she was a week or so old before we named her and it was a name that hadn't occurred to either of us, it just popped into my head one night and one of DH's favourite names became her middle name.
My sister didn't name any of her 3 DDs for days and days, till she'd got to know them a bit (as far as you can "get to know" someone who's five days old ). I think it's nice to have some ideas but to wait and see what suits when you get to meet your new baby.

WE couldnt agree so each made our top 10 list ---none of these tallied!it did give us a starting point though,we ended up with a name that wasnt on either list!!!

WE couldnt agree so each made our top 10 list ---none of these tallied!it did give us a starting point though,we ended up with a name that wasnt on either list!!!

If he is absolutely adamant about this, I would say create your own little shortlist and then make the final decision when the baby is born.
Some people are set on the idea that you cannot decide a baby's name without seeing what the child looks like, although my DH keeps trying to convince me to decide on a name for each sex the baby's face will change so quickly it could look like whatever name you decide to give it!!